What's the wankiest thing you'll admit to doing?

[NotDarkGothicMama]

Inspired by this AIBU thread and Sunday lunch.

When I have a particularly large parsnip to prepare, I enjoy waving it around like a club and pretending to be a caveman first.

Great idea!!!!

Easyjet have some good deals!

I have two, I am obviously super wanky.
Last year I bought some cutlery in a charity shop. The forks are sterling silver, they weren’t expensive and I love them. However, they do tarnish. So come Christmas morning and I’m in the kitchen when eldest ds asks if I need any help. My answer of “oh yes please, could you just polish the silver” was met with looks of horror and they ridiculed me for days.

Just last week I bought a gadget to remove bobbles from wool. I had also recently learned from Mumsnet that natural fibre jumpers should be protected in bags with mothballs. So I bought some bags and mothballs.
So my gadget arrived and I merrily say to dh “I’m just going upstairs to debobble and pack my cashmere”
He burst out laughing and I said “I sounded a bit twatty didn’t I”
Err you think 😂😂😂

i have a morning tea cup, broken this morning,
a rest of the day tea cup
a coffee mug
an evening green tea cup

Are you my mum? She did that too!

I do that too. I have an automatic so can often get away more quickly than even the Audi drivers.

That is inspired!

I drink tea out of bone china too. It makes a massive difference to the taste.

And conversely I don't like coffee out of bone china!

I like pronouncing "escalator" as ess-CAL-ah-tor (a bit like Excalibur) so it sounds like a dinosaur. Maybe I should take a parsnip club on my next escalator trip for the full prehistoric experience.

Yeah, that reminds me that I am incapable of pronouncing “laminator” any other way than that deep voice describing films: “LaminaTORRR”.

I refer to the hardware shop as the iron-mong-GERY and the sewing shop as the haber-dash-ERY. I think the pronunciation has something to do with Terry Prachett, but, frankly, I think using the words haberdashery and ironmongery is a bit wanky however I pronounce them.
I also have very specific cups for tea and coffee and only drink freshly ground coffee made in a cafetiere. I always take my coffee, cafetiere and cup on holiday with me. I think this is normal.

When I remember, I try and pronounce Wednesday like a Radio 4 presenter - WEDuhnsDAY- and not like actual me: Wensdee. It's sporadically wanky.

Well, it isn't spelt the-a-tre is it?

Wait...

I am forever going to nick Es-cal-ah-tor though. Sorry not sorry!

that’s the opposite of wanky 😂

I do this too. And I’m not sure why because it’s really none of my business.

I trim the dog’s coat, I’m rubbish at it but he really hates the groomer, and I try to give him a mohican. Bless him.

I had to Google champagne dishes. Makes sense.

I’m not middle class AT ALL! I was born in a council house, grew up in a council house and live in a council house. I get benefits due to multiple auto immune diseases. I’m a scouser and would be considered rough as arseholes. But I still have 4 mugs for various purposes, can have a fascinating and educated conversations with people from all walks in life and can enjoy some of the nicer wanky things too. Just last weekend I enjoyed a thoroughly wanky grazing board that I made for my sisters birthday. Full of Italian meats, cheeses and mini pesto covered mozzarella balls on little fancy forks. Macarons, chocolate dipped strawberries, the works. And we were all drinking pints , singing along to 90s tunes and swearing like troopers. It was great fun!

This evening I had to tell a young woman she couldn’t play netball because her nails were too long (I was the umpire). It broke my heart to tell her this; but it is an official rule, and she refused to cut them, so no game for her.

If they were overly long then I think that’s fair enough. No one would want her to lose a whole fingernail because the ball hit it at the wrong angle, or for her to accidentally scratch another player’s face or poke them in the eye.

I not even joking when I say I still cringe at this

"oh no! I've accidentally sent the message for the tutor to the cleaner...!"

We are far from posh... Just needed a bit of extra help at the time. 🥴

Same. Mine's an electric so just speeds off like a go-kart.

🙄