I hurt my baby co sleeping

[Bumpyroads]

Baby is a terrible sleeper, we co sleep and I feel very sleep deprived.
I have always talked in my sleep however last night I had a nightmare and got very angry in my sleep.
We were co sleeping and baby was sleeping in the crook of my arm.
I bit him in my sleep hard on his eyebrow, I woke up immediately to him crying I thought I had bitten his eye and immediately started shouting at my husband to turn on the light. Im so upset about it he has red teeth marks which will probably leave a bruise.
Not sure I can tell anyone in real life so posting here

Waking up multiple times at night for milk is normal for 11 months. Mine stopped around 14/15 months.

Your husband needs to be helping. You do the last feed of the evening and go straight to sleep, husband does the next feed so you have a solid few hours sleep.

You cannot co sleep again.

Do you have any family who can watch him for a few hours each weekend to allow you time to sleep?

It gets easier, I promise.

Never ever co sleep …dangerous as you must now realise, plus xyou could easily smother him, why on earth did you start that, time to stop sleep or no sleep, leave baby safely in his cot, couple nights he will settle then keep up the new routine, otherwise he will still be in your bed when he starts nursery school …😳 perhaps nice cuddle in your bed in the morning.

Can you take the side off his cot and push it up against your bed so he has his own space and you have yours. I remember having a bed sheet with blow up sides, think it was called dream tubes or something like that so they couldn’t fall out. Don’t beat yourself up but u do need to look at changing things. Good luck

Co-sleeping is recommended then it isn’t recommended then it is. It also depends on the nhs trust, my sister was encouraged to co-sleep with hers, she didn't. 6 months earlier at a different trust, I was actively encouraged not to co-sleep, I did, and with all of them. So for everyone saying don’t do it, everybody needs to find what works for them. If controlled crying worked for you, great, it doesn’t work for everyone!

Cosleeping isn't usually inherently dangerous if done as advised by the lullaby trust. The OP has been very unlucky.

What's wrong with nursery aged kids Cosleeping?

You said that you have recently been discharged from the perinatal team. Are you on any medication?

Please do discuss it with your health visitor.

Not the same situation but I stopped cosleeping at 11 months to prepare for return to work. Was terrified. Husband popped down in her cot, awake, lots of comfort, singing and then did the slowly leaving the room over a few nights method.

She didn’t even cry! Just a little bit of complaining noises.

Now c.80% sleeps through and I kept breastfeeding (moved down slowly, still breastfeeding during books and then husband doing the putting down) to 2 years and 2 months and only stopped just now because we want another. Without me in the room she woke less to feed, just had a really long night/morning feed.

I’m pleased I waited but equally, so pleased we stopped!

Every child is different blah blah. But I would give it a go!

Haven’t read the full thread only read your comments OP so apologies if my suggestions have been mentioned already. I’m sorry this happened to you. I’m coslept with both of mine so I totally understand how sanity saving it can be with a badly sleeping baby! When I had enough of cosleeping with my second he was about 18 months. I babyproofed his room to an inch of its life. Literally nothing in it apart from safe toys, furniture securely attached to the wall etc. got a floor bed, fed to sleep and left. No transfer required. Like your child transfer was impossible. If he woke I went back in fed to sleep again and left again. Staying awake will be the hard part. Maybe take some earphones and have something to watch on your phone to keep you awake? Or ask DH to come and watch you. After a night or two the wakes reduced greatly and within a week he was sleeping through. In the mean time nap while he naps, just do the same thing during the day feed to sleep in HIS bed then lie in yours for a nap. Maximise every opportunity for sleep. Good luck OP, hope things improve for you!

Well your husband sounds like a useless twat

My youngest was a nightmare sleeper - at a year old the HV suggested medication - she also gave us a method - might have been no cry - that eventually worked
You have to be consistent and it will take a while. We we were told to put her down, say a phrase like 'its time to sleep, night night' and leave her. When she cried we left her for say 10 seconds then went in and repeated the phrase, made sure she was ok and left her again - left it 15 seconds etc Never picking her up (unless needed nappy changed) and letting her self sooth. Took a week and she eventually slept for about 6 hours. It was the hardest week ever - but worth it

This!

I feel for you but you are NOT a single parent. You are a parent who's left in the lurch due to a completely shit husband.

So what I would say to you which I wouldnt to a single parent, is bin him. He's refusing to parent to the point you are ill, unsafe and his baby is being harmed. Get shot of him, you've enough to deal with without putting up with him!

Well if you don’t know the dangers no point in me stating the obvious, also biting a baby seems one example, and think her baby was the unlucky one 🙄

You can’t co-sleep 🤷‍♀️

Put the baby in their cot, warm, safe and fed and leave them to sleep. Putting him in his own room will help as well.

Id also get your bloods checked as you sound anaemic.

I think you should research the lullaby trust.

The OP has described how she used safe sleep guidance to cosleep safely. The biting is unfortunate and very bad luck. It must be an extremely rare thing to do in your sleep.

Leaving a little baby to cry themselves to sleep is barbaric and quite frankly- lazy .

Go away with your unsympathetic attitude.

Until you are a parent who has harmed your child (unintentionally) through sleep deprivation, you don't get to make others feel like crap.

Sleep training was the best thing we did for the benefit of the whole family, including mother and baby.

Well My three ages 2 , 6 , and 12 all sleeping soundly and happy in their own rooms & beds the younger two go to sleep our reading a bedtime story,
Never heard such a load of nonsense, …

I’m not against co sleeping if you have a big enough bed. I read that breastfeeding and cosleeping is safer - something about the woman curves around the baby naturally. So I always made sure it was me, baby and partner - but we had a large bed.

BUT - if something like that happened I would stop co sleeping. I think you need to get checked out. If you have a sleeping disorder and are not conscious for whatever reason stop cosleeping.

I’m usually a very deep sleeper, but what I cosleep I have been very alert. So if it doesn’t feel safe for whatever reason try and see if you can get your partner to help out at night or to give you a few hours sleep during the day so that you can get the baby settled in their own bed.

Can you settle him into his own room now he’s 11m?

Some babies sleep better when they are less disturbed.

Your DH is like a dead weight, why are you having to carry everything alone and why isn’t he doing anything to support his DC and you?

I'm actually extremely sympathetic to the poor babies whose parents have decided that ignoring their babies cries is the best solution. It's cruel !!!
Mothers and babies co slept for thousands of years and still do in other countries and these countries have the lowest cases of sids. It was only when some man decided we shouldn't do that anymore and leave them to cry that people started saying it was "the right thing to do".

Comments encouraging OP to sleep train and leave her baby to cry are not helpful and she clearly doesn't want to do that. I feel for Op.

If the skin is not broken your baby will be fine. You can use "alcohol free" witch Hazel if you wish, but l would just let it heal naturally. Be careful if you see your gp, it can open a can of worms, big time. Please, do not sleep with your baby, l know its tough, every mother on the planet has suffered with sleep deprivation, it doesn't last forever. Some rules are not meant to be broken & this is one of them. I hope things get better for you.

Not all babies sleep better when cosleeping, my dd slept a million times better once she was in her own cot in her own room. We are both light sleepers and just kept waking each other up when co-sleeping or even room sharing!

By 11 months there’s no reason (imo) for a baby to be constantly waking up throughout the night.

A mother who is on her knees and loosing her mind to sleep deprivation is not a safe or happy mother 🤷‍♀️

Why aren't they helpful?

I was there, sleep deprived, trying to work and had a mental breakdown. Having a sleep trained baby has caused no negative lasting effects.

I'm sorry but don't co-sleep! There is so much evidence of the danger.