I need some excuses to tell the schedule woman at work why I can’t do overtime

[AintNobodyHereButUsChickens]

This is just for fun, it’s in my contract that OT is mandatory. But today she told me I had to do OT tonight so I told her I was too busy washing my hair. She laughed and put me down anyway. So that got me thinking, what other silly excuses can I give?

‘I have to walk my fish’ for definite.

I’m sure you lot can come up with some good ones!

The yolks on you. I wanted to work late today anyway.

I’m too busy doing an AMA on working in a chicken factory.

I have to record a podcast about small-clawed otters having opposable thumbs.

I can’t work overtime as you didn’t ask me first - I can’t cope with being too low down the pecking order!

I would, but I’m sure the chickens would suspect I’m winging it!

I’d love to stay, but I’m already feeling a little cooped up.

OK, so I have spent almost all my working life in the EU, so I don't really get this. How can OT be mandatory?!?! It's voluntary here in Spain and even that is capped at 80 hours a year!

I'm sorry but I need to take my Racing Snail to it's training session.

Because that was in the terms of her employment contract, overtime will be required when the needs of the company need to be met. Giant car manufacturer near me do it all the time. People on the line can be told an hour or so before the end of shift they will need to stay back. The company near me also do paid stand downs when it’s quiet and bank the hours for over time at other times in the year.

You’re mixing a vat of tartan paint.
You’re doing fractional distillation of elbow grease.

the first company I worked for someone called in sick because his girlfriend was sunburnt. Same place someone else called in sick because they had taken too much bonjella.