Is there some all-inclusive social etiquette I seem to have missed?

[packingcubes]

Just curious really…

I’ve just got back from holiday and all the reviews and Facebook groups absolutely RAVE about the animation team- how friendly they are, how inclusive they are and how they chat with everyone, they are the second family etc.

Meanwhile, I got asked once if I wanted to do aqua aerobics and once if I wanted to buy a kids T-shirt… and that was it. I kept seeing them sitting and chatting with other guests very regularly, hugging there children etc so I started wondering if there’s some kind of secret all inclusive social code that I completely missed. Even my kids were pretty much ignored (although they couldn’t care less or even notice)

I’m genuinely not annoyed, just a bit baffled because I’m friendly and chatty and was by myself too with the children… yet I somehow seemed to be invisible.

It did have me wondering whether there’s some kind of all-inclusive etiquette I’ve somehow missed… or whether I just really am the least interesting person on the resort

I’m going to assume your dc didn’t attend the the kids club or get involved much with activities. The team will chat to the families they get to know that do

The animation/ entertainment team are paid to make guests feel good on holiday. They are also motivated by tips and making "friends" with guests can lead to bigger tips. A lot of their "hotel friends" tip well.

It is literally their job to make each guest's holiday feel good and they are generally quite good at reading people.

For some people that is been left the feck alone, a polite hello/ good morning/ good evening, unless they seek out the team. For others it's generally been left alone but don't mind some slight encouragement to do activities. For others it is feeling involved and friends with the entertainment team. Some people love been centre of attention and joining in with all the activities and will chose a hotel where there is lots of activities and entertainment. The entertainment team can usually pick these people out a mile off and in turn will greet them, talk to them, involve them in everything ect.

The team usually know a lot of the kids who do the kids clubs and activities and in turn the children at these clubs will know the adults and will generally approach them. They will know those children's names as they attended the activities so may say things like "great dancing tim" at the mini disco.

I have a friend who very much makes friends with the entertainment team and always thinks they are like family by the end of the holiday. They are very heavy users or the kids club and kids activities. They do not leave the hotel so are also heavy users of the adult activities and hotel bars. They are very good tippers and always tip for drinks/ activities.

I suppose it must be like animateur/animatrice in French. I have a vague recollection of that term from gap year job hunting in the 80s, but never heard of the English term because I’ve never been on that type of holiday I guess.

I sort of know what you mean, although I haven't got kids so not specific to the animation team. But I always feel I must give off weird vibes, as every time I holiday abroad, I'm always left alone by the hotel team too, despite numerous reports of how friendly and inviting they are. It can be quite upsetting actually that despite my smiles and greetings, I'm often ignored! you do end up feeling like a bit of a social pariah. One holiday was utterly ruined when the staff wouldn't even make eye contact and would greet every other guest, bar me. It was picked up on by other guests too, so it wasn't me being overly sensitive.

We've only been to an AI once with the kids in Tunisia. Kids were 2 and 3 I think and we did the kiddies disco every night and 3 year old (almost 4) had an hour in the kids clip a couple of times.
Also we needed a little more assistance with buggy, highchair ect so staff were helpful with that. The kids were at a super cute age and could say a little "bonjour" to the cleaning ladies who would pick them up and cuddle them 🥰 and they also charmed many dining hall staff!

We went to one particular hotel which to be fair was lovely but it was like a cult with some guests who go there two or three times a year. Myself and DH couldn’t get our heads around it. The animation staff were excellent and my two DDs loved the whole set up. DS on the other hand was horrified by it all lol. It was our first proper abroad sun holiday since Covid so I think around 2023 and the kids club was on three times per day . Youngest DD who had just turned 4 probably got the brunt of Covid as she was only turning one when it started had spent her early years not socialising as much as I would have with my other dc due to everything being cancelled (and where I am a lot of groups were late to get restarted) so now she is the most social of my three. If we happened to be at the hotel she attended The club three times a day. I’ll never forget how blissful it was. Sometimes her older sister went as well. So while they are annoying at times I’ll never forget how grateful I was to the animation team that year. So we were one of those families who’s children participated in almost everything so they’d always give us a wave or stop at our sunbeds when we saw them. However lovely as it was the Facebook group was mental with people obsessed with the hotel. I mean I get it with younger children as to be fair the kids club set up was great if that’s what your own children like but for those without children why would you keep coming back year after year. Also I remember they were all horrified after hearing that a particular barman was no longer at the hotel. They were almost demanding to know the man’s whereabouts. They couldn’t get their heads around the fact he was living his life and went to work elsewhere.

The staff pretend to be charmed, sorry.

This. Some people wherever they go on holiday love all the making friends with staff or repsin hotels, restaurants, bars etc. They then add them on social media and tag their new ‘friends’. When in reality the staff are doing a job and making them feel comfortable so they’ll return/have a fab holiday/tip well.

I think there's a lot of space between "the staff are really my BFF and want to adopt my children " and "the staff only speak to you because they're paid to". The type of people who take these front of house "entertainment and activities" jobs tend to be very "people people" who genuinely enjoy interacting and chatting to different people. So yes, it's their job and if they weren't being paid, they wouldn't be there but that isn't to say they dont enjoy doing a people facing job. It's not exactly easy money so if they hated it I imagine they'd do something else.

If I was on such a holiday I would be doing my utmost to give off leave me alone vibes!