Have you ever been upset by something said to you on MN?

[grizy]

I’m a frequent name changer but I’ve been around for a few years. I deleted an earlier account after I somehow provoked a pile-on when I started a tongue-in-cheek thread about ketchup on roast dinners (of all things). Some of the comments were beyond brutal - I could laugh some of them off but others were really below the belt. Over ketchup!! 😂

In the end, I decided I was too thin skinned for the rigours of MN and I took a break until I decided to dip my toe back in MN waters again. I’m much more cautious now and tend to not start threads but I’m curious as to whether anyone else has felt upset at comments a stranger has posted at them online? Are you able to shrug it off or do you take it a bit more personally? This isn’t meant to be ‘oh, isn’t MN a horrible place’ discussion (I don’t think it is) but just me wondering if others get upset if you’re on the receiving end of spiky comments or if you’re able to just quickly dismiss it?

Yep. I started an AMA once and someone told me I was boring. And I got accused of being racist once. I don't personally believe I'm either of those things.

Being told requesting basic accommodations for my disability is "really rude" was today's highlight.

Oh yes. It's why I left here eight years ago (I'd been around since the days of "Are you on glue?" and the nest of vipers) so quite some yeass. Lots of people backed me up following two particularly vile posters and told them they were out of line but I'd seen an increasing level of unpleasantness on threads generally I decided I'd have a break. Turned out to be a very long one, as only came back a couple of months ago.

No.

I can’t muster a shit on what anyone thinks of me. Let alone a stranger on a forum who wouldn’t say a word to my face.

Not upset but genuinely despair for humanity. I avoid the feminist board like a plague. Unhinged comes to mind.

I got a 24 ban a couple of days ago for snapping back at someone who left a reply of such breathtaking inanity and wrongheadedness to a comment by me (on someone else's thread) describing a very sensitive situation that it was difficult to credit.

It reminded me that there are Mners with the emotional IQ of a teaspoon, and that I should not put myself out there without recognising that such people exist and have access to the internet.

I was told on here during Covid that my child’s mental health issues were my fault and that I was ‘projecting my anxiety onto her’. And that other people’s kids were coping fine and that it wasn’t an issue for a child to be deprived of in-person contact with all other children for months on end.

I dont like the accusations of being a man or some sort of martyr for men just for having a different opinion to someone else. It feels like a very sexist environment with racist undertones.

Yes, I’ve been upset by comments on here, not just ones that were to me personally either. Sometimes people on here are awful and it makes me just despair. I have been on MN for years but, like PPs, I’ve also come off for years at a time too because I hated how awful people were.

Yeah, someone with a username related to a popular blackcurrant drink once told me I was “playing the cancer card”.

How despicable do you have to be to say something like that? It really upset me at the time.

Exactly how I feel.

It genuinely just doesn't bother me.

Not upset - fucking furious. I once posted about something that was going on at my son's school that he and I weren't happy about and one poster became increasingly offensive towards him - so much so that their posts were being reported and deleted by MN almost immediately they appeared. Quite why MN didn't ban them temporarily I don't know. I don't mind posters trying to insult me, they're strangers whose opinions I don't value so it's water off a duck's back, but quite another to tear into a child.

Some people are utter dicks on here though, and it's definitely getting worse.

I have found nasty comments about disabled adults and children really demoralising but it hasn’t stopped me from posting if I think a thread will be a nasty pile on I usually hide it. Don’t want it in my headspace

Yes I deleted my old account after being so upset by the pile on I got when I needed urgent advice I wasn’t getting IRL. I find the FWR forums are the only place where this doesn’t happen. The only people who get a hard time over there are those who blunder in, taking no time to try and understand, and tell everyone they are wrong and bigoted, usually taking over/derailing threads to do so. Try doing the same in any topic-group and see how it goes (eg those loudmouths who swan into The Doghouse going on about how much they hate dogs in cafes).

I think you just learn which threads to respond to and which to give a wide berth to.

I suppose it depends very much on what mood I am in and what has been happening in my life at that point in time because sometimes I could react out of character. In general though, I take a lot of what is on here with a massive pinch of salt. I see no point anymore in setting much store by the irrelevant opinions of online strangers who, to the best of my knowledge I have never met and never will.

No, but I wouldn’t start a thread on AIBU just in case.

yes. ive left a few times and come back.
pileons are absolutely horrible. especially when it’s started by someone who hasn’t read the thread properly and then others do the same and think what she said is true and pile in talkimg rubbish, when it’s not correct at all and other info was clarified later but nobody read it. but by then it’s too late.

Yes - only once. I posted on a thread in March 2024 about sexual abuse by a partner and I posted about an experience with my own DH. I didn’t go back to see any responses because I’d been really upset when I posted it and didn’t want to see them. I happened to stumble across the same thread a whole year later, saw that someone (I know her username and she still posts regularly) had a go at me for using a smiley/laughing face in my post, given the topic of conversation. I had a go back at her, basically saying it was MY abuse I was talking about and I’ll use whatever emoji I like. I was so upset by it that I got MN to delete my year old post.

It wouldn’t have been a big deal to some, but it was to me. What a bitch she was - she also believes that abuse against men isn’t real. What a delight.

I posted as my son hurt himself and I genuinely wasn’t sure if I needed to take him to A&E. He hurt his leg and couldn’t put weight on it but was otherwise fine.

There were many posts accusing me of being an awful mother and that I should be reported to SS for not taking him straight to A&E. One of the posters later apologised but it was still hurtful and still a little upsetting to this day.

Turned out it was a hairline fracture, but I genuinely didn’t know as he seemed ok apart from not being able to weight bear. I poster for advice but I got so much anger and hate.

Yes I was basically told to find a career I love because my life is shit due to having no kids or husband

We are all strangers, no one on here knows me in real life. A lot of posts are probably just made up to stir up trouble. I don’t toke any of it seriously!!!

There’s a reason why this is in ‘Chat’. 😂😂

Yes!

I have name changed.

I posted about my son and his divorce, where is wife was manipulating CAFCASS and the courts. He wanted to see his child regularly. To continue to be his daddy.

On the thread, asking for advice, I was dragged into more and more detail to defend myself and him. One particular poster more than others.
As I gave more information, I talked about my son’s profession, his full time job, his regular maintenance payments, his willingness to meet any agreed arrangements including short contact initially or a Contact Centre or us accompanying him, or having our grandchild here at home, just anything to help. (even though DS had not done anything wrong).

We are a normal, decent, hard working (education and Children’s Services) family, just hoping that our grandchild could have a continued relationship with his daddy and the paternal part of his family.

DiL was at the point of the family court noting parent alienation. Of course, the longer the lack of contact happened, the harder it was for DS to pick up the contact as DiL claimed father/son relationship wasn’t in place.

I was slated, absolutely not believed and made out to be some mad MiL with a deviant son.

Awful.

When I started a thread about ketchup on roast dinners, it was meant to be light-hearted. Was saying how I’d cooked a big roast and a guest had asked for condiments and basically squirted ketchup and mayonaise all over my lush rosemary roasties and herby chicken. 😂

Oh my - I got tormented! Was called a sanctimonious bitch, stuck up cow…all sorts. Part of me did think the thread had been invaded by trolls because the responses were so extreme - but I did genuinely feel really upset by it. As others have said, it’s random strangers on the internet so it shouldn’t really have an impact - but for me, sometimes it does.

No, never upset. Exasperated yes. Any intense feelings arrive I know that"s when it's time to step away for a bit.