I hurt my baby co sleeping

[Bumpyroads]

Baby is a terrible sleeper, we co sleep and I feel very sleep deprived.
I have always talked in my sleep however last night I had a nightmare and got very angry in my sleep.
We were co sleeping and baby was sleeping in the crook of my arm.
I bit him in my sleep hard on his eyebrow, I woke up immediately to him crying I thought I had bitten his eye and immediately started shouting at my husband to turn on the light. Im so upset about it he has red teeth marks which will probably leave a bruise.
Not sure I can tell anyone in real life so posting here

Ok. Thats nice. I like chocolate eclairs.

If he’s used to the bed, I’d really recommend a floor bed. I thought next to me cots were meant for up to 6 months? Maybe the lack of space is waking him up.

Again, dummies were made to replicate the breast. It’s very normal for babies to use breasts for comfort.
Just because society tells you to use a dummy and not to respond to your babies needs naturally, does not make it right. People are so obsessed with babies sleeping through the night, causing added stress, when it’s actually very normal for them to wake. Is it exhausting? Of course it is. We need support not to be told to ignore instincts.

Yes dummies were made to replicate the breast same as bottles but the same as she would suck a dummy to sooth herself regardless of getting milk she is doing that with the breast hence using it like she would a dummy.

No they use dummies like a breast. Because that’s what came first.

Oh well done! It's hard but I did find it such an absolute transformation that a few nights of tears was really worth it.

I hope you were able to nap while he did.

If it's at all helpful (ignore if not, I know it's not always great to have lots of different suggestions thrown at you when you're already overwhelmed!) - I did essentially this rather than Ferber: https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/sleep/1394888-What-worked-for-us-Hope-this-helps. There are lots of versions of essentially the same technique but I think that post is one of the clearest of how to actually do it. It might actually be easier to operate than Ferber in a scenario where you're still room sharing as you don't leave baby alone to go to sleep until quite far on, and you could probably just stick at the 'being in the same room but not picking up' part.

Haven’t read all the posts as in a rush so sorry if you’ve answered this - where is your partner? Can you rota the nights?

also to the person saying “doing something as bad as biting” - that is just deeply
unhelpful. You don’t have control in your sleep!?

How is the bite?

You cannot carry on sleeping with him for his safety. Coming from a mom who still sleeps with my 8 and 6 year old (8 year old is ND and very anxious). I started co sleeping with my second as he was a terrible sleeper until he turned 2 and I was exhausted so I totally understand but you cannot risk putting your baby at harm. Why is your baby still feeding through the night at 11 months? If he is still breast fed I would consider trying to wean him off to try and get him to not feed during the night.
have all possibilities been explored like reflux etc?
personally if you are a good mother and care for your baby and this really was something that happened during your sleep I wouldn’t be telling the HV.
could your husband do the co sleeping instead if you must carry on?
Hang on in there it really won’t last forever. Is there anyone that could sit with your baby for a few hours while you get some sleep? Things are so much harder to deal with when you’re tired. Good luck.

Might be worth having your thyroid checked if you’re exceptionally tired. I got post-partum thyroiditis. I mentioned tiredness to HV who thought it was baby blues. Mentioned in passing to my GP when I was in for something else that my neck seemed swollen. My results came back off the chart, literally, and if it’d gone much longer I’d have ended up in a coma. Surprises me that HVs don’t seem trained to look out for it as it affects 1 in 10.

You had an accident and this was your warning not to let it be repeated and make change. I wouldn’t share details of the incident because it might trigger other processes for safeguarding.

However you need more support and have to get DH to help you.

6 months is very young. I seek help from someone reputable like sleep chill baby on Instagram. We paid £150 for sleep consultation. Got lots of help with routines and other methods to help self soothing.

Sleep deprivation is literally a form of torture. Please get help so you can also enjoy this first year with your baby.

Well done you!!! Amazing for a first experiment with Ferber!!! Congrats and stick to your guns! You've got this!

First of all, your cannot continue to do this, as this practice is clearly not safe. Honestly, I've never understood why people do this. You should be distancing yourself and your child at bed time. This is much healthier for all concerned.

Yeah but if you read the OP's update, you'll see she's not going to continue to do it, and that last night she didn't?

My daughter has the same problem with her 11 month not sleeping. She has started using
Zed 2.0 Vibration Sleep Soother and Night Light
to get some to sleep. He did sleep the first 4 hours, which is more than before.
Good luck.

The biting incident sounds very scary, I hope he and you are ok ❤️.

Re cosleeping, I completely understand you. My 16 month old wakes up even more frequently when I'm not in the bed than when I am. As it is she wakes 4 or 5 times a night. I have tested it! I don't think about whether it's 'normal' to wake that often or not because there is a huge range of normal. I think she's just a very light sleeper!

Apologies, I see you're attempting to get him sleeping in his own space. Best of luck, I hope tonight goes well ❤️

Co-sleeping is a terrible cop-out, always dangerous, and the baby learns to demand the warmth, feeding and comfort that you have trained them to expect. Please don't be tempted back into it. They become accustomed to whatever you decide to arrange and the crying does not last for ever.

Easier said than done re. night weaning. I tried it. Stuck with it for over a month. Mine woke just as often but was harder to get back to sleep. Lots of crying, screaming, split nights. Feeding back to sleep is much, much easier.

The 'cop-out' that gets everyone some sleep, instead of nobody getting any sleep 🙄

Can you describe this rocking a bit more if you don't mind? Like, did you hold him and roll yourself back and forth, or rock him and down, if you get me? I'll try anything 😅

Fair enough. It was something I never did in all fairness mine were both bottle fed pretty much from the beginning as I’ve heard so any stories of it being hard and them wanting to feed all night so I took the easy option.

Buy a ‘just chill baby’ sleep course and sleep train. Rosey is qualified up the wazoo and will give the best information and support to get your sorted.

It’s something you clearly need to do for your sanity and your baby’s safety! Sleep training isn’t a dirty word, it’s not cruel, and can work quickly and effectively. You will reclaim your sleep and end up being better rested and your mental health will improve. get onto it and see everything get better!