It’s my mums funeral tomorrow

[Sameoldsameold78]

And I still just can’t believe she’s gone, I keep thinking about the cremation and the horrible reality of that. Also my poor Dad is utterly bereft.

Thank you I am a reader, so was my mum, I will look for it, thank you. I’m fortunate in that I’m accessing free counselling through work.

She sounds like a great woman, I love her attitude of having a party while she's still here. How brave and fun!

The only thing I would say is don't be afraid of asking your friends for help over the next few weeks or months. If they are good enough friends to have come to the funeral if it had been a bigger one they'll be wanting to help however they can.

Same with work, cleaning the house, or anything else. It's fine to take things easy and be kind to yourself for as long as you need. Everyone reacts differently so don't feel guilty for how grief affects you - if it helps to keep busy, do that, if seeing friends and getting out and about is a good distraction, don't feel bad, if you don't have the energy for anything other than lying on the sofa watching crap tv that's okay too.

Good luck for tomorrow OP, will be thinking of you ❤️

Thank you x
she was great, she loved planning her party and it was a lovely day

I’m so sorry. No matter how old you are losing your mum can be devastating. I was fifty-four when my mum died and I felt like a lost child. 💐

I lost my dad very suddenly he was 46 (he had me when he was 20 so I was 26 when he died). Here one day gone the next… life felt so impossible then.. my mum herself a widow in her 40s… but here we close to 20 years later and we have all built lives around his loss and the huge gap he left.

I think I was in shock the entire funeral … there were so many people and it was so so so hard.

The loss of a parent is so traumatic …. All you can do is take it day by day… and stay close as a family. I don’t know what else to say.

Thank you

Good luck and God bless you.

I'm so sorry, OP.

Thank you I was relieved to get it over with but now I am struggling with the reality that she really has gone and I really will never ever see my mum again, my brain just can’t take that in. It was 3 weeks ago today she died.
I was reading some old WhatsApp messages last night and when she was in hospital (which was months) I asked on one occasion could I bring her anything, her reply was “just you”
she loved me so much and I feel utterly destroyed.
also the WhatsApp chat before we knew she was terminal were so hopeful.

Sorry for your loss, I lost my mum 27years ago. It took me 4yrs to feel better, I plodded through everyday cause I had to with an 8 and 4 yr old to look after. These times were tough, take everyday as it comes. Some days will be better than others, concentrate on the task you are doing at the time you are doing it

The messages from your mum will help you-through. Voice messages if you have any are very helpful too

💐🌹

I’m sorry for your loss OP.

I'm so sorry to hear this. It's one of the hardest things you have to do.
Try and use the funeral to remember all the lovely things about your mum. I stil remember my mum's funeral it was very personal to her and I even found myself smiling at times remembering her.

Thank you the funeral was on Tuesday, I wish I had voice notes but sadly don’t, I did record her voice a couple of times, haven’t listened to those yet.

You got through the day OP. Now it's just one day at a time and patience will be key. It's positive that you can access counselling through your work, do make the most of that if you feel able to.

It's a very strange reality when someone close dies - I had similar feelings when I lost my Mum to how you describe. It's real disbelief but that's a normal reaction and it's only 3 weeks so very, very early days for you. Sending you hugs.

I'm so sorry for your loss op. My own mums funeral was two weeks ago. We used to speak everyday and part of me thinks I still can. If something interesting/sad/happy/funny happens a part of me thinks ..I must tell mam that.
In a strange way the funeral was a comfort. Condolences to you and your dad ♥️

My mum died in September 2022. My sister and I were already in our late 60's.

We found comfort in thinking how lucky we were to have had her for so long but also in actively turning our thoughts to gratitude for her life, for her strengths as a woman and a mother and her loyalty to her children for all those years.

She was and is still very deeply missed but I believe that thankfulness helped us to recognise and deal with our grief which is, after all, a part of love.

Thank you

I would suggest to spend time thinking of all the lovely times you spent together, sorry you are facing such a sad time.