Worried about my 17-year-old swimming in lakes and rivers with friends

[Ketley67]

I’m worrying myself sick. DS is 17, a few of his friends have learnt how to drive, add in this glorious weather and of course they’re wanting to go to areas with water to swim in.

Yesterday they went to a river, today they’re going to a lake. The lake permits swimming but I’m so worried about them all! I’ve explained the dangers to him.

Not enjoying this age where they’re got a taste of freedom but haven’t fully developed their common sense!

I think the rash vest tops, in bright colours, are at least a start with safety, and avoids sun burn too.

Being able to stand up to peer pressure is a big part of it, as I remember how that's how things would get out of hand when I was a teenager - doing stupid stuff with your friends and accepting dares from people who didn't give a shit about my safety!

It’s perfectly reasonable for people to want to cool off in this heatwave in open water!

however, I would be less worried in lakes that allow swimming.

i would expect a 17 year old to understand you can’t swim in (most) reservoirs or dangerous bodies of water ie rivers with strong currents, lock or weir equipment.

ultimately it would really depend on where they were going tbh.

How can you say that when 3 women just drowned off Brighton sea front?

It happens sporadically and as a parent I would definitely want to know that my son was aware of safety and had his head screwed on before going.

If he was the type to be influenced by peer pressure, e.g. drinking and going in the water because his mates were, then I'd be very worried. Accidents can and do happen.

Yes of course driving is dangerous, but saying that doesn't negate the dangers of open water swimming, especially for a group of young people this age.

OK.... and lots more people die from smoking related illness, air pollution, cardiovascular disease, malaria, influenza than road accidents.

That doesn't mean that driving isn't dangerous.

Pointing out that something is more dangerous than open water swimming is an inane comment.

Educate him rather than try to enforce a blanket no rule.

For people who are interested, there are a lot of places that offer wild swimming with a lifeguard and often other faculties:

https://nowca.org/nowca-lake-directory/

And there are many many places around the country that offer introduction to wild swimming courses where people can try out wild swimming with an instructor for example this one:

https://www.diverscove.co.uk/intro-to-open-water-swimming

In addition the outdoor swimming society have a Facebook page where if you join you can ask about safe swim spots local to wherever you live.

pretty much wherever you are in the country there are groups of wild swimmers and they will often know where is not so safe to swim and where is better. There’s also often local Facebook groups for your area which you can find from the outdoor swimming society.

so you can check out where they are going and see what the dangers are likely to be.

https://www.outdoorswimmingsociety.com/

in general drownings are often in situations where people do not know the river or lake they are swimming in and there are strong currents plus ystt usually a bit of teenagers egging each other on.

a rash vest might help with sunburn but it won’t do anything about teenager peer pressure or strong currents,

The safety advice for if you get into trouble in any water - sea, lake, river or reservoir, is float to live,

float on your back, your natural buoyancy will keep you pretty high up.

https://rnli.org/safety/float

There's a search for boy who was reported missing at Pickmere at 5pm yesterday. It's a lake that is commonly used for open water swimming, so I would actually hesitate on these comments today.

I think the point is not doing an enjoyable activity because you heard 3 people died from it recently it’s at best strange, at worst, quite damaging anxiety. You can’t live your life by the news.
Of course you should have awareness of the dangers, but that’s not poorly understood at a population level.

Someone drowned at my David Lloyd. There is pause for thought then there is general over reaction, to be honest

This doesn't mean the lake itself is inherently dangerous. Inexperienced swimmers, especially those who haven't swum open water before, can get into trouble very quickly. Hence education not a ban.

Ye Gods.

Well I don't disagree with this. But getting trapped in the idea that somewhere is 'safe' because of x, can often lead to its own issues as it leads to a false sense of security.

And this particular comment doesn't look great today given the circumstances regardless of however well intended.

A teenage boy drowned in the local lake. It was a very hot day. But the lake was deep, and cold. It seems he jumped in, out of his depth, and drowned.

Some people are good swimmers and know the risks. A lot more are people used to the swimming baths where you can put your feet down. These people cannot really swim safely, because they do not know how to handle deep water. Nor do they know what cold water does.

Pickmere seems to have a open water swimming paid for place (the Farm cafe) where people can swim with lifeguards etc.

the lake itself is therefore clearly not dangerous a such (small lakes rarely are).

rivers on the other hand are different story and Ribchester where one of the drownings was is on the Ribble at a point where it has very very strong currents and the local outdoor swimmers don’t swim there because it’s too dangerous.

Erm, no, I don't think I have. If you read my previous posts you will see that I regularly swim safely in open water. Wearing something brightly coloured is really important.

Where was that? I didn't think the water would be anywhere near that temperature yet? I swam a lot in rivers, lakes and the sea last summer and only just got to those temperatures in August, after weeks and weeks of hot weather and the river was still about 15/16 C at that time.

Five teens have been reported as drowned so far this week in separate incidents in lakes and rivers. All but one could swim. All reported on the BBC news site.

There's lots of safety advice out there - and on this thread - for kids. Drill it into them. And if the know it all and are dismissive, keep showing them the stories of folks who sadly didn't know. Hopefully, even through teenage bravado, some advice will sink in.

I would share your worry, op. Keep talking to him. Best of luck.

The recent deaths have been tragic.

There is a lack of education around water safety in the uk and many children and teens can’t swim well. I would hope we would have fewer of these dreadful losses if we had more education and awareness of outdoor swimming safety. It is perfectly possible to swim safely outdoors. I swim frequently in reservoirs and seas and know the best places to get in and out and any other concerns. There are so many who do but it’s hard to have conversations about safety when a blanket ban is usually the suggested alternative. Most reservoirs are actually quite safe but some aren’t and some have sections to avoid. There will be local wild swimming groups that have all of this info. Encourage him to be informed, about location, risk factors and how to react.

Many of the deaths are in the 11-15 age group who are poor at assessing risk and often have one one in the group with the skills to help. It is a dangerous thing to try and help a peer in trouble even for experienced swimmers. Your son is with an older group, able to drive and plan and has already chosen one venue that is an official one. Hopefully he is a good swimmer not a I can gasp across a width swimmer. He can learn how to be a safe outdoor swimmer too.

East Anglia

Yeh that’s the route I’m going down. I can’t say no, I wouldn’t want him stuck in doors, I understand them wanting to go.

Thanks for all the replies, parenting is an absolute minefield!

Yes exactly that. Parents should be educating kids from an early age about water, how to be safe etc it just be like teaching them to cross a road, part of parenting. My son is at the beach today (don’t try and rescue anyone and don’t jump off anything - he told me he wasn’t stupid enough to do either - luckily his mates are sensible too).

(sorry for hijacking your thread OP)

people may also find that there are various websites and groups that can advise on good (more safe) swim spots.

i live in east Anglia and Imogen Radford who is the Inland access officer for British swimming has a good website with swim spots, details of access etc for most of east Anglia.

https://www.imogensriverswims.co.uk/blog/

(she also runs introduction to outdoor swimming courses in Norfolk which are amazing and I volunteer on).

You are right to be concerned. I live close to a lake in Ireland and there is at least one drowning every year, usually a visitor or blow-in rather than a local because the locals are more aware of the conditions as they grew up here. There are fast currents and it can be dangerous. We hate seeing the coastguard helicopter flying overhead as it usually means bad news.

My boys can swim reasonably well, but I'm terrified of open water swimming, so when they were young teenagers I went as far as banning them from swimming in the lake on pain of being grounded for the summer. To be fair, they weren't too bothered.

Maybe statistically over a long period but I don't suppose that's much comfort to the families of the young people who have already died this week

Id be concerned too, you always know that sadly deaths are coming when there's a hot snap

As I think people get confused about water temperatures and think they’re the same as air temperatures. But your body loses heat 25 times faster in water than in air