Do you force your teenager

[ItsLightheartedHonest]

To eat food they don't like for their evening meal?
For example, if you are having a relatively unhealthy evening meal such as sausage, chips and beans and you know your teen hates sausage do you serve it to them and expect them to eat it or would you replace the sausage with something equally unhealthy like chicken nuggets etc?
Said teenager is not overweight, and generally eats plenty of fruit and vegetables.

Because they are ultra processed foods?

I cook for both of us. I don't cook food that ds won't eat. I have a repertoire that includes his favourites and mine.

I couldn't force him even if I wanted to. He's 6'2" and perfectly capable of ordering a takeaway. But I wouldn't want to anyway. I wouldn't enjoy it, why would I do that to him?

On fruit & veggies, I'll add new foods to his plate, sometimes he eats them, sometimes he doesn't. I offer him the opportunity to eat them.

If I know someone in the family genuinely doesn't like something then I wouldn’t serve it to them. Why would you?

No I don't make my kids eat something they don't like. because I don't eat things I don't like. I either swap something like in OPs example or they cook something else. DD1 is rarely in when we eat and just cooks for herself or most of the time eats at her boyfriends house. DD2 eats mostly what we have. DS is only 6 but pretty much eats everything we do too.

No, I don't force, they can make themselves something else, just like I can when they're cooking, but we try to be considerate of everyone when we're cooking for the family.

With my teenagers, we rotate cooking and we've all learned how to balance around everyone's food/texture issues and preferences. On Fridays we all cook for ourselves so we don't need to worry about anyone else's food preferences.

Ive never done that at any age. Why would you force anyone, a teen or a toddler, to eat something they don’t like? I hate when parents do that just give them something they like to eat and don’t be controlling

Pffftt... I was pleased if they turned up quicky when called and didn't squabble with each other during the meal. We only put things on their plates that we knew they would eat.

I did make my toddlers learn to eat veg except the youngest who then turned out to be super fussy, defeated me, now as adult eats everything but fruit which he regards as Evil. Spent years barely eating any veg when small, though.

I never cook food that anyone doesn’t like - why would I do that? Eating together is meant to be enjoyable not a punishment. My kids were encouraged to try food and generally liked enough kinds of food for us to share an evening meal without drama.

They were Bush tucker trials for me!
I can't adequately describe the stew, the meat was extremely tough, the veg was slop and the gravy was as thin as water! Made with love but tasted god awful.
I actually think being forced to eat food I didn't like has made me fussier as an adult, if I don't like the look/smell if something I won't try it. If we are out for a meal I only order things I know I like. It created a fear of trying food I think in case I have to eat it all.

And that works for you, we have plenty of meals we all like so we tend to have them. I have said we will sometimes have a spicy curry and I will do DS something else. I am not going to get him to keep trying spice when he doesn't like it. If he wants to try it he can

Because if you are cooking on a daily basis for 6 people, each with their own preferences and dislikes, and you don't happen to be a restaurant, it is likely you will sometimes cook meals that one or another of them aren't keen on.

I think EVERYONE replying agrees if you have a teen and they have got to that age, never liking one specific thing, then of course you don't serve it to them and try and make them eat it.

What some posters are pointing out is it is more nuanced than that. Some people have dc who suddenly decide they "hate" something this week that they were fine with last week. Some people are out at work all day, and have dc going out to activities in the evening, are on a budget and maybe even have limited enthusiasm for cooking or skills at cooking. It isn't easy to rustle up 6 different meals each night in any of those circumstances.

Many parents realise that dc are not beyond saying they 'hate' something when what they actually mean is 'they'd rather have something else'.

I didn’t have that battle over food - my kids just wouldn’t have used dinner as a battle ground. If my kids had friends over I cooked the food that their friends would eat - we always ate together. Dd wouldn’t eat courgette or mushrooms- I just didn’t cook with them. It wasn’t hard.

No I wouldn’t in that example. I have mid teens and in that scenario I’d give them an alternative

God no. Absolutely not. Was forced to eat food I didn't like or had gone off and that shit stops right there.

No I don’t give them what they don’t like, however there’s times when they complain because they didn’t fancy something… they either eat it or make themselves something else ☺️

I think a lot of people here are assuming their teen's tastes are now fixed for life. From my own experience, and that of my teenage DS, I know this isn't true.

I also don't believe in cutting out foods one member of the family doesn't like. The rest of us shouldn't have to never eat them! If we did that we'd never eat potatoes or rice which would be pretty limiting.

Absolutely not! Food will never be something we battle over. I witnessed an (ex) friend force her young daughter to eat her dinner years ago, at my house, and it was traumatising for all involved. I remember family friends doing similar to their children when I was a child. Dreadful. Our teens have a great relationship with food, long may it continue. It's all pretty relaxed here. We obviously model good eating habits, but there is no stress around food, ever. We are a household of neurodivergents each with our own preferences.

From my own experience, some tastes will be fixed and some will not, also some things that I used to really like, I now cannot even stand the smell of (offal, used to love the stuff until menopause).
Of course most families won't need or choose to avoid a food that one member doesn't like but if you lived with me you'd have to cook and eat your offal elsewhere!

If only it were that simple for people with ARFID (which, incidentally is often linked to ND) or other eating disorders. Or indeed people who suffer from phobias of any kind, or have an extreme physical or psychological aversion to something.

No, I didn't come to 'like some foods by trying them'. It was more of a case of gradually learning to be able to tolerate them in very small doses over a long period of time. And by a long period of time, I don't mean a few days or weeks, I mean decades. I'm now in my 60's and can tolerate most things now. But there are still some foods I can't eat without heaving. So I just don't eat them.

I can only speak for myself but actually it was like that. If its the smell of a food that you don't like then there may come a point where you smell it and think that it smells ok. Of course it can go the other way and something that you thought smelled appetising now does not. I also remembered the taste of foods that I didn't like and what I didn't like about them so yes it is sometimes a case of thinking "I didn't like X but now I fancy trying it again"
The other thing to say is that within the parameters of eating a healthy(ish) diet
IT DOESN"T MATTER
Some people on here seem to have this absolute thing about everybody needing to enjoy a wide spectrum of foods and flavours....newsflash no you don't. I have always disliked most green vegetables, and as I have got older have become unable to digest more of the ones that I do like/tolerate. And yet here I am....in my 70's, active and healthy.

I know that my teen’s tastes aren’t fixed. My two adult children have shown me that.
However by the time they get to a teenagers (actually way before then) I feel mine eat a wide enough range of foods for mealtimes, restaurants and eating elsewhere not to be limiting so am happy to cater for dislikes and they are old enough to say “can I try the …..” if they fancy it.

No, i have 6 dc. I have never forced any of them to eat food they dislike.

What a horrible thing to do.

No. Why make them food they don’t like? And force them? And why replace it with something like chicken nuggets? A burger is just as easy to cook alongside sausage, or a chicken breast. I wouldn’t do that to a kid no matter what their age.

Ds doesn't like boiled potatoes - we never have them when he is eating with us. I don't like fish - we don't eat it. DD used to to hate courgettes & cream - now they are fine. Dh has a thing about Burrata and a nut allergy.
I don't believe in making dinner that someone doesn't enjoy - we have plenty of opportunities to eat the things we like, we eat out frequently and we have a broad range of likes, there's so many food options that we never feel restricted. Eating is a pleasure in our house, we all take turns cooking, we don't leave people out and we don't force people to eat food they don't enjoy. Our kids were encouraged to try new foods and their likes and dislikes were respected.

Nope, he’s 15 and eats a reasonably healthy diet usually so if he doesn’t want something for tea that I am cooking he will make himself an alternative. Only rule is that he is in charge of cooking it and cleaning up after it in its entirety. I’ll try and encourage him towards the healthier options in the fridge of course!