Do you force your teenager

[ItsLightheartedHonest]

To eat food they don't like for their evening meal?
For example, if you are having a relatively unhealthy evening meal such as sausage, chips and beans and you know your teen hates sausage do you serve it to them and expect them to eat it or would you replace the sausage with something equally unhealthy like chicken nuggets etc?
Said teenager is not overweight, and generally eats plenty of fruit and vegetables.

Have never made anyone eat anything.

Toast and fruit always an option.

No, I wouldn’t do that to anyone of any age. Sometimes we might have things that they don’t love but they just eat what they want of it and if they want cereal/toast/fruit later then it is always there.
I grew up with a lot of issues around food and my parents did try the sit at the table until you eat it/there’s nothing else thing as was the norm in those times but it didn’t work. I have always tried to be relaxed around food with my kids although at times it has been hard given my own issues.

Liver, tripe and beef stew are normal meals to me even now though I know I'm in the minority, they would have been average fodder years ago.
And as for beef stew, it has to be cooked for ages otherwise it would be tough.

I do get you didn't like them but you make them sound like bush tucker trials.

Edited to add. Tripe is very difficult to get now so I haven't had it for ages.

I have shears encouraged to try new foods but I’d never force it.

If I knew my child didn’t like something then I wouldn’t make it for them.

Forcing them will make them hate it more.

Were you poor growing up?

Never. I couldn't as DS2 had ARFID so even a mouthful of something he didn;t want to eat would make him projectile vomit.

But even if there was no sensory issue, why would anyone do this? How would we feel if someone insisted we ate food that we found revolting? It's abusive.

I would sometimes say: we are having this for dinner. You hate it, so you can have... then offer very simple food like filled pasta with pesto and salad, or bread, cheese, fruit and nuts.

As a child I often made myself sick at other people’s houses because I was too scared to say I didn’t like the food. There are certain foods my body will not swallow even if my brain really wants it to!
I’d never want anyone to feel they had to do that at my house.
If someone asked me now I’m an adult if I’d like sausage, chips and beans I’d say “I’ll just have the chips thank you” if they served me a plate of it I’d just eat the chips and might give the sausage a go if it was really well done. I’d never say yuck and ask for something else. I’ve encouraged my children to do the same, they’ve all had good reports from other parents about their good manners so I think they’ve been ok.

Tripe is a bush tucker trial to me. Even reading about eating it is making my stomach muscles react like they do before you throw up.

I never force anyone to eat anything they don't like. I make variations on meals depending on what each person likes. Food and eating is such a personal thing, I think expecting someone to eat something they don't like is unreasonable.

I would never force

i would be annoyed if they used to love something and then kick up a stink when it’s served.

I would expect them to try a mouthful of anything new

Beans and chips would be fine - sausages are not needed so I wouldn’t add nuggets instead but if they wanted to cook something to add to the plate I’d usually let them

id always try to ensure that the dinner is basically liked by everyone even if it’s not everyone’s favourite or quite what they fancied that day

I imagine by teenage years the dc has tried sausages enough times to know they definitely don’t like them though. As it’s an easy replacement and making something you know they don’t like then if put something else on

Being forced to eat something you literally cannot swallow is like a bush tucker trial though.
Several times throughout childhood I tried to force down egg sandwiches either to be polite or because some overbearing adult thought I should eat them. Just the smell of eggs makes me feel sick without even putting them in my mouth. I gag if I take a bite and then my throat will just not swallow it, I managed to swallow a big bite once washed down with a drink and promptly threw it all back up again.

No I just cook things she likes. Dd trains a lot so needs to eat a certain amount before doing 2 hour training sessions.

He has a limited diet due to medical reasons but even if not, absolutely not. At any age.

As an adult I wouldn't force myself to eat something I dislike so wouldn't expect the same from a child/teen.

Works both ways for me too. I don't like spaghetti or rice but everyone else in my family does so I serve them regularly and just eat a small portion myself because its not a big deal for me, I can eat them, just don't like it.
But mushrooms make me physically sick so I don't cook those at all but OH will cook them sometimes for him and the kids and I'll just have a sandwich.

This is pretty much my stance too.

Also a difference between hated it their whole existence or hate it this week, which is something my DD does often (DS not so much).

No. I wouldn’t eat something I didn’t like so I wouldn’t expect my child to have to eat it if they choose not to.

I generally serve meals in the middle of the table as a help yourselves so they can always try something or choose to leave.
If I’m doing something simple ie per person like cheese on toast I would always check whether each person wants with tomato’s/ chives/ Worcestershire/ plain.. I wouldn’t just auto give everyone the same

and yes something like sausage v nuggets I would def just ask the teen what he wanted and put alternative in.

DS has things he doesn't like, as do I and DH. Those things are few in number so we just don't cook them. If we were bordering on silly levels of "dislikes everything put in front of them" and the teen is neuro typical, then they would be cooking for themselves.

me too! Adults can function perfectly well without eating everything that their parents think they should. I absolutely agree that parents should offer a variety of choices and encourage children to try new things and yes we can't all have our favourites every night, but why would anybody make anybody else eat something they don't like? Oh and I prefer the term selective.

I am the same with cabbage and its minging relations and did the same thing when my school tried to make me eat it.

I never cooked anything my teens didn't like. There was always an option.

This. Teens are perfectly able to cook a meal for whole family once a week. They take it in turns and actually try to outdo each other so we get some lovely meals. I loved a linguine with seasoned butterflies chicken strips, garlic, black pepper and cream with parmesan last week. Bits of parsley on top.

They wouldn't eat chicken nuggets and I wouldn't serve them unless home made from fresh chicken breasts. Even then a bit bland.

Nobody is forced to eat anything they don't like. I do gently prod them to at least pretend to eat some vitamins...

I think our approach to food is very different.

And that's how you give your kids issue s with food