What's the wankiest thing you'll admit to doing?

[NotDarkGothicMama]

Inspired by this AIBU thread and Sunday lunch.

When I have a particularly large parsnip to prepare, I enjoy waving it around like a club and pretending to be a caveman first.

Hid my elderly grandads glasses for 2 weeks when I was 10. He was blind as a bat and even poked down the loo with his walking stick. After a fortnight they mysteriously turned up. "I knew it was him" but my mum was having none of it. I was too good to do such a nasty thing. My sister got the blame! Miserable twat died soon after. We had him 6 months, alternating with his other 2 kids.

cutting whiskers/hiding glasses, these are not wanky, they are awful

imo

i am fussy about my tea cup, i have had to throw one away today, which is sad.

Yes, cats need their whiskers for gauging their ability to get through gaps. I appreciate that children wouldn't have known this though.

I drink my prosecco in a wine glass and ask for one each time I order one in a pub. Is that wanky? It isn't a snobbery thing, I just prefer them!

I am also really fussy about wine glasses generally.

I do this and I don’t think it’s wanky at all. It’s sanity. Clunky thick mugs are for peoole that like clunky thick, thin thin China is for the thin thin China people. Differences are allowed.

No - I agree. I dislike thick mugs.

Dont! It evens them out

Agree but I will also refuse a mug if its coloured inside. It needs to be white or it makes the tea taste funny.

No it’s fine if they leave! Classism is wanky.

I will also only drink champagne or prosecco from a champagne saucer not a flute. It tastes much better and I can waft around like a 1950s movie star 🤣

I replaced now-DH's sheets when I started spending the night at his house because I refuse to sleep on polycotton. He was bemused but is now with me on the comfort and lack of bobbling.

Definitely true and the same reason I'll ask for a wine glass. The rim on a flute is just not big enough to get the true taste. Champagne saucers are better, but some pubs don't even have those, and I would feel a bit abnormal if I am just out for a pub lunch drinking out of one. Events etc, definitely! (And waiting staff at those at least tend to know what you mean and don't look at you like you've just fallen from the sky when you ask for one).

My coffee beans have to be freshly roasted I will not buy them from the supermarket that's been roasted months ago!

I don't like a thick mug either, though I'm not bothered what someone else makes it in if they do a brew at work or something. I blame it on one side of my family being from the Potteries and being brought up having tea in proper china cups.

Have loads of wanky habits, where do I start? I make my own gnocchi and pasta. I ordered my kitchen travertine tiles direct from Italy (the tiler had fun with the six different pastel shades trying to make them look right 😅) I make soffrito for soups and sauces and buy produce from Fattoria La Vialla and the local deli. I am not Italian, and do not have Italian heritage, I was born in Greater Manchester.

Well, we all have our preferences. My dad grows decent tomatoes in his greenhouse. And most supermarket vine-grown tomatoes are acceptable.

However, I think most cheap tomatoes are rubbish and taste like water with a hint of tomato.

I used to write letters to the newspapers and my school's student magazine. Most of my letters were essentially to express my disappointment in 'the youth of today'. This was when I was about 10-12.

I was such an objectionable little prig! 🫣

My sister, when she started seeing her now DH, famously said, when she first went back to his flat, something along the lines of 'darling, if you're planning to seduce me, you'll need a better sofa' (pointing at his hideously uncomfortable chaise longue, which was his only sitting room furniture) She then marched him off to John Lewis and made him buy a new, comfortable sofa.

They've now been married for many years and still have both the chaise longue (never sat on) and the JL sofa.
I should probably point out that BIL was at the time, an extremely well paid City worker and could well afford this, it had just somehow never occurred to him to buy better/more comfortable furniture.

wankiest? I have a morning mug for coffee, and afternoon mug for tea ,a hot chocolate mug and an evening herbal tea mug. I also have 3 Stanley quenchers for the 3 cordials I like. I also have my own plate and cutlery. I’m quite upset that my morning mug was purchased 10 years ago and the flag shagging roundabout painters have destroyed the flag for me and so I’m actively looking for a replacement as it now gives me the ick but I can’t make the swap until I’ve found the perfect replacement in terms of volume , shape and rim thickness. Also, I take the tea and coffee mug on holiday with me. And 1 Stanley. They have been all over the world with me in my hand luggage.

Wankest?

I’ve started refusing my neighbours diy parcel deliveries for their Reno for them as they have taken up 3 parking private spaces out of the 5 for our row. And the building noise was constant over the last 4 weeks from 7am-6pm. One space was for a skip which they parked behind, one for their car and another for their son’s car who doesn’t even drive yet. Their 3rd car is randomly left in another carpark. So the other 4 residents who have 6 cars between us have to play parking roulette and drive around the block 5-12 times to find a spot on one of the 3 little public carparks. ( we live directly next to a busy little high street so between 8-6 is horrendous).

I do this😁

@CantMakerHerThink what are the three cordials? I’m wondering if they are sufficiently wanky for me to be interested in.

Isn’t this what wanky means though? I thought it was essentially a synonym for pretentious?

I love true lime black cherry and lime juice sticks, made up with loads of big fat ice cubes and carbonated water. La croix also do a nice one in the same flavour. I get both of those from Amazon. I also love as my daily staple just because it was a proper treat when I was a kid. The other one varies as I do love all the Belvoir flavours (except for lemon) but I also love the mr Fitzpatrick dandelion and burdock cordial. Basically I just go to my local booths/Waitrose/wanky farm shop and buy what I fancy.

@CantMakerHerThink I love the sound of black cherry and lime.. it has stevia in it though, which irritates the bladder lining for those of us with wanky bladders. Sounds gorgeous though. Inspired me to add black cherry and raspberry fizzy drink by rubicon to Amazon order. I do love belvoir cordials.. did you know that it’s pronounced ‘ beaver’ ?!? At least, this is what davina McCall said. I hope it’s not true. Thanks for the inspo.

I grind coffee beans every morning, and am now on my third coffee grinder, as the previous two didn't grind the beans well enough (in my view). I've just started getting my wine delivered from the Wine Society and purposely chose the delivery day where it comes in their special van. I am definitely a food/drink wanker...

Perhaps the wankiest thing we do as a couple is that I love to keep my DH company while he wraps my presents. I love hearing him do it, and wishing I could see what he’s wrapping; but I can’t, because I’m blindfolded. It’s the silliest thing ever, but we both love it!

DH and I sometimes text or leave messages on the fridge in Latin.