To think more and more people are just staying single?

[UseItOrLoseIt1984]

I'm almost 42 and spent the WHOLE of my 20s and over half of my 30s stressing and crying over not having found my person, it was all I ever wanted and I hated feeling like the only one left behind when everyone else seemed to be getting married, or getting engaged, or being in long term relationships or going from one short term fling to the next. The one thing I can say is I never wanted children so at least that pressure was off.

Fast forward to now after the last failure ended in 2021 and I'm genuinely content without a partner. I've built my own quiet and non dramatic life, I adore my solitude, I'm not bothered about sex anymore and I know deep down even if I did find someone right for me it would involve compromise, tolerance and effort that I just can't be arsed to make anymore. So that's that.

But I work with many people both male and female who are much younger than me, say mid 20s to early 30s and whilst some of them are in happy relationships most of them are single and seem to be content enough holidaying with their friends, studying and just doing things on their own including buying houses etc. Certainly none of them are getting married or having children any time soon. Most of my "mum" friends had children by the time they were in their mid 20s.

Also people my own age seem to be staying single now after going through divorces, both male and female. Again I'm not talking for everyone, there is still the odd person who does start a serious relationship in middle age.

Is it me or is single becoming the new thing?

It takes incredible strength and self-awareness to break free from societal expectations and realise that you are already complete exactly as you are.
Many people spend their entire lives trying to fit into a mould that was never meant for them. Often they feel broken or "less than" because their desires don't align with traditional paths.

Research from UCL found that women who are the first in their family to attend university are 40% more likely to be childless at age 46 compared to both non-graduates and women with university-educated parents. Apparently these women found something put about themselves through expanding their education and horizons.

I am sure that is part of it, but you also have to note a large amount of men don't like a woman to be obviously more intelligent or earn more than them. Or have their own homes etc. Men's ego is a huge dividing factor.

It is why more educated women of a certain age are becoming single mothers by choice.

Yeah it would be shit. Being alone is also shit. If I could reliably sign up for assisted dying I might feel differently but I can't.