What's the wankiest thing you'll admit to doing?

[NotDarkGothicMama]

Inspired by this AIBU thread and Sunday lunch.

When I have a particularly large parsnip to prepare, I enjoy waving it around like a club and pretending to be a caveman first.

I take progress pictures at the gym (our gym has a special posing area for this in the changing room so you don’t snap someone getting changed) and they go in a seperate album on my phone.

I do hyrox, which is fairly wanky, but to take it to another level I do it topless.

I'm a running wanker, OH is a cycling wanker, we were sat in a quiet alcove in the pub chatting about our / our acquaintances latest Strava achievements.... I cringed when I realised there was someone sat in the booth behind us... she must have thought we were the wankiest pair of bores alive!

Last week I asked the gardeners to start cutting the lawn 2cm shorter.

The gym I go to had a 360 degree camera set up in the posing room after the last HYROX sim… you would have loved that!

If I can't sleep I have been known to prove from first principles the formula for solving quadratic equations!
It's the one that starts with x = -b +/- ........... can't do the notation correctly on here though.

I’m the same! It just tastes so wrong.

Ooh I just fell in love with you a bit! 🌟
Wonderful thing to do!

Me too

Oh I know. I'm trying to imagine what exH would say about me. Probably that I stopped him from having the DC for Christmas a few years ago. Boo hoo. He was up on drug-related charges and his proposal was that they spend Christmas at his sister's empty flat with him and a strange man that was camping out there temporarily. He thought I was unreasonable to say no and keel them with me.

Can someone link the overheard in waitrose thread. I can't find it

My DH hates anything that requires audience participation (in case he gets picked) so I convinced him to come to the London Dungeon with me by promising to move in front of him so the actors wouldn’t be able to pick him.

on the way to the courtroom I stepped to the left as we entered knowing the first one to be grabbed and put in the dock would be on the right. I gave him a cheeky wave and said “bye!”

he has not forgotten that and it’s my favourite anecdote

I made an Italian barista redo my Americano as he did it wrong 🙈

MNers having always tried to show off how middle class they are for the last 20 years.

OP’s post was funny 😆

The ones about little Hugo and antipasti in Waitrose are a worn out old trope.

This is absolutely not wanky. You are just doing the Lords work.

Two art degrees.

I'm not sure that this is wanky but when I hang out the washing outside the back door, I always leave a gap so the dogs can see the comings and goings from their run.

😂😂
Same, a boy racer in modified Corsa that sounded like it was choking on conkers pulled up next to and was revving and inching forward while eyeballing me, my first thought was "we're racing!" I shot off like Lewis Hamilton screaming "eat my dust"
Im 60 and drive a Mini!

If I see shampoo/shower gel bottles which are squeezed so they pinch in the middle, I open
the cap and let air in, so they return to their original shape. This means squeezing them will once again release the contents.

Oh yes: and correcting my husband’s spoken grammar.

You do know that whiskers have a point to them? They help cats detect stuff in front of them, especially in the dark.

Pronounce theatre as thee-et-tah like some kind of spectacularly wanky Mitford sister on her way to the Crit. I have no idea what happened in my childhood to make me get exactly one word this wanky but no-one who ever heard it didn't immediately die of cringe.

Are you me?? 😂 I do this all the time, and he's good enough to say "you're improving me!"

I didn’t buy the avocados in Waitrose because they were Pinkerton, not Hass

I hate this because it doesn’t even make sense, spelling-wise

I have a car that is fast but underrated. The chav cars assume it’s slow. I get pleasure at pulling away from the traffic lights first. Then resume my normal driving mission daisy sped.

pulled out of the works drinks kitty as I can’t drink instant coffee and bring my own cafetière and ground coffee. DP thought I was a coffee snob as I bought my own espresso machine. But he uses it now

i realised in a coffee shop I was ordering a wanky coffee when they shouted lactose free, sugar free vanilla iced latte!!