How did I recognise a fellow Mumsnetter while in Spain?

[UrsulasHerbBag]

I met a mumsnetter in Spain... How did I recognise her? (Just for fun, but I did meet one of us in the wild and there was a recognising factor).

She also kept saying she cooks from scratch and everything is homemade

She bought a chicken which kept her family fed for the whole week's holiday.

She ran out of the loos because she thought she saw a transwoman? And then tried to engage you on the issue 🤣

She absentmindedly stood bottomless next to the pool whilst blowing up an inflatable, and her DH shouted "YOUR MINGE" to alert her to this?

You heard her shout LTB to a woman who’s husband wouldn’t give her a euro?

Was she on glue?

Was her four year old reading War and Peace?
Was she berating the complete stranger on the next sun lounger for never having learnt to drive?

or did she have her ducks in a row?

Was her DH out cycling? Did she have a cheque book? Or were you present in the Sistene Chapel when she snapped and farted?

Did she say something quite intriguing and ask a question then disappear in a puff of smoke?

And complaining that 'it wasn't a holiday for her' because she 'had' to clean their accommodation, despite it being cleaned thoroughly by professional cleaners between each sets of guests.

At the bar did she accidentally ask for a penis beaker rather than a extra glass to take up to her room?

That she couldn't finish...

She said someone can fuck off to the far side of fuck and when they get there they can fuck off some more.

Was she screaming at a beautifully decorated ceiling?

She ordered a massive salad from the restaurant.

Did she inhale the buffet each night while claiming she only had a salad?

She spent all day on her phone while complaining her husband wasn’t pulling his weight with the childcare

Was she ‘shaking’ after a minor altercation when someone politely asked her to move her chair slightly to the left so they could get past?

Was she entertaining three pre-schoolers at lunch with verbal games and improving conversation? Did she contain their holiday excitement with a smile and gentle “shush”? Did she look pained at junior iPads at surrounding tables and screaming toddlers running around the restaurant?

Did she tell you to go to A&E NOW

Did she correct your SPAG.

Did she say HTH as a condescending mic drop?

Did you see her sitting on her balcony and when you knocked her door she didn't answer it, just incase you were a criminal with ulterior motives and you hadn't called or text her with a weeks notice you were coming?

Was she on a laptop, bashing the keyboard with her tits?

Was it at the pool with a horrified bloke shouting "your minge!!"?

Apologies; I feel I have lowered the tone.