It’s my mums funeral tomorrow

[Sameoldsameold78]

And I still just can’t believe she’s gone, I keep thinking about the cremation and the horrible reality of that. Also my poor Dad is utterly bereft.

So sorry to read this. Losing a parent is dreadful. The funeral and cremation do feel final. You'll always have your memories of your mum and it might help both you and your dad to talk about nice things you remember doing together.

I’m really sorry for your loss. Grief is a strange and horrible world but the only way to respond to it is to go through it. You are probably dreading the funeral tomorrow but it might well bring you comfort. I hope it does. I’ll be thinking about you.

Thank you I am dreading it although the planning and organising of it has provided a good distraction, just feel so sad for my dad all by himself. They were married for over 50 years. Just feel I have absolutely no clue how to navigate this and can’t comprehend I will never see her again.

I was sad to hear of your Mum's funeral. I hope you and your Dad can find grieving together helps. It is such a sad time for you, your family and friends .Celebrate her life tomorrow. Best wishes indeed.

So sorry for your loss x

Sorry for your loss, sending you strength at this difficult time 💐

I am so sorry for your loss. Whenever I have lost someone I have found that the ritual of a funeral actually really helped and that I was very much in limbo before that, even if I threw myself into arranging the logistics and practicalities. Other people validate your grief, help you remember lovely memories that you had forgotten, make you feel proud when you see how many other people cared deeply for her. I think my best advice would be not to look too far into the future because all you see is the void she has left, it's one step at a time territory. Grief is so difficult because it's basically love that doesn't have anywhere to go and it comes in waves... but you will get through it. Sending love.

Thank you she knew she was dying so had a big party a few weeks ago so the funeral is going to be very small.
shame in some ways as I had friends who would have come to her funeral to support me but I’m glad she had her party.

Handhold. Tomorrow will be hard. You just have to get through it, as best you can.
Don’t worry about showing emotion/crying your eyes out. On the other hand, don’t worry if you go into robotic mode and don’t show any emotion. There aren’t any rules.
Sending hugs to you and your Dad.

My lovely Mum died a few months ago. In my experience the organising of the funeral with everyone’s raw grief and opposing ideas was the saddest part of Mum’s death. Once the day arrived I felt like a wreck but strangely it went without a hitch and was quite comforting. On the actual day the family came together in our grief, just as we had the day she died and it was quite beautiful in a strange way. I hope your DM’s funeral brings you comfort and peace to say Goodbye.

My sympathies OP.
My parents died within the same year and tbh it felt very surreal, a lot of the time. Their funerals really helped, it was lovely to hear stories and memories about them, especially from people who knew them separately from just being my parents. It was very comforting to see them as their own person, made me love them more and kind of diluted my grief. If that makes any sense.
I'll be thinking of you tomorrow and hope you are your Dad find some comfort from the day.

So sorry for your loss op, losing a parent is awful

Lost my mum end of June and I'm still in uffer disbelief and denial that she's really gone. Just can't wrap my head around it at all, just doesn't feel real and not sure it ever will

I hope tomorrow brings you and your dad comfort and peace 💐

Aw bless you OP. I was always closer to my dad than my mum. He died very unexpectedly, and I remember dreading his funeral, which I had to arrange whilst supporting my mum who was bereft. But we got through it. And you my love will get through tomorrow, one step at a time. Lean on others. I kept telling myself that he wasn’t there (at the service) he was in the bookies, or the pub, or walking along the beach with me, or watching his favourite team play. I wore his gold ring, which I still wear today, and he was with me, in my heart where he remains until I join him.

Your mum is part of you, and will always be. Nothing can separate you. Bless you 💐

Thank you, you have all given me renewed strength when I was struggling x

Oh OP, it is so awful losing a parent but also seeing the other one absolutely bereft in their grief. Thoughts with you all tomorrow 💐

Oh sweetheart. If it helps - might do, might not! - when my aunt and uncle died it was truly tragic, I won't go into the details as this isn't about me, but we had to have a double funeral, goodness me it was hard. Two family members didn't even go because it was too much for them - my aunt's mother (my nana) and her daughter (my cousin) they both stayed at the house and couldn't make themselves go the church, god was it grim.

Then after the ceremony we all went back to the house, started passing round the sandwiches etc. It was so quiet... until another uncle thought he would break the mood... and started singing 'We Are Family' but in a Donald Duck voice...

Wine literally came out of my nose it was so silly and unexpected but it broke the tension! Whenever I think back to that sad day, I think about Dennis being daft, having to hide behind a curtain to wipe my nose (!) and how just that little action really lifted things. Even when life feels so incredibly hard, a bit of silliness or levity can really help. So in the hardest moments of tomorrow, my advice would be to hold on to a really lovely, happy memory of your brilliant mum. You'll get through it, just one step at a time.

Sorry for your loss my mum died about 18 months ago
I wss dreading the funeral but it wasent as bad as i thought it would be
Greif is strange thing and i didnt cry for about six months i think i was numb
I hope it goes as well is it can go.

Ah, I am so sorry for your loss OP. It will be hard but hopefully bring some comfort to see some of the people who come.
Grief is very hard, perhaps Cruse bereavement or other bereavement counselling services may help. I believe you may have to wait six months before accessing counselling.

Sorry for your loss and wishing you strength to get through what you need to xx

I am so sorry for your loss. Losing my Mum was so painful and the worst part for me was seeing my Dad navigating his life without her. So I totally understand your pain.

I remember thinking, the day before her funeral, that this won't be the worst day, as we had already had that - her diagnosis day and the day she died. I don't know if that thinking may help you? Take the day as it is, remember her and all that she meant to you. After that, just take each day as it comes.

It may be worth your Dad (and you of course) reaching out for some counselling from CRUSE bereavement support when you feel ready, they were very supportive and a lifeline for my Dad.

Sending love and strength to you and your family 💐

It's really tough. So sorry for your loss of your lovely mum.

The dread of it is sometimes worse than the day itself. (My mum died three or four years ago now. )

I'm really sorry and I hope the funeral goes perfectly.

Send all the love and support in the world. One of the worst things you'll go through. So sorry for your lose ❤️❤️

If it’s any comfort, my job means I have behind the scenes crematoria knowledge. This experience has made me think cremation is the way I want to go. It’s so nicely done, and there’s no thinking about your loved ones in a cold, watery grave. Which is what I did when my parents were buried.

Are you a reader? I’ve just finished Joan Didion’s book, The Year of Magical Thinking. It’s a very moving account of the near impossibility of accepting a loved one’s death. Sometimes it helps to witness someone put words to what we are feeling.