I want all your advice on what a 26-year-old girl can do for her future and beauty.

[VividHare]

I need the advice of every woman who is older than me. If you were 26 years old, what would you do for your career, your beauty, your relationships, and your health?

Woman, not girl.

I wouldn't get into a serious relationship too early. Wear sunscreen to avoid skin cancer later. Take care of your body (but don't obsess). Stay active. Read lots of books. Eat lots of fresh food. Realise that a lot of how you age is in your genes and you can't do a thing about it. Also realise that there is nothing wrong with aging naturally and not everyone gets to age, so it's a blessing that you do.

Don’t ever ever ever sunbathe.

This.

Wear sunscreen, don’t smoke or vape and don’t over pluck your eyebrows.

Career: degree, postgraduate degree in a field you are interested in
and do lots of CPD courses while you are young and promotions and move for work etc
Your beauty: this comes from confidence. And health. Don’t smoke, vape, do drugs etc So walk tall, look after your body inside and out, decent diet, light weight training, brush and sort your teeth, CV x 5 a week, good cleanser and moisturiser. SPF and get out in daylight and have a daily swim. Get a great hairdresser and shampoo and conditioner and get your nails done nicely and short and decent.
Relationships: you need at least two great older women mentors meet them for lunch, mentor someone younger in return, set good healthy boundaries - do the freedom programme and learn what healthy is, read up on narcissists, abusers and work out what you don’t want. Friends come in all shapes and sizes. But like potted plants they need time eg birthday cards and thoughtful messages. Friendships should be balanced.
with any partner think 🤔 if I fell out with this man what would he be like as an ex partner if we had children - look at ex friends of his why are they ex ? How does he behave with her?

always earn your own money, have your own pension and savings and buy a house.

Always consider mental health with everything you do:
eg join a choir or a gardening club. Get outside in the garden and find your passions.

Read and travel and know your worth.

@MadBlack said it perfectly
Also - be kind, but not to people who take the p’ss.

If she smokes then tell her to stop. That will sort out finances, skin care, yellow teeth, bad breath and stinking clothe.

🙂

Stop doing what you’re doing. Leave the 47 year old alone. You keep complaining about being in a ‘blue collar job’, so retrain to do something that fulfils you. Stop asking men you’re dating for a loan.

Pay the maximum you can into your work pension.
Always be independent, never rely on your partner and never let them tell you what to do.
Put a quality suncreen on your face all year round.
If you have the option of caesarian section, take it. Vaginal births knackered my pelvic floor and now I'm pissing myself for the rest of my life.
Learn the difference between good advice and being told what to do.
Don't stay quiet in a naff job thinking there's career prospects - speak out, there will always be other jobs.
Do a sport that keeps you active and flexible, your older self will thank you for it.

Beauty & Health: SPF every day, don’t bask in the sun. Water, lots of it. Good clean food. Moisturise. Strength train, consistently.
Don’t take fertility for granted and leave it too late.
Pay attention to your body.
Don’t ‘diet’ - it fucks up your relationship with food and your body.
Invest time in your mental health, even if it’s just a mindfulness activity a couple of times a day.

Career & Finance - get a good pension scheme set up. Take the opportunities, silence the imposter syndrome that could hold you back.
Have a Growth Mindset.
Don’t depend on a partner for your financial safety.

Relationships - Have standards. Don’t hang onto a relationship because you think things will get better. Find a partner you can properly communicate with, on an adult to adult level.
An old one - but so true - NEVER go to bed angry, always sort stuff out before it festers. All relationships have their disagreements, it’s how you sort it out that matters.
Realise that lust/passion isn’t love. Love is the daily interactions, the gentle support, the respect, the communication, the person who understands and accepts you, the person you can be a ‘team’ with and build a life together.

Because its basically saying a woman's fate depends on a man.

I think microplastics will be a huge issue for your generation, so as well as the excellent advice to wear sunscreen, drink water and exercise I will add: don’t heat plastics/ use plastics for storing hot food

wear sunscreen, learn to lift weights and do it regularly, floss teeth, declutter, travel, drink less, do hobbies on weeknights like padel or language classes rather than drinking or working late pr
doom scroll,
invest money, journal.

Don’t date broke men hoping they’ll appreciate how kind you are for not being superficial about money stuff, they won’t

Stop caring what others think or care loads less

Baz Luhrmann – Everybody's Free (Feat Lee Perry) Lyrics | Genius Lyrics

However...
Do take the vitamin D advice to make it naturally - exposure of skin to sun for a short time at the right time of day (in the morning, ideally).
Getting to dangerously low vitamin D in midlife has caused a lot of problems. It was not quick to identify them and it is not quick to set them right.

Take up feminism.

Lots of good advice here.

Wear suncream and avoid sunburn. Drink plenty of water and moisturise.

Pay into your pension now if you aren’t doing so already. Make sure you always have some savings to fall back on. Get a job that works for you: consider career progression opportunities and maternity provision.

Do NOT marry a lazy man. Take red flags in men seriously. Do NOT marry an unfaithful man!

You’re a woman.
You will have to be very committed to achieve parity with men
Focus on your career; don’t make sacrifices for a partner or husband.
Don’t accept shit, from anyone, not ever. Especially men.
Think very carefully whether you want children. It’s life-changing, and you need to choose the father very carefully and discuss all the implications and responsibilities beforehand.
Start a pension now.
Eat healthy. Drink little (other than water)
Work out - at least 40-60 minutes, 4-6 times a week. Including weights. Especially weights.
Find a few passions - stuff that interests you, gives you joy, nurtures your soul.
Get involved in your community and/or politics and/or campaigns to make a difference.
Wear sunscreen. Always.
I’m sure there’s more but that’s all I can think of right now (with hindsight, looking back over my 7 decades on this planet…)

ETA…. look after your teeth - they’re the only ones you’ll get and they are way more important than wrinkles

Given how a man can totally fuck up the life of his children’s mother, choosing carefully is VERY sound advice!

I’m going to be very boring & talk about health stuff. Unfortunately, it’s all true.

Don’t smoke. If you do, quit. Vaping isn’t as bad as smoking but it’s still expensive pointless nicotine addiction. So quit.

Maintain a healthy weight. Not becoming obese in the first place is far, far easier than losing loads of weight when you are obese and your joints ache and you become a disgusting sweaty mess when you try to exercise, and you look in the mirror & hate yourself. Ask me how I know….

Use sunscreen, don’t sunbathe & don’t use sunbeds. Be like an Aussie. They are the world experts on skin cancer. Slip, Slap, Slop. that’s slip on a shirt, slap on a hat, slop on the sunscreen.

I told you it was boring…

And for relationships:

Don’t marry a dickhead. It doesn’t matter how good looking, charismatic, funny, rich, whatever he is. It doesn’t matter how much you fancy him. If you ignore the red flags now, you will regret it later. Nice, respectful, caring, dependable guys are not ‘boring’, they are husband & father material.

That niggly voice in your head ? Listen to it.

Be kind to yourself. Happiness is the part that I wished I'd appreciated more when younger, in ruder health, fitter and slimmer. (Admittedly, I'm struggling more now than I might not have done had I never had a head injury and post concussion syndrome before being injured permanently by an off label antipsychotic, but that is another long story....)

As the Sunscreen song so aptly says, enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Dance, floss, look after your teeth, your mental health, your bones, your brain, your mind.

Don't bang your head like i did (!) Try to minimise medication unless absolutely necessary, especially psychotropic drugs, as these are absolutely horrid for long term effects (and i should know 😫💔)

Exercise properly, appreciate your slim size 10 waist now, and try not to gain weight around perimenopause. It'll take much more effort to lose the middle age weight than you'd ever anticipate.

Be kind to others, be empathetic, and don't suffer fools gladly nor tolerate someone being unkind. Often, others' criticism or unkind words are actually a reflection of their own feelings and shortcomings.

Marry a kind, practical, reliable, and good man. Yes, even the bald one who looks a bit like your dad and reminds you of a kind adult friend of your parents who made you feel safe and comforted you (DH, I'm looking at you... 😅) Really don't make do with soneone who's a great friend and a laugh, but who you don't fancy, and is more like a brother. And definitely avoid the men whose mums are racist old battleaxes who are slightly scary...

Oh, and save money, pay into a good pension, work for a good company, and never lose the connections with people who employed you. It's usually who you knew that helps you get on in the later stages of your career.

Don't rely on a man for your happiness. When you do settle down with someone, make sure you are respected and loved with no doubts.

Drink water.
Wear spf daily.
Trust you can do your job.