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I hurt my baby co sleeping

368 replies

Bumpyroads · 11/05/2026 11:30

Baby is a terrible sleeper, we co sleep and I feel very sleep deprived.
I have always talked in my sleep however last night I had a nightmare and got very angry in my sleep.
We were co sleeping and baby was sleeping in the crook of my arm.
I bit him in my sleep hard on his eyebrow, I woke up immediately to him crying I thought I had bitten his eye and immediately started shouting at my husband to turn on the light. Im so upset about it he has red teeth marks which will probably leave a bruise.
Not sure I can tell anyone in real life so posting here

OP posts:
pineapplecrushed · 13/05/2026 19:16

Bumpyroads · 11/05/2026 14:05

Just to put it in most basic terms as lots of people dont seems to understand.

I follow safe sleep 7, baby head was resting in the crook of my arm as I was feeding laying down and my boob's are not big enough to reach him if his head is on the mattress. Lactation consultant has witnessed me feeding like this, its fine.

I know its not safe to continue co sleeping, we have established that. Im more not looking for next steps advice.

We have a next 2 me forever. Its the transfer that makes him wake up. It is very difficult to contort and feed him while he's in it as there is a ridge where the side drops down.

I am afraid of falling asleep while sitting up.

At the moment he will only feed to sleep. I know this is bad but its where we are.

Same for naps.

What would everyones advice be if I was a single parent? Because obviously saying husband should be doing xyz isn't going to help me tonight.
I am also scared of the even further lack of sleep in the meantime while I sleep train and how I will function considering I am almost at breaking point as it is.

I dont think you would know its a bite mark unless I told you. A red eyebrow at the moment.

I have recently been discharged for the perinatal mental health team, hence the new health visitor appointments and why I am so worried about telling them.

I think thats everything covered

when you are near the end of feeding put on some white/pink/brown noise quite loud for the transition to his cot. It should be quite loud, louder than you think. I used to have it on when feeding but if you are sleepy yourself it might make you go off, so turn it on a couple of minutes before you stop.

Nearly50omg · 13/05/2026 19:17

Get your iron levels checked for a start! The NHS “fine” levels are so low most of us aren’t able to function properly and are exhausted all the time. Also the father of the baby needs to be doing 50% of the nights unless he’s a pilot or surgeon!

XMissPlacedX · 13/05/2026 19:51

I would treat this as a warning OP. This time thank goodness he was ok, next time you might not be so lucky. I know it’s upsetting and you sound heartbroken, but you need to stop co sleeping now.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

FasterMichelin · 13/05/2026 20:12

Delatron · 13/05/2026 13:58

It does not need to make up a large part of their nutrition at night..and it’s detrimental to their appetite in the day if it does.

As a mother of three healthy children, I’ll agree to disagree.

Delatron · 13/05/2026 21:06

FasterMichelin · 13/05/2026 20:12

As a mother of three healthy children, I’ll agree to disagree.

So it’s healthier for them to get most of their nutrition at night versus the day. Ok!

ButterYellowFlowers · 13/05/2026 22:45

If you’re sleep desprived when they co sleep and sleep deprived when they’re not surely you just choose the safer option? Because either way they’re not sleeping.

The fact you BIT your baby obviously means you’re not a safe co sleeper.

ButterYellowFlowers · 13/05/2026 22:50

MyKindHiker · 11/05/2026 12:55

I think more normal than you'd guess. People just don't talk about it. My partner sleep talks whole conversations sometimes, I've lashed out before or sleepwalked and done strange things. Walked naked into housemate's room at uni which was awkward. Woken with odd bruises where I've obviously gone walkabout in the night and bumped into things.

Just because you’ve done it a lot doesn’t mean it’s normal…. Most people don’t ’go walkabout’ while sleeping.

Bumpyroads · 14/05/2026 05:58

Just wanted to update how sleep training is going.
First night was hard however last night he only woke twice and settled withing 5 -10 mins both times.
We are following the ferber method. He's in his own room. I did cry as I miss him being next to me but I know its for the best.
What i think has made the biggest difference to myself is he has started having naps in his cot! Again settling within 10mins. Yesterday he napped for an hour and a half and I didn't know what to do with myself!😄

Im hoping i will start to feel less tired soon as im not sure how long it actually takes to recover from 11 months of broken sleep 😂

OP posts:
Bumpyroads · 14/05/2026 06:01

Oh and I have been feeding him once a night after midnight

OP posts:
Mummyoflittledragon · 14/05/2026 06:08

Well done. That’s brilliant news! I think it will take a while to recover. But you are getting the time and space to do so now.

ZanyOP · 14/05/2026 06:27

Congratulations! That’s such a huge improvement !

well done OP and you know what to do with yourself on an hour and a half nap!!?! SLEEP! 😆

CatCaretaker · 14/05/2026 06:32

Bumpyroads · 14/05/2026 05:58

Just wanted to update how sleep training is going.
First night was hard however last night he only woke twice and settled withing 5 -10 mins both times.
We are following the ferber method. He's in his own room. I did cry as I miss him being next to me but I know its for the best.
What i think has made the biggest difference to myself is he has started having naps in his cot! Again settling within 10mins. Yesterday he napped for an hour and a half and I didn't know what to do with myself!😄

Im hoping i will start to feel less tired soon as im not sure how long it actually takes to recover from 11 months of broken sleep 😂

This is incredible! Really well done, so glad you're both benefiting ❤️

Delatron · 14/05/2026 06:59

Well done OP! I am a firm believer in sleep begets sleep so that fact that he’s napping better in the day will be having a positive impact on night sleep. And brilliant that this is in his cot.

ScaredButUnavoidable · 14/05/2026 08:08

That’s amazing OP!

Sometimes the experience of tackling sleep issues is far easier than the thought of doing it. You must feel better already!

Well done!

Girliefriendlikespuppies · 14/05/2026 08:18

Brilliant op, well done.

My dd is 20 now and I think I’m just about catching up from the years of broken sleep when she was a baby 😉😂

If you still feel excessively tired get some bloods checked as you could be anaemic.

Happytaytos · 14/05/2026 08:24

Such great news OP. Long may it continue!

Newventures · 14/05/2026 08:27

Bumpyroads · 11/05/2026 12:57

I actually just think I am exhausted. Like right now I feel like I could nap for hours and still not feel rested its a horrible almost drunk feeling.
Which is why giving up the co sleeping also scares me as I have no idea how I will cope with even less sleep.
I actually have a member of the health visiting team coming round tomorrow for a "talking session" i think she is one of their nurses. This is supposed to be just to get things of my chest as they know i have a very unsettled baby. I have no idea whether to tell her or not because im scared she will think im not safe.

EDITED - sorry just saw updates.

You poor thing, being that exhausted must feel so hopeless right now especially thinking of changing things that might make it worse. But you really do have to, you’re not able to provide safe co-sleeping. I’m a child protection social worker for decades, not in the UK so I don’t know for sure but I imagine if you were honest with the GP and nurse they would probably refer you but if you explainers what you have done in response to provide safety it would be closed or you might be offered support. However if something more serious happens in the future and you had this opportunity to prevent it that would be considered really serious and even if services were never involved how would you cope with that guilt? I didn’t breastfeed so I know I have a different approach but for me you need to move the baby to a cot and work on night weaning or have your husband / partner take over to allow you recuperate.

BoredZelda · 14/05/2026 08:29

FebruaryClouds · 11/05/2026 13:05

That’s not true anymore. Or rather, it’s not advised against anymore, as medical professionals recognise that 70% of parents end up cosleeping to some degree (source: the midwife at my post-birth 10 day check up, four weeks ago). The point is to do it safely.

This is incorrect. All reputable sources advise against co-sleeping. They all say the safest place for a baby is in their own bed.

They go on to give advice about the safest way to do it, if it is unavoidable, and that includes having a separate, bedside crib/sleeper. That said, the risks are still higher than not co-sleeping. It is important people understand that difference.

In OP’s situation, not only is she not in a position to be able to co-sleep with her baby, the way she was doing it in inherently unsafe.

MyPurpleHeart · 14/05/2026 08:49

Sleep training is controversial but it worked miracles for us. I did the chair method, so for the first 7 nights I sat next to the cot and gave DD gentle rubs on the tummy every few minutes. Next 3 nights chair in the middle of the room, next 3 nights in the doorway, then after that not at all.

I never let her cry for more than 5 minutes without a check in, sometimes even less.

Nights 1 & 2 there was a bit of crying for 20 minutes, night 3 -10 minutes. By night 4 she had no interest in the tummy rubs and just snuggled down.

Moving her out of our room also was the best thing, because she sensed me and woke up.

She was 6 months, shes almost 3 now and sleeps like the dead. 7.30 - 6.30 and has to be wrangled out of bed in the mornings

The way it was explained to me was that when they use a dummy, boob, bottle or rocking to fall asleep they don't understand how to sleep without it. Moreso as they get older. Everyone wakes up multiple times in the night but we don't know about it because its for such a small amount of time that we go straight back to sleep. Little ones who need something to help them fall asleep cant do that, so learning to fall asleep without that aid is the key.

Blondeshavemorefun · 14/05/2026 10:42

Well done. Sleep training is only helping your baby to fall asleep and tbh essential for baby so they they can grow and develop and for mums so that they can sleep and their mental health isn’t compromised

Delatron · 14/05/2026 10:55

I never understood why sleep training is controversial or why people endure years of broken sleep (and all the health impacts ) for them, the baby and their family.

It can be very gentle and you are only teaching them to be able to self settle and fall asleep without other aids. Like the poster above said - we all wake many times in the night yet we go back to sleep without registering- this is a learnt skill
.

It is also so quick. It took us 3 nights. Versus years of waking in the night upset and crying? Which is the most distressing and unhealthy?

PotatoLove · 14/05/2026 18:44

Great news!

OneDayEarly · 14/05/2026 19:45

Bumpyroads · 14/05/2026 05:58

Just wanted to update how sleep training is going.
First night was hard however last night he only woke twice and settled withing 5 -10 mins both times.
We are following the ferber method. He's in his own room. I did cry as I miss him being next to me but I know its for the best.
What i think has made the biggest difference to myself is he has started having naps in his cot! Again settling within 10mins. Yesterday he napped for an hour and a half and I didn't know what to do with myself!😄

Im hoping i will start to feel less tired soon as im not sure how long it actually takes to recover from 11 months of broken sleep 😂

Fantastic!!

Lolajane80 · 14/05/2026 22:05

Delatron · 13/05/2026 13:58

It does not need to make up a large part of their nutrition at night..and it’s detrimental to their appetite in the day if it does.

Oh please be quiet . You have absolutely NO idea what you are talking about. Breast milk is still a very important part of the babies nutrition at this age . All this "habit" nonsense you're referring to is such outdated crap.

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