Reasonable amount to request from DD

[Puddleduck2013]

DD 18 has recently started a full time job with a very impressive starting salary of £29k!

I think it’s important she starts contributing especially as I’m on my own and earn a modest amount.
It’s the principle as much as anything else, she is a shocking spender and seems to spend every penny she earns. I may well end up saving what she contributes and giving it back at some point but she doesn’t need to know that.

My dilemma is how much to request. She brings home about £2000, pays a car loan of about £200 pm but that’s it.
She sleeps over at her bf’s at least 3 nights and her Dad’s maybe once a week.
however this is her base, all her belongings are her, does her washing her etc.

what would be a reasonable amount?

expecting her to kick back that she’s always at her bf’s

Does she contribute to expenses when she's there?

Adults in the real world don't get to live for free.

No she doesn’t contribute anything to bf’s home

@Puddleduck2013 i think it’s time for a grown up chat - she doesn’t get to “kick back” about necessary expenses in the real world

Is she kicks back tell her to go live with him then 😂. £300 seems fair enough.

Yeah, my mum took a third of whatever I earned when I was still at home so £300 is nothing!
I know DD will moan that she’s hardly
here and her Dad doesn’t ask for money and how unfair I’m being 😂

Difficult as at 18 you lose all the benefits eg child benefit and single person council tax. OP may not be able to subsidise her. If she MJ ed out she’d be paying lot more. She will be auto enrolled in a work pension won’t she ?

She’s free to move in with her boyfriend or her Dad.

I’d take £400, that’s £100 a week, a total bargain! £300 is letting her off very lightly. Up to you obvs. Jeez, do people think they can earn money but just live for free?

No she doesn’t contribute anything to bf’s home

She's taking the proverbial. Why does she think she shouldn't pay her way?

If she decided to move into her dad’s/boyfriend’s instead, would you be more or less financially comfortable?

This is one reason why so many young people don’t move out nowadays!

£300 for her to retain a room at your house, where she's always welcome and able to keep all her stuff sounds about the right amount, especially as you'll be paying more council tax, food, utilities etc while she's there and realistically, without her contribution, you'd either need to consider downsizing or taking in a lodger - make sure she realises this.

I'd also strongly encourage her to start paying a decent amount into a pension and to save some money for the costs of running her car, and also for when she moves out as it's likely she's currently got more disposable income than she'll ever have unless she ends up as a high earner. She's earning a great salary for her age and she'll likely kick herself later on if she gets used to having that amount of money just for fun spending. Anything saved and invested now will really pay off in the future.

I too was about to suggest £300 or thereabouts. It’s not unreasonable and you won't exactly be making much out of her! (About 25 quid a night for four weeks which would be for drinks, meals, snacks, bedding change, heating etc.)

£500 a month. That’s a lot more than I earn. If you don’t need the money, save it for her house deposit.

well you will have lost your single person's council tax discount so she needs to contribute 25% of your council tax bill to make up for that.

On top of that I calculated that dd cost me an extra £50 per week in terms of bills/food etc. But my dd was earning a lot less than yours is so I would probably say about £70 in your instance. (plus council tax)

My son is about to move into a shared house and will be paying £135 per week including bills. That is in a northern city.

I'd say 25% of her take home.

Even if you put some of it into savings for her

What are her expenses OP? You mention a car payment - who covers tax, insurance, MOT /servicing and petrol? Who pays for her phone? Hairdresser? Gym? These are all everyday expenses that we all have to budget for out of earned income on top of the basics like food, accommodation and utilities. . The sooner she learns this the better.

A few hundred pounds sounds reasonable if you need it.

We don’t charge our adult child for living at home during his first graduate job. He is putting a lot of his income into an ISA so he can start saving for a house deposit.. But we can afford to pay for him so that’s fine for us.

£300 a month is reasonable, I’d also be insistent that she opens her own savings account and puts money into it every month.

I earn less than that and I pay £650 a month

ETA I’m at my parents 4 days a week

We charge 35% of DS wage, which is apparently the average amount of wages that goes towards rent / mortgage.

Fine if the adult child is able to save, but some people spend everything they earn as soon as they get it.

Then they don’t have savings.

At some point the parents have to cut the apron strings and let adults get on with it themselves.

if they want to take board, that’s up to them. It’s the saving it for the adult children I find extremely weird.

In thay case she can move at her bf full time and you can rent out her room.

Mine saves like crazy, earns a similar amount, I charge them £235 which is my council tax bill.