I hurt my baby co sleeping

[Bumpyroads]

Baby is a terrible sleeper, we co sleep and I feel very sleep deprived.
I have always talked in my sleep however last night I had a nightmare and got very angry in my sleep.
We were co sleeping and baby was sleeping in the crook of my arm.
I bit him in my sleep hard on his eyebrow, I woke up immediately to him crying I thought I had bitten his eye and immediately started shouting at my husband to turn on the light. Im so upset about it he has red teeth marks which will probably leave a bruise.
Not sure I can tell anyone in real life so posting here

Are you sure your baby isn’t using you like a dummy? I had this and when I curbed the breastfeeding to morning and night we both slept amazingly!

You’re doing your best, it’s all any of us can do.

You need to stop co sleeping as others have said. My partner is like this and talks, screams, hits and what not in his sleep. I am pregnant and have kicked him out on a separate bed as he kept hitting my stomach and rolling over ob my bump in his sleep! I have told him he is not allowed to hold have the baby when he is sitting/laying in the bed or safe when she comes as he constantly falls asleep and I am terrified he will hurt her accidentally. I am seriously considering having him in another room from her.

I am not sure doctors will do much if anything about your sleep and nightmares but you should never sleep with your baby.

I agree with you. My son was low birthweight and was feeding every 1.5 to 2 hours. One night I was feeding him then suddenly heard a thud and discovered I’d dropped him. He landed on a soft carpet and thankfully was fine other than a few small scratches. He was much safer snuggled in bed with me after that.

This is why we started co sleeping I was falling asleep feeding him.
And yes I know he's using me as a dummy, there is no question about it.

Sorry I’ve not read the full thread, only your replies so I apologise if this has been suggested already but would you consider a sleep coach? A few of my friends were in very similar co sleeping situations and paid for a sleep coach. It was a lot of money but it worked for all of them. They were given a coach to chat to, created a proper nap and day routine and after a month, it all started to fall into place for them. I very much considered it for my second child but my dh was very hands on, unlike yours sadly.

You need a break, what days is your husband off? For his next day off tell him to take the baby out for the full day allowing you a chance to do whatever you want or arrange something for you to do out the house. Your husband needs to step up and be more involved!

Definitely cut down then and be strict. I never used a dummy to replace, they just knew after the last feed that was it til morning after one night. We were both so relieved, it was odd.

He isn’t using you for a dummy. Dummy’s were made to imitate the nipple. It’s a very natural thing for a baby to do.

@Bumpyroads is it possible to move him to his own room? Both mine slept better away from me waking them up. They also did better with cot pillows.

I think you've made a really positive first step trying to break the cosleeping when it's no longer safe. I do feel what you really need is a solid stretch of sleep though. It sounds like deprivation has you at breaking point and making any changes in that condition is so hard.

But the baby doesn’t need feeding all night, they’re 11 months old and Mum is delirious with sleep deprivation. I carried on breastfeeding for another 7 months after I stopped offering my nipple for comfort all night at the same age. It’s not good for either of you.

Did I say they did? I’m merely pointing out something that is wrong that most people say. Babies do not use breasts as dummies. They are doing something that is natural. That is just a fact. I think it definitely helps mindset by thinking in a more positive way.

If DS is using you as a dummy, would to consider trying an actual dummy (if you haven’t already)? I did with DC2 and he was a much much better sleeper than DC1 (who flat out refused a dummy but also had lots of feeding issues too which were likely connected).

But what I’m saying is when that option was taken away we both slept better, so it doesn’t matter if it’s natural, stopping it might help OP and her baby get more sleep! It was literally within 24 hours my baby got used to this and slept through all night for the first night ever.

Sorry, I haven’t read the full thread, just all of your replies. If sleep training or cot don’t go well, would you consider a floor bed? Then you can feed to sleep and roll away. This might help baby get a bit more used to sleeping alone as well. We moved our son into a double floor bed at 18 months and I wish we did it sooner. His sleep improved drastically and, on bad nights, one of us just crawled on in.

OP is so delirious with sleep deprivation that she unwittingly hurt her baby and you think what this situation needs is no change but a bit of positive thinking?

Ok???
It didn’t help when I stopped. My daughter didn’t sleep through until gone 3.

This - it’s really dangerous

you also need to get yourself to the GP regarding your nightmares/ sleep habits. This is NOT normal to bite someone in your sleep!

I Put all mine in cots I never co-slept there was a lady near me who’s child somehow fell out the bed and broke their arm as a tiny baby and it totally put me off! This was when I was pregnant 15 odd years ago.

Another typical mumsnetter response. Twisting what I’ve wrote to have an argument.

Hope you have a great evening!

My DD is definitely using me as a dummy/soother, after the first 2 feeds i can hear she isn’t actually getting anymore milk as she is no longer swallowing, but will continue to suckle.

Have you had your bloods tested? After a year of breastfeeding I was barely keeping my eyes open in the day and quite unwell, after three blood tests and concern that I might have had a stroke it was actually just low folic acid.

I also really recommend calm and bright sleep support for a sleep training plan.

A very good start, you don’t have to do everything at once, my DD is 2 and i have only this last couple months stopped feeding to sleep at bedtime, i still feed to sleep in the night and cosleep with her, i have 4 older kids who were bottle fed and sleeping through most nights by 1, breastfeeding is a whole different ball game seriously, i have the experience of raising 4 kids (including twins) but i still can’t get around stopping breastfeeding in the night, with a bottle its simple, you just take it away, cant take away your breasts, all well and good people suggesting rocking or patting etc but when your bloody tired -all you want to do is get baby back to sleep so you can sleep.

Is he eating enough during the day?

Honestly at 11 months I’d be stoping the BF.
He’s using it as comfort.

I would start bottle feeding asap but for now feed him to sleep, then you move away and sleep on the floor or in a different room.
Put a T-shirt that smells like you next to him.

Do not fall asleep next to him.

You can't go on like this op, you've made a great start to the weaning.

Does your H know how bad things got today?

I think you really need to sleep train properly and get baby in their own bed.

You need to stop co sleeping. He is capable of sleeping in his own bed- everyone does it eventually. Just keep persisting with it; go in and soothe him as much as you need to for both of your sakes. Your dreams sound quite something!!! x

FWIW I hate the phase ‘sleep training’.
it sounds barbaric and makes people (mums) think that if they put baby in own bed; it’s mean! Completely untrue. You don’t need to ‘train’- whatever that means; you just need to do bedtime and put baby in own bed. Go in and soothe; sit there and soothe; use lighting / music / stories whatever helps you stay sane and baby to drift off. Repeat this! It doesn’t need to be some kind of harsh / mean / full of crying drawn out mission.

good luck @Bumpyroads