Are engagement presents a thing?

[AgentPidge]

DS has got engaged to his girlfriend. They came round to tell us and we were thrilled for them. But it's just dawned on me - am I supposed to buy them a present? If so, what? I don't know the etiquette here. Thanks.

No.

No, i would just do a card.

I got some lovely engagement presents, mostly flowers and champagne

I got some but it was years ago and also had a party, if DS got engaged I would be buying a gift. I think in the past before people ‘lived in sin’ it was a time to accumulate items as people needed to look to setting up a home from scratch. But that’s an outdated concept. I did have a friend who had a ‘bottom drawer’ she started when very young. We are all 60 this year and it was old fashioned then. She never did get married.

I didn't get engaged but I think a present is always appreciated, however small.

Champagne or dinner would be a lovely recognition of their engagement. Or simply tell them you would be happy to pay £x towards the wedding (and X can be £50 or £50000 depending on your personal family circumstances).

I buy engagement cards and a bottle of whatever I think they would drink.

It’s used to be towels and toasters back in the day. Not now though. Congrats and a card or a meal out is good!

Yes, rather than a physical present for engagement, my mum contributed some money towards the wedding.

I think it’s individual choice. When my son got engaged we bought them a set of Waterford Crystal wine glasses. For others I’d just send a card.

When my DD got engaged we took her and future sil out for a meal and told them how much we could contribute towards the wedding. Obviously we got them a card.

We never did actually get engaged, but after we’d set a date my favourite aunt gave us a Royal Worcester fluted flan dish. I’ve still got it, and use it, over 50 years later.
I can’t recall any others.

That's for the actual wedding though, isn't it? They've got all that anyway, as they live together.

OK, thanks all. A meal out it is!

I never received any and I’ve never given any. It might be a thing with work colleagues, but surely, as a parent, you’ll be paying for some of the wedding and that is your present.

Yes. Thanks. We will probably take them for a meal, though.

In Australia yes it’s a big gift giving event. I think most of my house was kitted out after my engagement 🫢. My parents bought me a washing machine and dryer as gifts and paid for the party for everyone. Interesting how different it is in the UK. I always think we are the equivalent of cousins but some things are so different. Maybe a nice gift they would t buy themselves that would last (ie nice picture frame or coffee machine or something special like that)?

Yes, lots of people give engagement presents, but ask them what they want, no one needs more tat in their lives.

I have bought engagement presents for my sister, and husbands siblings
Normally a bottle of moet- and a card!!
Mainly because I want them to know it's amazing news and we are excited for them rather than anything else ...

It depends.

Close family/friend- card and gift (eg a bottle of champagne).

Invited to an engagement party- take a card and gift to that.

Less close friend/someone you don’t see much in person- post a card.

Work colleague- a communal card/collection for the actual wedding is nice.

DH’s colleague who he manages recently got engaged - we bought a card and a fancy bottle of English sparkling wine. Nothing was expected but I thought it was a nice thing to do - they have a close working relationship.

Plus as they live together already I don't understand an engagement being a formal thing ... Just get married or don't ...!

I got some lovely engagement presents but mainly cash gifts. I remember the girls from work buying me pastry forks in a set which I thought was very fancy but they are used all the time here now but we weren’t living together so it was different. If they are having a party the normal thing done here is money in a card or a voucher.

Yes definitely.

No