If you are good at hosting barbecues, what’s your secret?

[MouldEight]

I like hosting for people and I’ve got a built in brick barbecue so feel I should use it. But I’m just not good at it. I struggle to get the timings right for the barbecue whilst trying to be a good host to everyone.

If you are one of these people who hosts barbecues looking lovely and put together whilst serving up lovely tasting food which is all timed right, what’s your secret? All advice appreciated.

DH cooks the barbecue. I do the chatting. Friends help themselves to drinks as that's how we roll so no one is really needed to 'host'. Food tends to come out in batches. It is relaxed. Oh and I always buy what seems like far too much food (but it isn't really!)

Teamwork. You need different people cooking, sorting sides, drinks etc.

If the food requires cutlery, you need to make sure there is plentiful clean stuff.

Do you ask your guests to do this?

It’s just going to be hosting so I would struggle with this unless I asked the people I invited. I’m sure they wouldn’t be opposed but I would like it to seem smooth and so they didn’t need to do any work.

They will help themselves to drinks but it’s just me hosting the barbecue, so I feel like I should be chatting at least some of the time, but then also be on the barbecue and be sorting everything else (sides etc).

I was meaning more between the people hosting rather than guests... but often clise friends do happily pitch in.

Ah I see. Yes, it would be easier if I had another couple of people hosting, but it’ll just be me.

Lots of sides and nibbles to help yourself to, along with drinks.

Do all the food in stages and put them out for people to grab, so a load of so first burgers, then sausages, finally kebabs. (or whatever takes your fancy)

As a host I tell everyone they can help me by helping themselves.

I never do sausages / burgers / bits of chicken. I tend to do a joint of meat - brisket if I can be bothered which isn’t often, butterflied leg of lamb, beer can chickens, char Sui pork, porchetta, salmon chicken doner, chicken tikka etc. I have a smaller bbq if I need a veggie option / stuffed mushrooms, asparagus, corn, stuffed peppers for example. So much easier.

Drinks accessible in ice buckets/buckets of cold water, bowls of crunchy snacks dotted about, as much as possible pre made (rolls sliced, salad and back up salad made, crudités chopped, sauces out on table)
DH runs the bbq and some people stand around and chat to him, I waft about refilling snacks, drinks, salad bowls etc and chat to people while I’m doing it. We have patio doors to the dining room so we use the space inside for buffet type stuff to free up outside space for people to sit and eat. No one other than me and DH are allowed in the kitchen because we set it up so everything is grabbable and helpful’ guests move things!
Depending on number of people we will also use paper plates - we hosted 40 people last summer and we don’t own enough crockery to have used proper ones!

We have a ‘proper’ barbecue (it not gas) but I have no idea as I can’t cook to save my life. My husband does it all. He makes all of the sides in advance, there seems to be some sort of system with the various meats, and cooked things go into a big oven tray with foil while other things are cooking.

It's called delegation ; ask the friend you're closest to to manage drinks, sides and chat. That's my job while dh does barbecue. And before anyone says sexist divide; I'm a vegetarian and wouldn't want to cook the meat.

I assign the cooking to my son. I’ve prepared all the salads and cold foods, and marinated the meats etc. It is hard if you are cooking different things but if you get, say, all the burgers done while the kebabs are cooking people have something to start with. Everything else is already on the table ready to go.

Prep all sides in advance.

We have a giant tin bath that we fill with ice and chuck drinks in there so people can help themselves.
Have a table with sauces, napkins, cutlery, glasses/paper cups away from the BBQ so people can go back and forth as needed.

Get your phone hooked up to a Bluetooth speaker and have a few playlists ready.

Set out plenty of chairs and if you have anything you can use as side tables, set them out too so people have places to put plates/drinks.

You can always pre cook some basics (sausages/chicken skewers) and have them ready when people arrive.

Once everything is prepped and set up, shower and get yourself ready. Come down, get a drink and start cooking the first (or second) batch of food.

When it’s done, circulate a bit, chat, put batch 2 on, chat more, once it’s done, do the same. I’d try and limit it to 3 batches of food max - then announce food is all cooked, get yourself a plate, chat, socialise etc.

Put food waste and a bin ready so you can bin things outside (seems mad to carry it inside, bin and carry the waste back outside).

Have a clear worktop space you can pile up the empty plates (or use paper and put them straight in the bin) and sauces etc. Leave all clearing until everyone’s gone home - just bring stuff in and walk back out with puddings/something sweet.

Finally, relax! Unless your friends are particularly picky no one will care if there’s a wait for food or things don’t run smoothly (in our house generally DH does the bbq but inevitably he’ll get distracted and one of our friends will take over, the drinks run out and people end up going inside to help themselves etc).

You need to prep beforehand. Marinate the meat a few hours earlier and get itbin the fridge. Make some salads etc a couple of hours before amd shove them in the fridge. Have a plate of bread rolls /hot dog finger rolls ready cut and covered in cling film.

You do as much work as you can vefore guests arrive, ideally.

Thanks everyone! I do appreciate everyone’s advice.

I’ve had a few barbecues in the past and, whilst I think they’ve been enjoyed, it’s never felt as smooth as I’d like. I always feel like I’m harassed and stressed with the food aflame, having barely finished my make up when the door goes, and I want to be wafting about calm and glamorous with the barbecue running like a well oiled machine.

What I normally do is prepare the salads, potato salad, chicken drumsticks and coleslaw beforehand. I also have a cheeseboard, charcuterie and crisps and dips set out for people arriving. I have the halloumi cut and read to go and only buy the pre sliced buns.

But somehow it just doesn’t work. I do put some meat in the oven - usually anything I’m wary of not cooking properly on the barbecue, so any chicken kebabs and sausages, then on the barbecue I do burgers, halloumi, steak and I put foil wrapped potatoes on the coals.

Everything should run smoothly but it just goes tits up.

Do you wait for all three batches to be done?

Also, how long after the ‘start’ time do you start barbecuing?

I think hosting a bbq is not a one person job. We have loads of them (gas bbq though) but it’s my husband on the bbq and not proper ‘hosting’ as such - I wrangle kids and sort cutlery and clean up spills but our friends grab their own drinks (and often bring them too) and find their own dishes if needed etc. I think you either need to lower standards or get more help. It’s inherently difficult to do while hosting in the traditional sense as you can’t literally do both at once.

You can't be both wafting about and also doing the actual barbecuing. I think it's a very tough type of hosting to do alone because you can do lots of prep beforehand but the actual cooking needs to be done during the party and isn't something you can just stick on and leave for long periods of time. I personally would either enlist someone to do the barbecue (loads of people would be happy to do this!) or only have few enough people there that you can do all the barbecued food in one go. If neither seems a goer I'd choose an option other than a barbecue.

I agree with the pp - a bbq is a difficult thing to host single handedly. I wouldn’t choose a bbq as my food of choice as I am also a sole host.

My friends happily help themselves to drinks, that’s no issue. It’s more than I feel that I’m neglecting them conversationally standing at the barbecue.

The last few times I’ve put out cooked gammon and chicken rather than barbecue because it’s such a pain, but people enjoy the atmosphere of the cooking and the smell of the barbecue, and it does seem a waste to have one and not use it. Maybe I just have to sacrifice the conversation for a while and keep the actual food done on the barbecue to a minimum. Or maybe do everything on the barbecue and not put anything in the oven so I’m not being split between them.

My DS is chef. DH goes around topping up glasses and I mingle. We prep well ahead, have a wide variety of food including vegetarian food cooked on separate BBQ and plenty and choose of alcohol. Also cut grass, make sure garden looks at its best and enough seats so anyone who wants to can sit.

Yep, it sounds like the thing I’m missing is a willing DH.

Set everything up in advance. Tables, chairs, plates, cutlery, etc. Make plenty of salads and other sides, cover and have ready.

The person doing the cooking needs to concentrate fully on that. You can’t cook and host.

I buy decent meat for the BBQ. We never do sausages and burgers. We like lamb chops, pork chops and sirloin steaks from a farm shop.

Hmm, sorry but if people are complaining and want to ‘enjoy the cooking’ then they are welcome to host a BBQ at their own house.

You’re on your own, so a BBQ is actually very difficult to do whilst staying calm and relaxed and chatting to your guests at the same time. Put out some pre cooked gammon, a pile of potato salad or other nice salad bits and enjoy chatting to your friends.