Cocaine mum friends

[Seymour45]

Need some advice. A good friend took cocaine in front of me at a party and now I feel I don't really want to hang out. Am I wrong and naive? Does this happen more often than not? It had me thinking - is cocaine any worse than getting pissed? Am confused...

My mates were very into party drugs and raving etc in youth (but not cocaine because £££). Since having kids in their thirties no one does drugs anymore.

Middle class/middle aged coke consumption must be concentrated in certain social groups. You'd need the cash for starters!

I would want nothing to do with anyone who takes cocaine. I don't hang around with criminals and those that support criminal exploitation.

Cocaine isn't a minor blip like getting a parking ticket. It's a serious thing.

I would instantly leave and never see a friend again if they took drugs. I'm not involving myself in that world.

It is very fair, but I think you know that.

My friends at least try to do the right thing. That doesn't mean I think I or they are perfect, but choosing to traffic/exploit women and children when there are readily available other options is too far for me.

I've never found out a good friend did cocaine, but I have found out early on in friendships and not pursued those friendships further. I have cut off a good friend for constantly shopping on Shein.

Obviously it depends on how often they're doing it, and when, but it's not difficult to function while doing cocaine occasionally. Probably easier than it is to function while drinking heavily, I'd say. A cocaine high doesn't tend to last very long, and for most people the after-effects are nowhere near as horrible as a hangover. Plus, cocaine is a stimulant and makes people feel livelier and more awake and more confident, so I think some people who take it probably feel it actually helps them to function (ill-advisedly, of course).

I'm not a cocaine user, and I wouldn't want to go out with people who were - it's really not my thing at all and I find people incredibly annoying when they've just taken it. I certainly wouldn't condone it and there are clearly loads of dangers associated with it. YANBU to want no part of it and YANBU to feel the way you do about your friend using it.

But I used to work in an industry were cocaine use was notoriously rife and in my experience most people who are using cocaine occasionally and moderately are probably functioning perfectly OK in their normal daily lives.

Of course, that's not the case for people who are shoving it up their nose on a daily basis, and the risk of becoming someone who does that is a very good reason not to start using it.

Get rid.

I wouldnt (and dont) end good friendships over this, i really dont feel that strongly about it. But someone can end a friendship for any reason they want so you absolutely can stop seeing this person.

Have to say though I was surprised when i realised a friend of a friend was off her face on molly at a gig recently, she always seemed so square 😂 and my very posh boss loves a joint 😳

I agree op.

I was very naive about drugs (even through uni) and didn't realise until I was about 35 how many folk my age did coke. Really made me re-evaluate some friendships, especially amongst friends who had kids and not a lot of spare cash - moaning about the cost of school shoes but shoving £100 at least up their noses every single weekend.

Apparently I'm a prude because I never took anything offered to me at a couple of house parties. Meh. I've got better things to prioritise my spending on thankyouverymuch

It's absolutely fine to judge and not want to be friends with someone who does coke. Sadly it's common among the mums where I live and I came very close to ditching a friend at Christmas because she has developed a serious habit she lies about and I've had enough of it. It makes her extremely boring and erratic, not to mention she's in her 40s with a young daughter so I seriously judge her parenting.

DP is best mates with her DH and their DD is very close to our DD so he urged me not to cut her off and I've just distanced myself subtly. A few of us did once try to stage an intervention and my friend and her DH completely closed ranks. I think it's harder when you have a long standing friendship with someone - if I met anyone new with a habit I wouldn't give them the time of day in the first place.

So judge away op.
Don’t hang out with your mate.
It’s no big issue.

I think amongst middle class party people it is fairy common. It depends on the demographic but I can usually spot the crowd who are likely to use it:

• Middle aged Essex yuppies who like to party hardy for Facebook ‘likes’
• ’Keep up with the Jones’ party people
• ‘Married with kids’ aged people who go on regular ‘Boy’s or Girl’s’ only holidays to Ibiza. Especially when the revellers dress a good 20-30 years younger than their actual age and plaster the pics all over social media. Zoom in and you’ll spot the dilated pupils.

Now I like to dress up and enjoy my drink (sensibly) but I don’t want to snort coke and pretend I am still 22, prancing around Marbs or Ibiza in a diamanté bikini. This is because I am nearing my fourth decade and have kids! Everything has its season and my season of raucous shenanigans are over (with great memories to last forever!!)

But it's already been legal.
Cocaine was legal until the 1920's along with opium and morphine. You could pop to your local chemist and buy it for a few pennies.
Amphetamines were legal until the 1960s and it only became illegal to cultivate cannabis in Britain in 1964.
Not forgetting the numerous failed attempts to ban gin in the 18th century.

I'm no fan of cocaine because however 'fun' people think they are the ones I've met just come across as loud and irritating arseholes.

Making drugs illegal is part of the problem as it encourages an underground criminal market. It's a bit different walking into your local chemist and buying a perfectly legal drug and takes some of the excitement and danger away from it. Popping to Boots is also a lot less cool than making arrangements for some dodgy bloke to drop stuff round your house, meet in a pub toilet or car parked up somewhere.

It isn’t legal. It is also very impactful on heart health. People who take it often don’t live very long. People think it is safe, it really is not.
Just because other people might say they do it ( people say things for effect) doesn’t mean they really do. Some possibly.
But a clear no from me. Properly you should report it.

One friend of mine does it regularly but lives in central London living the high life.

None of my close friends at home up north do it (nurses, teachers, lawyers, marketing) and perhaps would try back in their early 20s (15 years ago) but never now mid-30s and especially not with children. I know people via the gym that do it pretty obviously in their 30s-40s and have kids, jobs etc and 1) can’t afford it 2) will be driving with drugs in their system the next day and 3) will be stashing leftovers in their homes with their children. These people are not “glam” big city worked out till 4am - they’ve a group that are trying to maintain their youth with responsibilities and kids but taking it when it gets late on at the pub or BBQs. They lie to their wives faces and I got uncomfortable knowing they were doing it. We’re not friends anymore for other reasons, but I’m happy we don’t mix with them anymore for that and other reasons.

I’d ditch the friendship socialising other than dry lunches, park meet ups with kids or coffee where you know she won’t do it.

Report it?!?

To the police?!

The police don't follow up on "someone I know does drugs".

(Ah can't edit to add quote but was responding to the suggestion to report, obviously)

Don't see how the past is relevant? Coke used to have cocaine in it. Then we learn about the harm drugs do to the human body. Like no more arsenic from the Victorian era in our tonics and wallpapers.

No government is going to make coke legal. There's no appetite for it politically and it doesn't stop the suffering over the world even if it was legal in the UK. We can't produce cocaine in this country afaik.

I must move in different circles since I only know one person who used coke and it got him in a lot of debt and trouble.

You're a bit of a hypocrite then arent you? You shouldn't be cherry picking things you find offensive. So you take a hard stance on county lines but that phone you're typing on. Bits of it were mined by slaves. You're ok with that? Ever shopped at primark shien or temu? Made by slaves.

You had a gut reaction to it, an instinct. You don’t need to overrule that.

I can cherry pick what I like. For me, drugs is a hard line. No, I'm not OK with my phone being mined by slaves but modern life is not possible without a phone. My phone isn't illegal and the people that made my phone, although exploited, have not been trafficked for sex. I'm not moaning about the social consequences of county lines in my neighbourhood and then snorting shit up my nose at the weekend - THAT is the very definition of hypocrisy!

And, no, I haven't ever shopped at temu, shien or primark, EVER! FFS half the veg I eat has probably been picked by people being exploited but I can choose to support the exploitation in the drugs trade and I choose not to and I judge my friends who choose to support it and am perfectly happy to call them ex friends.

I make no apologies for my hard line on drugs and never will.

Oh goodness. This is me currently, mid thirties and only beginning to see it. Late teens and early twenties we had a group of friends some would just drink others would have some party drugs, it never seemed a big deal back then , I thought most just grew out of it and would just have a drink these days

different friends now but oh my god, sooo many people from all different groups do it! I've had an existential crisis over it 😂 I feel like the minority not doing it! Such a strange feeling.

Thanks everyone. I'm surprised that someone said opiods from chemists are the same as cocaine. I hate the fact that cocaine is soaked in blood and am really shocked that a fellow mum would do it. For me it's seedy and just bang out so I'm giving her a wide berth. Thanks x

All fun & games till they create a massive hole in their nose & pockets or fuck their body up which will happen even if its usage just once a week.
you can always tell whose a coke head as they go pale, always tired etc.

Just stay away from people like that, 1, the fact they have to use drugs to have fun says they are boring as fuck 2, they will just drag you into their untimely demise.

I would distance myself. I do know people that used drugs through university for parties, but became a full blown habit in adulthood and they lost everything. They have had to work very hard to rebuild and manage their addiction so they do not relapse. They are always a line away from it all going to shit. I just don't think it's worth it!

The risk of all of that and the drug trade itself is awful; everything that has already been stated, dealers; county lines.....absolutely awful, just to feel a bit 'up' for a few hours.

Ha ha! No way will it be legalised in the next four years. Utterly delusional or just thick.