If your life has run smoothly to date …

[JammyPearl]

If life has pretty much gone your way , how much would you say has been down to luck , hardwork or a positive mind set ? I am wondering if a negative mindset attracts negative outcomes or a positive one attracts good fortune ,for example even over things outside your control such as the weather. Some people seem to have the knack of picking holidays months in advance and always getting the week where the sun shines etc or when disaster looms seem to come out unscathed . Yet some people seem to be dogged by misfortune and tragedy through no fault of their own .

A bit of all three, maybe a bigger ratio of luck or a bit of “right place right time “ and “things happen for a reason”. I feel pretty content and happy and I’ve had a good run (stable work, safe home, some savings, supportive friends). Although I’ve been through divorce and cancer so maybe not totally smooth?! Positive mind set probably got me through that bit of life.

A bit of all three, but I also make very careful decisions and weigh up risks well.

I'd say if you feel your life is going smoothly then it is down to a mix of good luck and hard work, but mostly a positive mindset because no ones life goes smoothly and the only way you could think is has is because you have a positive mindset.

Eg I think my life has so far gone well and I'm generally happy. I fo a job I love anx we are financially comfortable. I have however over the past 35 years since reaching adulthood experienced DV, sexual assault, heartbreak, much, much stress due to DCs and DHs chronic health conditions, redundancy, high risk pregnancy, burglary, etc the list goes on but I still feel my life is going smoothly because I have a positive mind set.

My life is not smooth now however up to the age of about 33 I didn’t seem to have a problem. Good parents good partner decent job. Nothing seemed to go very wrong.

I think everyone being healthy , enough money and being around sensible people go a long way to it.

now 44 sen child, health issue, parent died and one redundancy

All seems stable, no real planning just kind of knew a bad step.

No one's life is simple or easy.
It's how you handle the situations which life throws at you.
Do you have a positive out look...?
It's raining on holiday, nevermind, I'll do the things I can and read a book when it's too wet to do anything else.
Or
The whole thing is ruined and I won't/can't enjoy myself.

Removing yourself from drama or getting involved it.

Taking opportunities even if they make life more difficult for a short period, but will be better long term.

Also making sensible money decisions, cut your cloth, take the job offer, accept the training, don't stretch too far with rent or mortgage etc.

This. Plus I always put my needs first. No good can come from subjugating yourself and being a people pleasing doormat.

All 3!

Generally I think 'Just do it' (if it feels right!).

Do whatever makes you happy!

Well as the lefties will tell us...A lot of what feels like hard work and good choices is actually unacknowledged privilege.
That's why, if you want to feel really smug, its important to have someone in your life who has all the same structural advantages but has made objectively worse choices.
For me....its my brother in law.

The attitude that your life is going smoothly already predicts whether you believe yourself to be lucky. My dad is a Holocaust Survivor and he says that his life has been a series of challenges that he has met and addressed successfully. The lucky person recognises opportunity and makes it work for them. Dad doesn’t see himself as a survivor but as a thriver. He doesn’t see life as smooth or bumpy, partly because his attitude and his self-belief effectively smooths out any bumps.

Peoples lives aren’t always smooth but if you’re thinking of jobs, money, home, family type of thing then yes, you need all three.
Theres no point in setbacks making people think everything’s ruined and all hope is lost. A positive mindset will help to get back up again, hard work will help you to keep going and luck could be involved in health and opportunities, although some hard work there is probably useful.

My life has run smoothly to date and most of it is sheer luck. I have a lot of privilege that I didn’t earn (not a millionaire or anything, just good health, stable family life, enough money etc). And I’ve been lucky enough not to be struck by any major tragedy.

I am someone who plans their big life decisions based on logic not just emotion though. I’m wouldn’t keep an unplanned pregnancy, choose a partner solely based on love, chase dreams without a backup plan etc. I do believe it has lead to ending up in a “luckier” position and having had a smoother life path than peers who had the same starting privileges. But people who tend towards the other attribute would probably think it was dull and boring 🤷‍♀️

Positive mindset. I've had lots of shit thrown my way and I feel like I've got through it with grit and determination as well as focusing on all the good stuff. My main issue at the moment is my dad has an aggressive form of cancer and there's nothing I can do, but I'm grateful for everything I do have and I try to spend lots of time with him. Of course it feels shit sometimes but I think I have fantastic life, good health, a beautiful daughter and the best dog in the world 💗

You can make your own luck.

We joke that DP has a curse on her, because every time she suggests a day out, something goes wrong. The place will be closed, or it'll piss down, or it'll just generally be a bit shit. On the other hand, every day out I suggest goes swimmingly.

There is no curse. It's just that I plan everything to within an inch of its life whereas DP is very very spontaneous. I've checked the traffic, the opening hours, the directions, the weather, what car parking app I need, the reviews, and a billion other things, whereas DP turns up and is stumped because the idea of a cafe that doesn't open on a Monday just didn't occur to her.

There's also the fact that positive people are far more likely to feel like an experience is positive. It's not the energy you're putting out, it's the way you see the experience coming in.

We had a holiday recently, that if I was to be brutally honest, wasn't that fantastic. But when people asked me about it, I said that the weather was great for most of the week, the beach was great, we ate at some lovely restaurants, and went to an awesome water park.

My Dad came with us, he'll have told people that it pissed down for three days, the hotel was tired and a bit grubby, some of the other guests were arseholes, one of the restaurants gave us the shits, and the flight coming home was delayed for four hours.

Both of those accounts would be entirely true. But to me, those blips didn't ruin a great holiday which I very much enjoyed. Whereas for him, he struggled to enjoy a holiday that was generally a bit shit.

Same experience, different enjoyment based on our personalities and outlooks on life.

I think it comes down to the definition of what you think life going smoothly means. I think mine goes very smoothly but another person might wonder why I don't want a bigger house or a better car or a job with more career progression. I'm content with what I have now. I am not at all impulsive and have often agonised over decisions. I don't feel my instincts are very strong so I rely on logic. This has made me risk averse and this helps. I never quit a good job to go travelling because my friends were going, or moved in with a man I knew 3 months because I was madly in love. Life can throw us curveballs but avoiding certain risky scenarios certainly helps reduce risks. I never had a pregnancy scare because I always had 2 contraceptions, for example. I never got into debt because I always saved and avoided loans other than a mortgage. I did lots of things when I was young including some travelling, lots of clubbing and socialising and I wasn't afraid of living a full life, but I lived it with a lot of planning and risk assessment.

In relation to the weather analogy OP, I don't care that much about weather. I don't get upset when it rains mostly and I am as content with a cloudy day as a sunny one. I also am not that fussy about food and restaurants. I could have a lovely day out somewhere and say it was great but someone else will say it was raining and the steak wasn't great and there was traffic etc.

I was lucky to go to a very good grammar school despite being from a free school meals family.That compensated for an abusive father and got me to university in the days when only 10% could attend.

From there, hard work, a refusal to get into debt, living in a dangerously squalid bedsit so I could save a deposit, and then buying and doing up properties myself, one after another. Having very little time for social life as a result.
Then at 30, taking an international job that paid very well but made it impossible to have an intimate relationship because I was never in one place long enough. I did that job for a decade to pay off a large chunk of mortgage.

I came home at 40 to look for a relationship and have a child, which I managed by 45.

Thankfully did not marry ds' dad who proved to be a bit of a fantasist. We separated when ds was 2 and I returned to work full time plus had 100% care of ds.
Put ds through independent school from 11 and am about to see him off to university, at which point I'll retire.

My ds has had a lovely home, a decent childhood, never been excluded from anything through poverty and will not have to scrape through uni on a pittance. He is happy, kind, decent, hard working, confident. I am so proud of him.

I've managed due to a combination of luck, an outstanding and supportive school, hard work, focus and retaining my financial independence and career. Spotting bullshit from men from the earliest moment and not accepting it.

Everything is luck

You're lucky if you're born with a brain that works and allows you to work hard and feel positively

Nothing we do reflects some amazing earned talent - it's all luck

Isn’t mindset incredible and the responses above show that.

my secret is being grateful.

Like others I think being very thoughtful on life’s big decisions also matters -

1. who I had children with (the most important decision I believe I have ever made)
2. living within my financial means etc

Certainly we all need luck (being born in a Western country where education and healthcare are free at the point of delivery for a start) but then there are those who dedicate time and effort, and there are those who don't.

It is not all luck.

A positive mindset definitely helps you perceive the world in a way where you think that everything is going your way...even if it maybe isn't. I don't think a positive mindset can actually change the weather though.

I think someone with a positive mindset will come back from a holiday where they had five days of sun and two of rain and say (and truly believe) the weather was great and they had a good time. Whereas a negative nelly would come back from the same holiday full of woe that the rain ruined their experience.

Definitely a positive mindset, which allows some people to see past the doom-laden news to look for opportunity and the chance of a good future.

Luck. Starting with being born with privilege. Everything flowed from that.

Being able to dedicate time is luck

You don't have brain damage or depression
You don't have to care for someone with brain damage or depression
You weren't raised by someone who socially conditioned you against certain things
You don't have to think about where your next meal is coming from
You're incurious and happy to praise yourself for making choices unavailable to others

Lucky lucky you

On the contrary, I was raised by a man who did not believe in the education of women and spent 15 years telling me I was useless. He did everything he could to stop me gaining qualifications. I was kicked out at 15 and spent 8 weeks not knowing where my next meal was coming from. You see, you don't know anything about me.

But I agree I was born without brain damage and I was able to make choices.

I am sorry if you have to support someone who is facing those challenges. Life is never fair. ❤