Why are we so intolerant of neighbours

[willitevergetwarm]

DAILY MAIL - DO SOME REAL REPORTING AND LEAVE MY CHAT ALONE

Apart from the poor people who do actually have horrific neighbours why are so many people intolerant of neighbours using their gardens to entertain friends, listen to music, cook on a bbq?

Obviously all within reason and not until stupid o'clock at night

I've read some stories on here this past week and honestly I can't believe what I'm reading from no lingerie hanging out to a rota for using your garden

I genuinely don’t understand how people expect silence

Gardens are getting smaller, sound systems are pervasive, and people used to their online bubbles are becoming less tolerant and believe they are entitled to total silence (in which they believe they can make all the noise they like). I think a lot of people have zero self awareness that this works both ways, as well. But some people are also just twats.

I don't expect silence. But I should be able to hear my TV and should be able to sleep without being woken up at 1am because next door thinks it's acceptable to blast loud music

I have thought the same. It's crazy. I do understand how awful genuinely bad 'neighbours from hell' can be but people simply chatting or doing perfectly normal tasks have moaning neighbours over the fence writing MN posts about them. Why can't we live close together anymore?

Rise of ego over society / happening over the last 40 years

That's not what this OP is taking about. People have posted complaining about neighbours hanging their sexy undies out or chatting to their pals in their own garden.

Neighbours have always moaned about each other - it's just that SM have given people more of a platform on which to air their grievances! The moans were just different back then.

It has been crazy on here with the heat over the past few weeks. Reminds me of Covid times when a large majority of people seemed to lose any rational thought on reality.

There seems to be so much entitlement these days it is shocking.

We're territorial animals, essentially.

I can't believe anyone took the 'sexy undies' on the line thread seriously 😳

I mean really???

I don’t think anyone expects silence just some common courtesy. Yes I’ve seen some ridiculous posts on here about normal neighbour stuff but I do think people are generally more selfish and only think of themselves.

I think that perhaps the OP has not had the misfortune of living next door to inconsiderate neighbours. It can be quite life destroying. Most of us do not have the option of living in the middle of nowhere because we have to work, take children to school, etc.

as I have said before on these kind of threads, it’s part of a social contract that is increasingly being broken. For example came, it would be quite nice for me to sit in my tiny garden with my radio on. But am I going to do that? No - because that would be really annoying for all the neighbours around me. And if every single person did that, then it would be quite impossible to live where I do.

The way we live now is very different to 20/30 years ago and so the potential for detriment to neighbours is so much greater - garden bars, sound systems, etc.

Incidentally, my parents don’t live in the UK and where they are many local authorities have introduced quite strong rules around noise etc so that everyone can enjoy their homes and gardens.

I think it happens every summer since time began. We spend seven months locked in our houses, and then get a bit of a shock when we come outside.

Lack of consideration. If I'm on a quiet train, I always check that the noise isn't loud enough from my headphones that someone else could hear it. Some people are just brought up by savages.

I never hear my neighbours and hope they never hear us.

I blame social media. It's made every average dull person think they're a star. Just look at how so many behave, like they're the star of their own show. People live on the Internet and don't know how to function in real life anymore. It shows in daily life. You can see it. The art of interaction has gone.

As a kid in the 80s, all neighbours knew each other. The adults would bring each other meals, they'd knock and apologise if they were going to be doing any DIY etc.

I have a very noisy neighbour. She's an alcoholic and blasts music all day and night as she doesn't work. When sport is on, you can hear her screaming and shouting every time there's a goal or whatever. When she cooks she makes such a loud racket, banging and crashing pans and cutlery.

I also don't expect or even want silence. I like the quiet hum of kids playing normally (not screaming) and I love light chatter. Just, everyone bellows these days.

We have neighbours from Hell, I’d love some of the ones who simply have BBQs or play games with their children! I could tell stories that would make people’s jaws drop.
I genuinely think though that tolerance for a lot of things has dropped. In some ways this is good but in many ways it means that if people exist in our proximity we can’t cope anymore.

Absolutely this.
I don’t mind listening to children playing in their gardens but it makes it impossible for me to sit outside when the three ferals next door are arguing and screaming for hours on end. Oh and then the dog starts to join in. If my children had done that when they were younger, they’d have been given a warning to keep the noise down or they’ll have to come in. The parents next door, just let them do it as long as they’re not under their feet.
A woman a couple of doors down, used to have her music blaring in the garden - buy some bloody headphones woman!
It’s selfish and inconsiderate.

I wouldn't play music in the garden. I live in a row of terraces and I wouldn't expect to inflict my music tastes on everyone else. Thankfully my neighbours don't either. I guess some people are brought up to do what they want and not think of others. Spoilt brats in other words.

It’s not spoilt to want to listen to music in your own garden.

It is to inflict it on others who might not enjoy it.

So what? I’m not going to sit in silence because my neighbour is so entitled to think they dictate what I do in my own home.

If everyone in my row of terraces played music in their garden it would sound like a right racket. Why not use headphones? Glad I've got considerate neighbours

Listening to music at a volume others can hear is anti social behaviour. No one likes to hear it in passing cars. No one wants to hear it in a garden.

Exactly. "So what! I'll do what I want! I don't care if others don't like it. I don't care etc" Spoilt!