Was I rude for dismissing a stranger who interrupted me on the platform?

[KookyLemonReader]

About a year ago I started a new job in finance in the City which has been very intense. The previous week I have been working very intensely to meet an end of week deadline. I am contractually required to be in the office at least one day a week so on Thurs I dragged myself out to the office. In the early afternoon I was at the local tube station platform waiting for the train and on my laptop deep in work mode when I noticed someone trying to get my attention in my peripheral vision. I turned away from my laptop removed my headphones and listened to the man. He was asking me where my handbag is from. I was very irritated that he interrupted me with this when I was clearly deep in concentration and replied in a cold way ‘I am working’ and went back to my business. A few seconds later I felt bad (also this man was an ethnic minority and I’m a white woman so I worried about that) turned back to him and said I’m sorry I was a bit rude what did you ask. He again asked where my bag is from. I told him the brand (vintage Italian designer). He made some random comment like oh I can’t buy that here I guess. I didn’t engage. Went back to my work. My concentration was lost and I was very annoyed by the whole exchange but also questioning myself. Was I awful or is it fair that he should not have interrupted a clearly full of focus person with a silly question?

An AI would not have got the tense wrong in the second sentence, or structured the timeline so poorly:

The previous week I have been working very intensely to meet an end of week deadline.

I wouldn’t dream of interrupting someone with headphones on and working on a laptop. But then I’m a woman. This is a prime example of how entitled men are and how we feel bad about having boundaries.

I've seen a few posts here. Tales of human woe, that go on and on and on. The sex chair one recently was an example. They just have to be a wind up, as most OP dont go on and on and circle back and then throw out other details to keep the story going. I wonder if someone is doing a PhD on conflict?! I'd be interested at what page number the posters turn on themselves and start arguing. I wouldn't know what it all meant as am not a sociologist.

That is interesting. I'm normally good at spotting these things. Purely speculative, not saying AI is involved, I don't think MN have a policy against users posting AI generated posts. Are you saying there is no user and some random bit of code posted this?

I said from the beginning the bit about sitting at the platform working on a laptop is not a London scenario. This just doesn't happen.

this is a weird thread. He was rude and you reply was polite!

I don't agree with you.

I think any woman sitting on her own in a pub anywhere in any town can reasonably expect that a male will attempt to strike up an unwanted conversation with her. And I don't believe there's only one male in that town, or even probably in that pub, who would do that.

Where do you even live that you are in a community that thinks this is "socially unacceptable"? There was a thread recently about exactly what I've described and a pretty high proportion of women on the thread said the person who was annoyed at having a man place his coat on her chair and interrupt her watching a rugby match was out of order.

It absolutely is seen as socially acceptable by far more people than you are claiming.

And I said that is not that uncommon on the overground outskirts of the tube network where trains are less frequent.

If you are going to accuse the OP of lying do get your facts straight.

Overground 😆

Commonly used term. The London Overground is a different network altogether but major parts of the tube network run overground.

I’ve been reminded of this!

https://www.facebook.com/TheLondonEconomic/videos/445889668539383/?fs=e&s=TIeQ9V&fs=e

Yanbu and you were very kind to have apologized

Of course you weren’t reasonable. And you do realise people used to go into the office every single day before Covid…

How many times are you going to make this assertion? It does.

I meant you Were very unreasonable.

Very rude of you.

I was waiting for my train a couple of weeks ago also on my laptop with AirPods in. A guy who worked at the station as a cleaner approached me to talk. I was a bit annoyed initially because I was like you, in the zone and had a lot to finish before I got home. I didn’t show my irritation though and actually, it was a really pleasant exchange I was glad to have! Being nice can go a long way. The exchange doesn’t harm you, doesn’t last long and has the potential to either make someone feel like shit or resolve an issue/make them smile or whatever. Just be a bit friendlier in future.

Nail on the head. Clearly being occupied doing something else is the universal bugger off sign. Shame so many people of both sexes don’t understand and are so self obsessed they think they’re more important than what you’re doing.

I'm literally in despair that we are still bringing up little girls to think it's their duty to make other people's lives more pleasant.

"The exchange doesn't harm you"

You don't know that until you start it and having started it you can't get out of it. You were a lot safer in that regard taking to a station employee than a random stranger.

Can’t believe in this day and age so many women falling over themselves to appease men and berating the op for not doing that (although she did go against her first instincts in the end). How fucking depressing.

If a man really wants to know where somebody got a handbag (he didn’t - he’s just asserting himself), they’d wait for a moment where she’d stopped ‘working’ maybe to get on the train. But according to the posters on this thread, the male entitlement must be obeyed by submissive politeness. God forbid we’d ever speak plainly! 🙄

I was on an empty platform, not a busy tube station so in that regard I wasn’t safer than someone surrounded by people… I’ll be honest, safety didn’t even enter my mind. He just wanted to have a little chat with me and I enjoyed the exchange, he was sweet.

Would it be better if a woman had interrupted her for the same reason?

No, you were safer because you knew where his job was and how you could report him if necessary.

Imdunfer, I think you're talking to quite a few brick walls this morning, I wouldn't waste my breath! Especially with the one who seems to know nothing about the Tube because they've never heard of the Overgound.

ps. off-topic, but I hate that the lines have 'names' now - it's just so unnecessary, no one cares!

It would have but you would think it would have been picked up on by the person who did the prompt. I won't go into more details as to why I think ai is involved as I don't want responses to be used to train ai.

To add to the digression - about the lines having ‘names' now - I’ve not lived in London for many decades, and not travelled by public transport there for fewer decades, but surely the tube lines have always had names? Or have I completely missed that there are now train lines in London which have names in the same way as the underground?