I need some excuses to tell the schedule woman at work why I can’t do overtime

[AintNobodyHereButUsChickens]

This is just for fun, it’s in my contract that OT is mandatory. But today she told me I had to do OT tonight so I told her I was too busy washing my hair. She laughed and put me down anyway. So that got me thinking, what other silly excuses can I give?

‘I have to walk my fish’ for definite.

I’m sure you lot can come up with some good ones!

I really wish I could but unfortunately I don’t want to.

Tell her you're a vegan on Tuesdays.

and for every day after “Can’t i’m too egg-sausted after that chicken walk”.

You have a bone in your leg.

You need to buy a kit kat (o something) from Waitrose before their competition finishes so it must be done tonight!

You've promised the kid next door you'll go to the park to play on the seesaw together and you're looking forward to a swing and a slide too.

If I don't go now, I'm going to miss my model train.

The big wheel isn't working on the model train set and you need to go round and fix it

Sorry Janet, I'm plucking my bikini line.

No can do, it's 2 for 1 at the kebab shop tonight.

I'd love to but I promised my bestie I'd help her hide a body.

We work in a chicken factory 😂😂

I work in a chicken factory No, I can't do overtime because:

-I think I'm coming down with chicken pox
-I think I have avian flu
-I feel so plucked today
-I have a fowl taste in my mouth

In all honesty, I'd be checking the working time directive and your contract in terms of hours rest hours required before your next shift. Especially if its a factory with potentially dangerous equipment etc.

You need to feed your late dog's ghost

Maybe you could start going to the weekly meetings of your local How Not To Kill Your Houseplant Society.

It’s all above board, don’t worry. It’s only ever a max of 2hrs OT and even if I did the full two hours there’d still be 13.5hrs off until my next shift starts. It’s apparently rare that we do the full two hours, it’s usually just one.

Can’t offer anything silly…

But completely feel your pain on the mandatory OT, I had it as part of my job several years ago, it was 37.5 hours additional every 6 months, aka 1 weeks OT within every 6 months 🙈

I know. Pun absolutely intended. 😬

Aww this might come true soon, my dog is 14 and is very doddery now. Going blind, deaf and a bit senile 🥲

You’ve got to repot your plastic plants.

You are practising for when the right to reasonable notice of change of shift time laws come into being later this year!

Someone needs to make an excuse generator one of these...

codepo8.github.io/shakespeare-insult-generator/

Or, having worked as a scheduler in a factory for ten years here’s a few genuine reasons I was given why people either couldn’t come (or didn’t come) in that day (contracted hours, not over time) or were late:

I can’t get here for 8am because I don’t get up till 7.30 so miss the 7.35 bus.

I lost my key so couldn’t lock up. Yes my mum was home, but she might want to go out later, so then I wouldn’t be able to get back in until she came home.

I have to wait in for a parcel

I got my dates mixed up when booking a holiday, and instead of booking the week you agreed, I booked the week before that you had refused, then I forgot to tell you about my mistake until I got back.

My sisters child is ill and off school, so I have to look after them while she goes to the hairdressers

I was up all night gaming so I’m too tired.

And my personal favourite:

My sister in law, who has the same name as me, looks exactly like me, and works in this very factory, even though no one here knows her, has been arrested, but when you read about it in the papers it definately wasn’t me.

Is that contract even legal? Doesn't mandatory overtime basically mean you're on call 24/7 with no compensation?
I'm a social worker, I may need to work extra in an emergency. I'm sure police and health staff do too, but a chicken factory having mandatory overtime seems crazy. I bet the wage is crap too.

I can't, I'm meeting the pool guys, I painted the bottom of my pool American flag blue and some ex- Olympian was near it the other day and made a slit in the bottom which caused all sorts of issues with algae and floating paint.... anyway they'll have finished draining it by now, soooo Id better be off.

Mandatory OT is legal as long as it’s written into your contract, which it is. And I opted out of the 48hr max working week. OT is paid at time and a half. OT isn’t regular, I’ve been there for two months and haven’t done OT at all until last week! It all depends on how well the chickens are laying and when the farmer replaces the birds, so it kind of comes in waves.