I built a calculator for unpaid labour in the house and I want to help people like me.

[AndreaMartina]

DD is 5 months old. Was up at 2am the other week doing that maths you do when you can’t sleep, what would it actually cost to pay someone to do everything I did this week.

Couldn’t find anything that let me work it out properly so I ended up building one myself. Free, nothing to buy, but I did make it so factor that in however you like.

There’s also a tracker for logging household stuff over a week, which is uncomfortably useful if you’ve ever tried explaining the mental load to someone who genuinely can’t see it. And a template for having the actual conversation about splitting things, which is the bit I found much harder. They are free resources.

Let me know if you want to calculate yours and I’ll link the calculator.

The page that the link takes you to won't tell you that your yearly wage should be £797,000, unless you enter your email either.

PROCEED WITH CAUTION PEOPLE.

This appears to be an attempt to gather information from people. Don't click on the link. It asks lots of personal questions. BEWARE!

Does that mean that if you're at work all day, then do the stuff you get overtime?

Do I have to start paying my kids for their chores? Actually, do i get to deduct pocket money for chores done badly? Can I put them on support plans for insolence?

This, I wanted to be a mother this is why I had children so I could take care of them what ever it took. I was a SAHM so was happy to do everything as my DH was working full time plus overtime so I could be at home. If both working full time then it should be shared 50/50.

Presumably you can sack them after three warnings as well?

I have reported - might be worth you doing the same if you haven’t already

Good point. And I'd also have give them at least 4 weeks chore free. And maybe bank holidays.

So this is just spam for your app op? How utterly ridiculous

Ah but they would have to negotiate who had Christmas off

👍

Ooh look, another “I’m just a mum who built a website, do you want a link” post.

I expect the post will eventually be deleted when it bait and switches to a data mining site. (As they always do)

Agreed.

I'm not clicking the link, but I remember a post on this site a few months ago where someone was whining how being given a bunch of flowers 'adds to a woman's mental load' and wrote out the most pathetic list I've ever seen.
How the flowers must be trimmed, plant food put in water, remembering to top up the water, finding somewhere to put the flowers. Apparently it was a lot of work 🤣

This is a slippery slope - I’ve done the calculations too (and posted them here in the past to then be berated).

I do all the household jobs because it is how we agreed to divvy up our household responsibilities, given that we have no local family and DH’s job has long hours/travel, so my being a SAHP was the only way he could have his career and the family he wanted as much as me. Er, and the dogs. I did the calculator exercise because of a discussion about life insurance - he was provided it with his job so reassured me I and kids would be fine if anything happened to him, but I then explained we needed it to cover ‘what I do’ because as a single working dad in his profession, he would have needed multiple nannies, nighttime nanny services for when he travels, cleaners, laundry services a PA to manage health/school etc. The cost to buy-in my services was in the 6 figures. At no point did I ever say that this was ‘what I was worth’ or that I was in any way ‘more important’ than my DH, but the MN crowd were quick to mock and deride.

The fact is, that if you do not have extended family within a few streets and if the working spouse is in a job that has long hours and involves being away from the house, understanding what accountants call ‘the opportunity cost’ of having a SAHP facilitating family life and that one parent’s career is an important discussion that a couple needs to have - so that the contribution of the SAHP is understood, seen and valued. Regardless of what many of the MN superwomen who are single parents, raising DC alone (and they have my full and utter awe and admiration for doing so) family set ups with SAHP, whether permanent/FT or temporary when kids are young, often depend upon the ‘services’ of the SAHP. The work that parent does is both valuable and essential. Many men genuinely would not have the careers they have without their partner’s support - something most of the men in my circle and certainly my DH knows, speak of and appreciate their partners all the more for. But for some reason, acknowledging this is often seen as insulting to men and suggests SAHM have an inflated sense of their own importance.

After all, there is another thread running that asks whether it is unreasonable to think that SAHMs are lazy. Because, obviously SAHM with school age DC are all just going to the gym and getting their nails done all day, aren't they?

So much for women supporting women in a post-feminist society.

Good grief! 😂 That's the same sort of utter nonsense that is on this ridiculous app/link that the OP posted, as well as (like I said earlier) fishing for personal information, (including your email address.)

.

I did the calculator exercise because of a discussion about life insurance - he was provided it with his job so reassured me I and kids would be fine if anything happened to him, but I then explained we needed it to cover ‘what I do’ because as a single working dad in his profession, he would have needed multiple nannies, nighttime nanny services for when he travels, cleaners, laundry services a PA to manage health/school etc. The cost to buy-in my services was in the 6 figures.

That is a mad comparison though because no one who isn't a psychopath would choose this option of carrying on as before and outsourcing all care for their bereaved children if the mother of their children died. The actual reasonable cost is that he'd have to get a new, much more family friendly job and working out what the likely pay reduction would be, coupled with the costs of some normal childcare. Again, this seems similar to the assumption that if DH hadn't made my coffee this morning I'd have hired an in-home barista rather than made my own and therefore he saved me £30,000 a year.

If you’re unhappy with split of responsibility then actually discuss it with your partner. Your choice to take maternity leave

Hello everyone and thanks for the reports about this thread. We think this is a valuable discussion so we will allow the thread to run. However we have removed the links to the calculator itself as you need to input personal details in order to access the results.
MNHQ

Thank you @PipMumsnet. I hope you've also asked the OP to pay their fee for advertising this app?

So what about when your children have left home? I work full time, but my husband works longer hours. He does the cooking and DIY. I do the gardening and housework. We share all the other chores. I also help an elderly relative and do their cleaning too. We are lucky if we sit down before 9pm.
I raised 3 children, whilst working and he was working mostly overseas. I never thought about what my equivalent salary should be. The teenage years nearly broke me.
its called a partnership…..

It is unpaid labour or you’d get a pension, job protection etc. Society would also acknowledge the work that goes into running a household . But they don’t tend to. SAHM aren’t valued even when it allows their male partner to climb the career ladder. These men wouldn’t be able to stay late or solely focus on work if they didn’t have someone ironing their shirts, watching the kids or cooking dinner.

The work is not valued. It is unpaid and under valued.

Wonder if the op will come back now she can’t spam her app,links.

The solution isn't this app, or a spreadsheet charging your spouse for leaving a cupboard door open.
Every person does "unpaid labour" in the home, the garden, with children.
If you're a SAHP then surely the conversation with the working spouse has to be about having a shared bank account and investing for the future .
Otherwise it's just crass tit for tat.

If the parent who now has care was a high earner, they are unlikely to be able to go down a salary and keep up the kids current lifestyle. Having to move house, school and leaving friends because you can’t afford to live in the area anymore might mean some parents will look at additional care options to be able to keep things as “normal” as possible.

Or some men will look to remarry quickly so they get “free” labour with the bonus of sex too.

labour is normally nof defined as the things you need to do to live. If you wish to define it as such thays fine, but I had children through choice, I live in a home through choice, I raise my kids through choice and I clean my house, drive my car, etc through choice. I do not see it as being forced into some unpaid labour where I need to tell people the value.

this morning I got up, had a shower, got dressed, set up the coffee machine and emptied the dishwasher, at no point was I totting up the cost if I hired someone to bathe me, dress me, make me a coffeee and empty my dishwasher, as that’s life.

tonighr I will make dinner, and water the plants, I don’t think gosh look at me, how much would a chef and Gardener cost, I’m saving thousands doing it myself, thousands!

Yes, indeed. I'm glad MNHQ have removed the link, anyway.
Meanwhile I've charged my DH £1.20 because he didn't close a cupboard door.