How would you deal with this chicken, fox and grain scenario?

[CultureAlienationBoredomandDespair]

We’re driving to London to go on holiday. Our DCs will be looked after by 2 family members. Family member 1 (FM1) lives in South London and we’re flying from Gatwick with an early flight, they want use of car seats.

FM2 will collect DC part way through the week and take them to their house in Herts. We will then fly back to Heathrow around midnight.

Initially we’d hoped FM2 would get public transport to FM1s and drive our car to Herts (travel is quite straightforward midweek but tricky at weekends when we will be travelling down) but they’d rather not. We now find ourselves in a bit of a chicken, fox and grain scenario with the car. Have I missed something straightforward?

Current plan is for us to drive down to FM1 (about 5hrs), leave DC and car seats and then drive to FM2’s, leave the car and then get public transport back to FM1s (probably about 2 1/2hrs) at the weekend as they’re not near a station.

Do your plan but get PT to Gatwick instead of back to FM1 and stay over night at Gatwick.
Or drop car at FM2 then see if FM2 will drive you half way to FM1 and if they will meet you half way somewhere to handover?
Or drive to Heathrow and park in long stay, PT to FM1 and hand over then PT to Gatwick, stay overnight and catch your early flight

Or if you can be more specific about where FM1 and FM2 are and where you’re coming from we could come up with tube stations etc you can park in that might be useful

Id give up and just take my kids on the holiday

Plan to get PT from FM2’s back to FM1’s. Will get PT/ cabs from airports.

I think it depends very much on what feels reasonable to ask of FM1. Could FM1 have your car also and met FM2 midway to handover children, seats and car?

I am enjoying your characterisation of the problem, but that is no help to you at all.

Sorry. I don’t want to be too specific. Neither is near a tube again. One south east London and one just inside M25.

Thanks for the helpful advice.

Leave your car seats at FM1’s. Presumably they will pass over car seats to FM2 when they pass over the kids.

Drive from FM1 to gatwick and use long stay car park.

On the way back, PT from Heathrow to Gatwick, pick up car and drive to FM2 to collect kids and car seats.

What time is your return flight? if you have an early outbound flight and a very late return flight then you may need to use an airport hotel for either the night before you leave or night after you return to make this work

if kids are old enough and car seats small enough, then parent 1 could drive the car directly to FM2 while parent 2 takes the kids & car seats on the thameslink to Gatwick then taxi to FM1. Does that help?

it might also be possible to rent car seats for FM1 for a few days and leave the car only with FM2?

FM1 isn’t that reliable (they’ll be great with DC but not really on the motorway and they don’t do PT so couldn’t get back from dropping DC).

FM2 is very happy to collect DCs. It’s just that they only want to drive their own car there to collect them.

How far is home from either of the destinations?

I thought about this but plane back isn’t due until 11.30ish. FM2 are going on their own holiday in early hours so counter get hotel as need to be there when DC wake up.

Sorry if I’m missing something but why would DC need to go to Gatwick?

Any chance FM2 could drive kids back to FM1 the day you get back? It's a big ask in one way, but in another it means they won't have the kids the night before they go away themselves?

What happens to their holiday if your return flight is delayed (or do you mean 11.30am, giving the whole day to drive from Gatwick long stay parking, assuming there isn't an 8-12+ hour delay)?

About 160 miles

Sorry you’ve got a plane landing back at 11.30pm and FM2 is off on their own hols in the early hours?

That seems very tight. What if your return flight gets delayed?

I think you are going to have to shell out for a taxi fr Heathrow to FM2s. And the next day one of you looks after the kids at FM2s (assuming they are happy to let you stay there after they have gone) and one of you goes on PT to collect the car from wherever it’s ended up, however long that takes, and then drives back to Fm2 to get the rest of you.

Or FM1 collect them?

Or, if it's on the way back that time is tight, could you leave car seats and kids at FM1 then leave the car at Heathrow and then get PT to your flight at Gatwick from there? It's a really inefficient way of doing it, but it puts all the additional time of travelling at the beginning not the end.

I don’t think so and I’d be reluctant to ask.

Yes, that’s the plan. They’d like to leave in the early hours but there’s no flights so delays not an issue

Not really as outbound flight means we’ll have to be at the airport around 5.20-6am

You go to the airport and fms1 and 2 make their own arrangements.

Problem is their flight from Gatwick is really early, so PT from Heathrow to Gatwick may not work too well in wee hours (admittedly I haven’t checked)

Probably need to do what you are suggesting but use taxi from heathrow to gatwick instead of PT. Or do the car drop off and PT to Gatwick the day before and then airport hotel at gatwick before flight.

I don’t really understand sorry? Are they leaving in early hours or not? They want to but can’t…?