What's the wankiest thing you'll admit to doing?

[NotDarkGothicMama]

Inspired by this AIBU thread and Sunday lunch.

When I have a particularly large parsnip to prepare, I enjoy waving it around like a club and pretending to be a caveman first.

Walk around the fruit section in M and S and refuse to buy the blueberries my toddler is reaching for because ‘they’re not organic darling’. Caught myself doing it the other day and wanted to bite my own tongue off

😁 Have you checked if you're featured on the Overheard in Waitrose page?

Love the overheard in Waitrose it’s hilarious

Hugo we can’t buy hummus from the essentials range - what will the lady on the checkout think 🤣

Wow, was coming on here with my "confession ", didn't realise how middle class it was going to be!! Jogging on ..

Same!

Doing my cycle commute to work in head-to-toe Rapha kit.

Wanking.

Nooooo, come back! I don't want to be the only caveman.

Suggesting caviar as the finger food for the party DP and I are throwing on Friday. (He vetoed it, sadly.)

If it helps, I raced someone at the traffic lights yesterday. I'm nearly 40 years old, drive a very boring car and had a little giggle to myself as I sped off.

Telling my sons that the music from the ice cream van meant they were sold out....🤣🤣🤣

Try to make my ddog dance. She thinks I have lost the plot.

Does it count if you did it as a child?
I cut the family cats whiskers off. My mother went ballistic and the cat wasnt impressed either 😆😆

If I go to a cafe to eat out alone I will take the rest of the chairs from my table and place them elsewhere.
People are less likely to ask to sit on your table if there aren't any chairs conveniently close by.

Mmm there’s 2 definitions of ‘wanky’ aren’t there - the OTT show off version and the being an utterly objectionable twat version.

Show off version: taking my very special selection of tea everywhere I go and generally refusing any offer of a crappy coffee

Arsehole version: got involved in drama involving an ex, his soon to be partner and her current boyfriend basically exposing their affair. None of my business and had some serious consequences

I was looking at summer holidays on the TUI website, and bear in mind I sort them from cheapest to most expensive because I’m skint so if I book one at all I will be booking the cheapest, I still refuse to consider any that are with RyanAir.

I was thinking that. I think maybe ‘wanky’ and ‘being a wanker’ are two different things.

I will only drink out of bone china mugs (note mug, not cup - it's VERY specific). I don't like the feeling of a thick rim against my lips (fnar fnar), and so refuse hot drinks from houses that have rimmy mugs and ask for takeaway cups when out.

That is SUPER wanky.

Every single time. I hate being outdone by tiny old cars when my foot is basically on the floor. I’m in my 30s.

Can we have more goss on this please. Sounds juicy!

Ohhh where does one find this page?

I was wondering what I could say to contribute and now I have it- I’m middle class.

Nurse! The screens!

It's a Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1K8HgqifJz/

I change the loo roll to my preferred orientation in other people's houses.

As a child, I was tempted to do the same (but didn't). I thought the cat would look so much better without her whiskers.

Then my younger sister came along, and actually did it. Alas, she only cut one side off before our mum caught her, so the poor cat looked worse than ever.