Should i advice DS not to add his girlfriend as joint tenant. ?

[Hishome]

Ds is 19 and has been given a one bedroom flat by social housing. He was in supported accommodation before this for around 2 years. He is vunerble in some ways.

He has a girl friend hes been seeing for for about a year maybe slightly longer. Who's 7 years older than him. But she is younger for her age she is also vunerble in some ways she's been through a hell of alot from being a carer for her parent which she's now pulling away from..

I'm going to sound absolutely awful now. But shes going to be moving in with ds and they are talking about her name going on the tenancy as a joint tenant. My worry is if they break up she would still have a legal right to stay there. Obviously ds does as well. But if Ds is the one to leave because its to stressful. He would loose his home. He would then be seen as making himself homeless and won't get any help its very rare for a young male to get social housing which is for life. If he looses that due to relationship break up. Hes stuck in rented rooms until hes 35 and then unsecured accommodation for life.

I just think if she's moving in it should be as an occupant not a joint tenant as least for a year or 2.

I should add that she does currently have her own housing application.. they are at the stage of homless intervention. Where they are offering her studio flats /rooms. well out of the area . And she's refused them. Because they would isolate her from her support network and have a big impact on her mental health. Which i totally understand. She's explained this to the council. They told her that she needs evidence from her GP which the GP has done but she's still not collected. She's been warned they could end their duty if she refuses accommodation. But now Ds has his place and she's moving in. She will tell the council, shes moving in with her boyfriend and the application will be closed. Which i understand that's not a problem . But I'm worried about Ds housing should anything go wrong.

She wants to be joint tenant so she has security .

I just want people's opinions.

And I'm sorry if the post is a bit mixed. I was typing as it came to me.

As he's young and also vulnerable I'd say you're spot on to be honest. She can move in but I'd say steer clear of having her as a joint tenant. Mind you, I'd also be keeping a close eye on the wider issue - two vulnerable people together can be recipe for disaster.

No, categorically not. It was offered to him as a single. shoehorning herself in like this would be taking the piss and may lead to a host of issues in the future.

I would advise them to have separate homes it’s safer for them (although less efficient for taxpayers)
why wasn’t your son living with you at 17? This might impact how much he respects your opinion (not trying to sound rude)

Yes, he needs to keep the tenancy in his name only.

It was offered to him, as a vulnerable single person, not as a couple and he shouldn’t risk his housing security for someone else’s benefit. They’re still both young and quite likely to split up within a few years.

As far as I’m aware she has to prove she has been living with him for over a year before she can be added to the tenancy agreement. I’d advise against it but it’s up to him.

Absolutely no need for her to be added to the tenancy

As a single young male he's very lucky to have got this flat and it would be a shame if he had to leave it if he fell out with his girlfriend. Point out to him that he is only young and his feelings ( or hers) could easily change. Not having her on the lease gives a get out for both of them should things not work out.
Perhaps suggest looking at it again in a couple of years time if they are still together.

Yes there is no need to her to be added to the tenancy. I doubt you’ll be able to stop him, but maybe the council or HA will advise against it due to his vulnerabilities

This.
Relationship limits: Councils usually only grant joint tenancies to married couples, civil partners, or cohabiting partners who have lived at the property for at least 12 months.

This isn’t you, is it? Sounds very similar.

Is the girlfriend wanting him to buy Russell Hobbs appliances and wanting only certain colour sofas despite him not being able to afford to buy things from a charity shop? I would be very worried about him, if so.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/5557215-ds-has-been-offered-a-flat-but-he-doesnt-have-furniture?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=app_share

Moving in together is forcing a much more committed relationship and living as many and wife. Your child is young and vulnerable. They may end up supporting and looking after this young person and giving themselves stress and an adult life they are not ready for or able to deal with. Consider trying everything you can to discourage them moving in together.

If this was a woman of 19 moving in with a 26 yo man
The advice would be "Don't make yourself homeless" So you can see why she wants to be in the area that suits her not miles away but not vunerable to being out on her ear .

Men can be just as vunerable especially as he is so young .

Was it her idea to move in?

Do either of them work. Would her moving in affect his benifits.

I just noticed the age difference. This is a potentially unsafe relationship for your child. I would not be encouraging or facilitating this move.

They are both adults. Has your son asked for your advice @Hishome?

She is 26 with seemingly no / little family support. I suspect she will want a baby soon.

You sound like a loving and caring parent. How come your son is vulnerable to the extent that he qualifies for a council flat of his own? I'm just curious as I don't know and have never met a 19 year old in the same position. I suppose it's because I live in London - the only people I am aware of getting a council flat as a young, single person would be single mothers.

Yes but I changed name to keep it separate never mind 😅 .

But they are being a bit more real now. It wasn't just her though it was both of them saying silly things. Its possible they were just a bit over excited and then reality hit.

Oh I will look it up

Ah, well that’s good. I still would advise against her being named on the tenancy. Can you talk him through the situation if they were to break up and she is named? What does he think would happen? Does he have any sort of social worker/project worker who can advise him as well?

The cost of her security is his potential insecurity.

Its both. They do get on well. And seem happy. Im not overly worried about her moving in. Its just the tenancy side of things that worry me.

I'd switch it around and say it's in her best interest to have a separate home as a woman. If you say to your son that you regard him as vulnerable then he'll only be more determined to move her in.

Turning it round to her and being concerned for her future wellbeing will make her less defensive towards you & your intentions. As social tenancy applications take a long time to process, she'd be silly not to pursue a claim in her own name. Nobody can predict the future and how long the relationship will last.

No way. It's his flat and his alone. I'd be very worried that she's pressing for this. It is not acceptable at all.
If he wants her to move in that's already probably not the greatest idea.

I know PP has said re the adding the GF to the tenancy, that’s not possible at the moment.
You state that both your DS and his GF are vulnerable. Do either of them have input from adult social care?
Just advising from a capacity viewpoint, does your DS understand that if he doesn’t maintain the tenancy that he is at risk of being homeless again? By maintaining I mean paying rent, bills, keeping the property in a habitable state.

Local authorities have teams who can support with life skills, might be worth a chat with your DS about this.