Cocaine mum friends

[Seymour45]

Need some advice. A good friend took cocaine in front of me at a party and now I feel I don't really want to hang out. Am I wrong and naive? Does this happen more often than not? It had me thinking - is cocaine any worse than getting pissed? Am confused...

This crossed a boundary for you
alcohol is legal
drugs aren’t

It's fine if you don't want to hang out with people who do coke. But if she was on it before and you liked her company nothing has really changed except you now know she does it. If you can still enjoy her company then I personally wouldn't terminate the friendship. But you can step back for whatever reasons if it makes you feel uncomfortable.

It would certainly make me reevaluate my friendship with her to be honest. There are so many people used and abused in the drug industry.

It's super common. I work in events and almost everyone I see does it.
It's absolutely fine if you don't want to engage with her but I bet she's not the only one of your friends

thanks that's interesting. I wonder if it gives you a worse hangover or side effects than alcohol. I had no idea she did cocaine. I'm put off her to be honest

It does. I haven’t touched anything in over a year now but I used to. You don’t sleep and you spend the next day absolutely hating yourself. It’s not a good feeling at all and I now don’t hang out with people who do drugs.

some of my “friends” on my birthday said they’re going to get coke before they come back to mine, knowing full well I stopped and I don’t want to be around it anymore.

so they aren’t my friends anymore. Nobody came back to mine. Some 30th huh

Well it's not common amongst my friends and I wouldn't associate with her again.

I read a book by Toby Muse 'Kilo'
It's from leaf and the processes that 1 kilo goes through till it'reaches it's export destination .

Its metaphorically soaked in blood and that's before it reaches the UK to cause more mayhem.
The weekend toot..comes at a heavy price for others.

I’ve never seen it or known anyone who takes it. I don’t think it’s that common.

Yes it’s more common than you’d think and a lot of people consume it that you wouldn’t think would but that doesn’t make it ok.

You don’t need to justify to anyone if you want to end the friendship.

@clearlyy well done on resisting not getting back on it.

Coke wasn't my drug of choice it was amphetamine 20+years.

You have to walk away at some point.

Respectfully, they're not going to call you up and tell you, and if you don't recognise the signs of someone on it, you're not going to be aware of people you know taking it, unless you actually walk in on them.

You're obviously going to get different advice from different perspectives, and there's no right or wrong answer.. I have personally never so much as smoked a cigarette. My wild times consisted of a LOT of JD and Coke, but that was it. I have plenty of friends who did all sorts of things but I never really cared as long as they were keeping it to nights out, and not when we were, say, chilling indoors.

I might think less of them if they were doing it after they had children.

Its very common.

Did you have any issues with her before? Seems a little unfair to write her off for this.

Why do you care what she does with her body?

Thank you! It’s hard when all your mates do it but now I just don’t talk to them anymore. My circle is very small now. Well done for coming off the amphetamines. 👏🏻

I have used it occasionally. Never had a hangover (however I rarely get a hangover with alcohol so could just be me )

This would be my issue with it.

It would definitely put me off being around someone in any situation where I thought they might take it so would make me row back the friendship to daytime/coffee meet ups etc.
I also do judge people who choose to use illegal substances after they’ve had kids because it could literally destroy that child’s life if the parent went to prison or, worst case scenario, died from a bad batch.

I think it depends on where you live and the amount of money your friends have. Where I live poor area cannabis and pills are common but im guessing a rich area of london cocaine is a lot more common

Never known cocaine to give anyone a hangover, it usually mutes the effects of alcohol and helps avoid an alcohol hangover. So I don’t think it’s just you!

Agree with PP, it’s incredibly common. It’s not my drug of choice because it doesn’t do shit for me, but most people in my social circle do it (middle class professionals in 30s and 40s).

You could cut off this friend, OP, but you’re probably unknowingly friends with other users.

Lots of people do things that are not legal or that we disapprove of or have different beliefs about or wouldn't do ourselves and if we cut off every friend who (for example) uses cocaine occasionally, gets drunk, speeds on an empty motorway, watches porn, doesn't boycott who we boycott, makes a cash payment to avoid VAT, doesn't re-cycle and uses huge quantities of disposable aluminium, and so on and so on, and we might not have any friends left.

Loads of people will do a little line or two at a party occasionally and not at any other time.

Light use doesn't give you a hangover or bad after effects. Hence its popularity, I suppose.

The people I know who are occasional; / social / party users are all mc professionals. Work in finance, creative industries, a hospital consultant, people in their 60s...

One friend, a doctor, uses small amounts as they believe it helps regulate attacks of severe depression "Systematic Review: Is There a Medicinal Use of Cocaine in Psychiatry?" by Andrew Troy Hodge, Robert Strayhan et al.

I stopped immediately many years ago when I read about women having their children held hostage to ensure they completed 'drug mule' trips. And that is the message I gave my Dc - all very woke in terms of fighting oppression. I have explained that social smoking of weed supports modern slavery in illegal hydroponic farms and is behind county lines and gang warfare in which people get shot and stabbed.

Yes, that's why I've done it twice in my life, a long time ago, and desisted. I remember it feeling absolutely wonderful, but it's a spectacularly dirty and exploitative industry, to say nothing of its criminality.

Drugs in your early 20's is one thing - but in your 30's/40's? It's just a bit sad really isn't it.
I haven't had a friend who did it since I was at uni nearly 30 years ago.

It is.

But before anyone cuts off a friend for occasional coke use...consider our own and friend's roles in all forms of worldwide exploitation:
Slavery in supply chains | Anti-Slavery International
The reality of this is children forced to mine cobalt for use in the latest mobile phones, or women forced to produce coffee for one of our best-known brands.

I am not trying to engage in 'whataboutery' here to excuse coke use - not at all - but to ask why if we cut off friends for one thing, not for others? Because we risk living in a lonesome bubble ruled solely by our own values and sensitivities.

Pretty common but you don't have to be part of it.... it's should not be normalised. it's not cool.
I say this as someone who took a lot of drugs in my past.