Tutor turned up at my house at 9.45pm over a negative Google review – what would you do?

[Booyou123]

Hi everyone

I’m still quite shaken up by this and would appreciate some thoughts and perspectives.

My son attended a private tutor for about a year at the start of Year 5 for the 11 plus exam. After we stopped using her services, I left an honest Google review based on our experience. It wasn’t abusive or offensive, just a negative review.

The tutor was extremely upset by it. She repeatedly called me and my husband, sent so many emotional voice notes and messages, and even contacted my sister-in-law (who also has used her tutoring services) multiple times because she knows her. She told my sister in law that if I don’t take the review down, she’s calling the police as I am violating her business.

The part that has really terrified and shocked me is that she then turned up unannounced at my house at around 9.45pm. She was banging on the door and windows, demanding to speak to me about the review. She was absolutely hysterical, crying and sending me messages begging me to take the review down.

My children were in the house and ran upstairs because they were scared. My son was crying and very frightened, and asked why his teacher was there banging on the door.

I called the police afterwards and was advised to document everything. They couldn’t deploy anyone as they had some major incident in Woolwich, London. They told me that if there were further incidents, the behaviour could potentially amount to harassment.

Since then, she has sent a message apologising for coming to my house, saying she will never do it again and won’t contact me further.

What is bothering me most is that she only knew where we lived because of her professional relationship with our family. I can’t get past the feeling that using a client’s address to turn up at their home over a Google review is a huge breach of professional boundaries, maybe even DBS and goodness knows what else.

Part of me thinks I should just accept the apology and move on. Another part of me feels this was so inappropriate that I should take it further. She’s a woman who runs a professional tutoring company, and she was completely unhinged.

What would you do in my position?

im not saying the reaction was to be expected. Clearly the OP didn’t expect her to turn up at her door! What I’m saying is you can’t go around saying things like this online to small, close, local individuals trying to run a business and not expect a reaction. We only have OP version of events that she was crazy and unhinged. There’s 2 sides to every story!

If there are mental health issues, no way should someone with them be near or tutoring children until they are in better health, if at all. Maybe not enough to reach the threshold for having someone sectioned under the Mental Health Act, but still a reason not to be tutoring.

You need to report it OP. I’m very sorry if she’s having a hard time but she should not be around children. Rational, fully sane people do NOT react like this and we all know it. I’d leave it up, report the other incident to the
police. You’re intelligent and know that this could have a bad outcome if it happened again.

I'm a 1:1 tutor to primary age children. If I ever found myself banging on the door & windows late at night of a child's home, sending hysterical messages etc to the parent, then I would expect to be in a lot of trouble & would need to be struck off. Whatever the review on Google, no tutor has the right to react this way. She should not be around children nor have knowledge where past pupils live. Massive safeguarding issue right here & needs reporting, she should be ashamed of herself. She actually frightened the child she once tutored!

OP don’t take your review down. She sounds like she needs help but also the other tutor shouldn’t be ringing you either.
if I was a parent and I saw your review, it would make me think twice about using this tutoring company however I’d rather not use a company, than be harassed by a professional person at my doorstep when my children are at home. It’s no acceptable.
I work for a company and we sell goods but if there’s a problem we wouldn’t hammer on their door. We’d try and rectify it to make sure the customer was happy. I think they’re trying to guilt trip you into taking your review down to look like they only receive great reviews.

Remove the review and move on.

OT but I’m astonished at how much tutoring is deemed necessary to pass an 11+. Either a child is clever enough to pass or they’re not? The GS outside our catchment advised that ‘We do not recommend tutoring’ and I think it’s a shame that bright children whose parents can’t/won’t afford could potentially be denied a place because pushy parents have paid for their kids to be tutored within an inch of their lives.
I thought these types of school were supposed to level they playing field?

I disagree with this. People should feel confident to leave honest reviews. And if you are someone who can't cope with negative reviews, you shouldn't run a small, independent business.

If you had a crap painter or gardener or window cleaner, would you not feel justified in writing an honest review of their service? Or should people only leave positive reviews, in which case, people are unable to get a full picture of services.

Nothing op did was wrong. There is no version of events that makes any of this womans behaviour acceptable.

It sounds like you refused contact after you had posted the review. Is that correct?

I think this is completely out of order and she should not be acting like this - absolutely disgraceful behaviour from someone that you entrusted your child to.

In the olden days when there were enough grammar school places and kids took the exam at school there was no need for tutoring, now there aren’t enough places and it is extremely competitive, state schools aren’t allowed to teach for the 11+ so even kids who would do well at a grammar school have to have tutoring to pass the test because they don’t learn verbal and non verbal reasoning at school and every other kid is being tutored, our area gives free online tutoring to low income families and our head teacher has said even the kids who are top of the class will need a tutor if they want to get into the local grammar. Our local grammar has 120 places and kids from the entire county can apply, there are only 3 grammars in the whole county.

The government is looking at rescheduling the 11+ exam to make it impossible for children to be 'crammed' over holidays.

What would’ve been the point to keep in contact? By that point OP had raised her concerns personally with the teacher, they were dismissed, she left, she posted the review.

What do you mean by “cruel”? She was definitely acting unhinged.

If you are a business with a Google/online presence, you have to accept that you will receive both positive and negative reviews. Turning up at a customer’s home over a bad review is completely disproportionate, and banging on their doors and windows makes it even worse.

Would people still think it was “too cruel” to call the behaviour unhinged if it had been a man doing it? Put yourself in the OP’s/children’s. A business owner shows up at your house at night and starts banging on the door and windows over a review. That’s not a normal or reasonable reaction-it’s intimidating and quite alarming.

All the tutoring, then the OP checking what the tutor is teaching and now all this sounds very stressful for the DC.

Anyway I just received a phone call from another tutor in our area (who knows me and our other tutor) who knows what has happened last night (I didn’t tell her) and has requested me to take the review down as this banging on the door tutor has lots of mental health issues and this could significantly affect her

Another tutor from the same company?

If a simple honest review has the potential to make her so upset she behaves like she did and scares children then she is in the wrong profession. If someone had written a review last year you would not be in this position now. I’m all for protecting mental health especially in the work place but this isn’t poor mental health, this is losing her shit which she absolutely cannot do. She is very lucky it was your home she did this at, many other people would have called the police.

If you feel very bad, how about changing the review to ‘deleted my review as requested by the owner’ or something like that? That sentence says it all really.

But you’re absolutely within your rights to leave it as it is. Mental health or not, she’s offering a service and is not providing it.

And fyi, I had a tutor for one of my children, he didn’t get into the desired school but that tutoring absolutely helped him in a core subject so it’s not all about the school exam.

I don't understand the mindset of leaving negative reviews, especially when it is a small business. I would always speak to the business privately and "own it" that you are not happy. This gives a chance for things to be rectified. Online reviews are for the power hungry and it actually achieves nothing.

Why did you bother to leave a negative review though.

Bonkers behaviour. Earlier this year I left a negative review on Amazon for an A level poetry study guide. It was incredibly basic and effectively useless. I’m a secondary school teacher and thought it might be useful for a student who had missed a lot of lessons owing to illness. I left the review under my name, which is quite an unusual one. The author emailed my school - not me directly but my deputy head demanding I take it down or there would be legal action! She also emailed my Head of Department with whom she had worked at his previous school. The first I knew was when the deputy head told me about it. I’ve been at my school for 20 years so it didn’t cause me any issues at all - they just thought she was a bit unhinged. I sent her a pithy email having been forwarded her original one.

I cannot believe how many insane people are basically saying to OP deserves this because the poor tutor might have issues. If anyone came banging on my windows raging like that over a review of course I’d call the police and I do not think someone like that should be teaching children.

Why not?

Anyway I just received a phone call from another tutor in our area (who knows me and our other tutor) who knows what has happened last night (I didn’t tell her) and has requested me to take the review down as this banging on the door tutor has lots of mental health issues and this could significantly affect her

How does this other tutor know what occurred last night?

How has she got your phone number?

What did you say during the conversation with her when she asked you to remove the review?

So you don't read reviews to decide whether you want to use a service or company?

How do you decide which company to use when/if you need work done?

I read reviews. I also weigh up negative and positive reviews and exactly what the negatives were. I also like to read the feedback people/companies provide to reviews if they don't agree.

Cooking your evening meal instead of checking your phone isn't "refusing contact". Don't be daft.

OP did speak to the tutor first and raised her concerns. She was dismissed, so she terminated the business relationship and left a review . Why shouldn’t she?What’s the point of reviews if you’re only allowed to leave positive ones , anyway?