Worried about my 17-year-old swimming in lakes and rivers with friends

[Ketley67]

I’m worrying myself sick. DS is 17, a few of his friends have learnt how to drive, add in this glorious weather and of course they’re wanting to go to areas with water to swim in.

Yesterday they went to a river, today they’re going to a lake. The lake permits swimming but I’m so worried about them all! I’ve explained the dangers to him.

Not enjoying this age where they’re got a taste of freedom but haven’t fully developed their common sense!

If the lake permits swimming, I wouldn't be so worried.
I regularly swim in open water and really enjoy it.
The best thing is to make sure he is educated about safety. He needs to know about cold water shock, afterdrop, when it is safe to jump in or dive in the water and never to mix swimming and alcohol.

Would he and his friends consider using a tow float? I know it might not seem "cool" ( or goat or whatever the word is these days 😁) and they aren't to be used as a life-saving device but they are great for spotting where you are in the water and for holding onto if you get sudden cramp.

At the very least they should be wearing something brightly colored (but not in the blue end of the spectrum) so they can be spotted in the water.

unless the drip feed is he doesn’t know how to swim then I’m not sure I understand your concern. Honestly cars are a bigger risk than swimming

I’ve told my “intelligent” son who’s 16 and set to get some brilliant GCSEs the same dangers this weekend. Me and his dad have DRUMMED it in. I don’t think he listened. He knows EVERYTHING and me and his dad are just being dramatic apparently. Ridiculous.

He has had two separate groups of friends go in the lakes this weekend so I think it’s a trend? I live in a midlands city and when we were kids we were feral, but we never went into any lakes? The closest lakes are places like Kingsbury where unfortunately a girl did lose her life a day or two ago 😢. This activity is on the increase, my son was getting snapped a lot with friends in lakes.

https://www.rlss.org.uk/news/experts-partner-with-national-charity-to-issue-open-water-swimming-safety-advice-ahead-of-summer-holidays

He should read this and take it seriously before going.

It is fairly safe if you are aware of the risks and swim according.

I'd approach it from the "do it, but you must know the risks and do it appropriately" angle

I would feel the same as you, OP. But it’s good that they are going somewhere where swimming is allowed. All you can do is make sure he understands that there are dangers and to ensure they all look after each other. There are some good tips above, too.

You don’t seen the concern? Really? Do you not read the news?

https://www.mountainwarehouse.com/p/022957/mw/endurance-mens-isocool-active-t-shirt/

Would he wear a t shirt like this at the very least?

edited to add, the bright fluorescent one but seriously a tow float would be even better

I understand. DD16 and DD18 are going to the beach on Friday separately with their friends. DD18 is going to the beach where a 15 year old girl drowned a few days ago. I've sent them both numerous articles on safe swimming, deaths etc but like most teenagers they think they know it all and nothing will happen to them.

Teenage boys drown swimming in rivers and lakes every time there's a heatwave.
They're not sensible, they egg each other on to take risks, they might be drinking.

You might have missed the point

5 deaths yesterday from teens swimming in lakes and rivers. They dragged the dead body of a 12 year old boy out of our local river at 8 pm last night. Heart breaking. Most of the locals understand that the river is more dangerous than it looks. So little education on open water swimming in the UK. My child is club level swimming. They wanted to swim across a river yesterday. I gave them a flat no.

I live beside a river and there are often drownings in hot weather. I wouldn't be happy with my teenager going either.

Four young people have drowned in cold water in the last few days. Plus the three women in Brighton a few weeks ago.

As well as cold water shock, people get stuck in mud, tangled in equipment in reservoirs, get in and can't get out due to steep banks, currents etc.

Friend of DPs is a fire fighter specialising in water rescue and I know he's been involved in some horrific situations. He's also very open with his teen DCs about the potential dangers.

He definitely needs to read the water safety advice, be aware of float to live, and the dangers of peer pressure as well as the water itself. Also not putting further people in danger if someone gets into trouble, which often leads to multiple drownings.

Yes I do … still hundreds more but road than swimming

The most dangerous thing is jumping off stupid things and causing himself a spinal injury. I wild swim. I do it all year round in rivers, lakes and the sea and I tend to do it by myself. I’m not silly and I don’t jump off stuff like a moron. In the summer, assuming they are going to popular spots, water levels will be low and current will be slow. It’s very different in winter when rivers may be in spate. They just need to look after each other and ideally not be drinking.

They often don’t listen to advice. Some do, many don’t. Teenage boys, need I say more.

My son can swim, although that’s not enough. He’s been warned of the dangers by me and his dad. You can only hope underneath the teenage bravado and resistance something does go between the ears.

Sympathy OP, this is such a horrible stage, when they are trying out their wings.

I do think my kids, now in their 20s, are fairly sensible but what really helps is that they don't live wih us any longer so we don't generally know what they are doing till they've already done it.

I vaguely remember saying things like "i know youll be sensible and you know this already but can I just make sure you know about [insert summary of the worst risks and how to avoid them]" - somehow hoping it would plant itself in their subconscious....

One of the main risks is gasping for air because of the cold shock and getting a mouthful of water - this can start the drowning process once you have a lung full. At the very least ask him to enter the water slowly I.e don’t jump straight in off a cliff

You do it all year round so are used to cold water. You didn't get up a few days ago, sit on the bank of a lake getting a bit hot and decide to jump in after a couple of beers.

The problem with rivers though is there can be a strong undercurrent so they look calm on the surface but are anything but underneath. Add to that weeds which people can become entangled in and it can be a recipe for disaster. Teenagers need to be aware of the danger.

Me and my best friend used to swim in here from about 10 years old. It's the salmon leap at Buckfastleigh. (Our mothers would be picnicing nearby, but neither of them could swim). I think parents should take their young children swimming in rivers so that they learn to recognise and respect the dangers and don't have their first experience as drunken teenagers.

I hear you OP. Its been an awful weekend with so many drownings. Unfortunately teenagers have a habit of not heeding good advice. As long as you drill it into him its all you can do

@pinkgown

It could increase confidence though in a way that’s unsafe. My dad was a sailor, he taught us all to swim in the sea efficiently. He would take us out on the boat and we would jump off into big waves and swim from young ages. It was actually me that nearly drowned in Zante as my friends were much, much more cautious. Well I got humbled that day.

There’s also the issue of Weils disease.

These days there are quite a few venues that offer wild swimming in a lake that provide lifeguards.

is he going somewhere like that?

if not, make sure he know about the float to
live advice.

cold water shock is unlikely at the moment - the rivers and lakes are pretty warm - it’s the sea that isn’t and nobody is issuing advice saying don’t swim in the sea,

(my river was 22.2 yesterday and packed full of of paddle boarders canoeists and swimmers)

the danger with teen boys is they dare each other to do stupid things - round my way it’s jumping off the bridge into the river which isn’t safe (6m drop) but getting teen boys to not listen to peer pressure is a whole other game