How would you deal with this chicken, fox and grain scenario?

[CultureAlienationBoredomandDespair]

We’re driving to London to go on holiday. Our DCs will be looked after by 2 family members. Family member 1 (FM1) lives in South London and we’re flying from Gatwick with an early flight, they want use of car seats.

FM2 will collect DC part way through the week and take them to their house in Herts. We will then fly back to Heathrow around midnight.

Initially we’d hoped FM2 would get public transport to FM1s and drive our car to Herts (travel is quite straightforward midweek but tricky at weekends when we will be travelling down) but they’d rather not. We now find ourselves in a bit of a chicken, fox and grain scenario with the car. Have I missed something straightforward?

Current plan is for us to drive down to FM1 (about 5hrs), leave DC and car seats and then drive to FM2’s, leave the car and then get public transport back to FM1s (probably about 2 1/2hrs) at the weekend as they’re not near a station.

Is the issue the car seats? I don't understand?

Current plan is drive to FM1. Leave DC and car seats, drive to FM2’s, leave car and get PT back to FM1’s. Get up
early and PT or uber to Gatwick (tbc).

Have a great holiday, during which FM2 will collect DC and car seats from FM1’s.

Then flight back to Heathrow, uber to FM2’s. Drive home from FM2’s.

Are you planning to leave the kids with FM1 in the early hours of the morning? Could you leave them there the afternoon before and then do the theirs-Heathrow-Gatwick trip and stay in a hotel at Gatwick?

So this is more about you and the car than the kids and the car seats.

What do you mean there is no issue with flight delays because they can't leave in the early hours? How long do you have between your scheduled arrival at Heathrow and when FM2 needs to leave for their own holiday?

They currently plan/ would like to leave in the early hours but their holiday isn’t dependent on it. So if we were delayed they could wait a few hours.

No. We plan to get to FM1’s around lunchtime the day before the flight. Leaving time to take the car to FM2’s and get back to FM1’s on PT.

Could you change your return flight to land at LGW, pick up your car from FM1 and drive to FM2 to pick up DC?
I feel your pain, it’s the kind of pickle we used to find ourselves in before I realised that spending a few quid extra on better flights saved a world of pain.
Also, I hope you’re not taking full-sized cases because Ubers won’t take them unless you book an XL.

yes your plan works. The painful bit is PT from FM2s to FM1s but at least it’s just you two not with kids, and in the day not at night when services are fewer. Basically you are using a large chunk of child free time on logistics but can’t be helped.

Yes. I mentioned the car seats etc, as FM2’s suggestion had been to drive to FM2’s house, leave the car and all
of us plus luggage and car seats get PT to FM1’s, which seems a bit much to me.

Is the intention to leave the car at FM2's rather than Heathrow because then you don't have to pay for parking? If so, then yes, I think this plan is the best you can get. Presumably you don't have to both go on the trip to take the car to FM2?

Goodness, just book an hotel at Gatwick and get a decent nights sleep after dropping off the DC and transversing London twice. Thameslink straight to Gatwick, dinner and bed sans DC.

It’s just one small-ish case plus 3 rucksacks (on the way there we’ll have a bag for DC’s stuff but that won’t be coming to the airport).

Yes and also FM2’s is much nearer Heathrow than FM1’s

That does make sense but would then mean asking FM1 to have DC an extra night.

Wouldn’t it be easier to fly out and back in to Gatwick? Then your car is there on your return and you can drive to FM2 to collect the DC?

Did you get a big saving on the separate flights?

Presumably no chance at all of changing the flight out to be from Heathrow? The car thing means you've lost all the advantage of Gatwick being nearer FM1 than Heathrow anyway.

I assume the split flights were booked when they thought / hoped that Fm2 would drive their car from FM1’s to FM2’s.

Is that a huge ask since FM1 will have them all afternoon and from the early hours in the morning next day? Basically all you're saving them is bedtime itself that day.

We’d still have to go FM1’s first and FM2’s on the return because that’s where DC will be.

DH booked the flights. I doubt a discount he just would have thought FM1 is nearer Gatwick and FM2 is nearer Heathrow

Yes. I think so (also potentially I think he’d hoped FM2 would collect us from Heathrow).

Possibly not. They won’t have them all afternoon though as only DH will go to FM2’a with the car. I’ll stay with DC.

Ok... think I am catching up. I do question a bit how much FM1 really needs the car seats if they don't really drive but you probably just have to go with what they want.

And you would rather drop the car to FM2's and Uber to theirs after the hol, rather than dropping the car at Heathrow the day before you leave? Not that that would simplify much anyway.

Sledgehammer solution but I wonder if it would be easier if children did first half of the week with FM2 and second with FM1. The night before the holiday the children stay with FM2 and you are with FM1 for the easier trip to Gatwick. Park the car at Gatwick and pick it up after without the pressure of FM2's impending holiday. But presumably your FMs have lots of other things going on in their lives too and there are excellent reasons why it's the other way round.

I agree. I doubt FM1 will use the car seats, but I have to leave them….

FM2 couldn’t change which way round the week is due to work.

I was assuming that FM1 lives near Gatwick and that is an easy train journey, much better than driving across London. But as you haven’t given us locations, it is hard to make recommendations

Do your plan, but change outbound flight to leave from Luton or Stanstead as public transport from FM2 easier than LGW.