Staff reaction to unwell elderly woman at supermarket till

[Ketley67]

I was in a supermarket , at the till. There was an elderly couple in front of me. The man was dressed smartly, the lady looked awful, she had greasy hair which stuck to her head, ulcers on her legs, she was hunched over the trolley using it to hold herself up and she smelt absolutely awful, very strongly of urine and body odour.

As soon as they’d been served and walked away a member of staff appeared and sprayed room spray all around where they’d been standing, he pulled a disgusted face as did the lady on the till who then turned to me and laughed. I didn’t react.

I just felt awful for that lady. I’m recently disabled myself and I can easily see how without the correct support you can end up like this. You are so vulnerable. The staff members were relatively young, probably not had enough life experience to see anything other than a smelly woman.

Just wanted to share really, it made me so sad.

Some people young or old just aren’t very nice. And nothing to do with earnings or training. Just basic decency.

The strangest thing, I read your thread OP then this morning my colleague told us about this happening to her in the shops last night. As in…she witnessed it (edited to add). Was this a town in Shropshire?

If they waited until the people had left did thay do anything that awful?

It's sad and some empathy would be nice, but it's their working environment, they're entitled to not want it to smell bad.

So you'd be perfectly happy for someone to act like that if it was your friend or relative (or your future self)? What if the person turned around or they had a friend/relative still at the checkouts and they saw it.

As I said....if the people had already left.

No I wouldn't be happy that my friend or relative was receiving such poor care as to be in that condition, but I don't know why that should mean supermarket staff should be expected to work in those conditions.

Do you think it's appropriate in that situation for staff to be pulling faces at each other, in full view of other customers? I'd expect them to have more respect than that.

And as expressed elsewhere in the thread - it's not always about poor care. In some situations, particularly where people are living with dementia, it can be very difficult to get them to accept personal care support. That doesn't mean they should be mocked or treated as disgusting.

I used to take my wonderful Mum to M&S all time. She then developed Alzheimer's and eventually got to the stage where she was refusing to change her clothes or clean her teeth. She got hysterical and quiet violent if you tried to 'make' her. I can tell you I was devastated and very very aware of how she looked and smelt. Trouble was she had us siblings in our roles.. mine was taking her out to M&S then Morrisons for lasagne.. As soon as I appeared at the door of her care home she was dragging me out again..
Once or twice she was incontinent and I had to change her in the loos. Just when we as a family and with the help of the care home staff decided it was too awful for me to take her out she got poorly and died.
Do you know what? The Staff in M&S couldn't have been nicer. Even when she left poo crumbs on the way to the toilet..
I'll never forget their kindness even whilst I was dying of embarrassment..
I definitely would be complaining..

I used to go to a writing class and one of the men were so smelly it made me feel ill. I solved it by putting vicks round my nose.

I would speak to the manager and let them know how uncomfortable their staff made you. If you're in a public facing job you need to deal with every customer with respect.

They hadn’t left, they had just moved away from the till, we walked past them after we’d been served so they hadn’t gone far away at all.

Do you work in Lidl?

I think if you react to someone being rude/ making a joke at a vulnerable persons expense etc with a smile or giggle you are also part of the rude behaviour,reinforcing it's an ok thing to do. To ridicule and treat people like they are less than human because they have a disability,or in an unfortunate situation.I have called people out many times,and to think of it being a loved one of theirs..Sounds like the lady may have dementia, and her husband is her carer.My mum started to refuse to be helped to clean her,my dad done his best,but there were times she was out not looking or smelling the cleanest...I hope you are feeling better soon OP x

I experienced this once. Mum was pushing dad in his wheelchair along the river by some houseboats, and dad was making his brain damage gurgling noises which sound very odd.

I was enough distance behind because I was with the dog and she’d just pooped that I caught the reaction of these guys on the houseboat who were there on a jolly, and they were mocking and imitating him.

have to say I didn’t hold back and gave them a very thorough dressing down and honestly they were like school children and looked absolutely mortified. Bear in mind I was about 25 at the time and they were mid -40s/early 50s.

got no patience for any of that BS, whether I’m related to them or not.

Blimey, I thought they were teenagers, then got to the part where they're 40s or 50s!

Well done on calling out the behaviour 👏🏻

The cashier on the till in TESCO once made a rude comment about me to the lady behind me in the queue and pulled a face at me behind my back as I walked away from the checkout (not due to my appearance but insinuating I was a nuisance as I'd queried the price on something). It backfired on her when she realised the lady behind was my sister, who immediately pulled her up on talking about me like that.

I feel on here some are only happy when they are being mean. Ignore.

If I see poor customer service I report it to the company's head office, I've done this on 2 occasions and had very positive replies. I would not however intervene at the time, unless the people receiving poor service were upset, because it can draw more attention to them. It's likely this poor lady was suffering from dementia, incontinent and possibly refusing attempts at personal hygiene, her poor husband is maybe battling on at home🫤

No, a complete coincidence. A play on words after watching the Send Help movie

As others have said I would report, over looking after my elderly mum at the moment, old age isn’t pretty and said young staff should remember that, they will have elderly parents one day and you don’t know a strangers circumstances 😔

Oh. The poor wee soul. I have an enlarged heart and as a result I have neuropathy on my feet and lower legs. The skin gets very tight and swollen, the slightest bump causes the skin on my legs to leak. I usually require anti biotics at this point. If this poor lady had leg ulcers it sounds like her partner needs to take her to the doctors. My partner is 70 now,but he is very supportive. When you are young,you dont realise that your life can ' turn on a sixpence.

This 👆

Thank you for caring OP. Posts like yours give hope that there is still kindness and decency and most of all empathy about.
People can be thoughtless really.

you’re over reacting and your focus is on the wrong people.

Why was the man she was with smartly dressed etc when she is neglecting basic hygiene & struggling to be mobile, with untreated ulcers etc. She can’t wash independently or treat her medical issues but is fit enough to be pushing a trolley around the grocery store and doing the food shop. it seems like the situation is more complex and more serious than you give credit for. It sounds like a situation where adult social care might be required. Regardless of what the woman is going through, the neglect you explain can cause strong, unpleasant odours.

And it’s totally normal for others to not be able to endure such strong smells, it’s a natural biological reaction to find bad smells repulsive. You feel sorry for her so are trying to attack the actions of low paid shop staff from merely reacting to the smell.

as a visitor you can simply leave the shop to get away from strong, unpleasant odours so it’s not a problem for you as it’s a fleeting moment. It’s not for them, as it’s their working environment. In the moment they can’t abandon their job/the till to get fresh air nor can they open a window. You’re underestimating how unpleasant, distracting, and uncomfortable having to work in that environment can be. It realistically was a shit situation for everyone for different reasons.

If there’s air fresheners at the till, the manager would have paid for them and put the air freshener there to be used.

This
Say it upset you and made you feel really uncomfortable as their customer