Would you ever have a ONS?

[ij1828]

Say like a guy in the club you really fancied.

I had one in my younger days. I kind of knew him from school so he wasn't a stranger. I'm not sure I could be bothered now if I was single.

Yes @Bondenlove that!

Not even one??

ONS's leave me miserable, I learned that quickly at uni even without having full sex with them. Just depends what you like.

Not now, I am 76.

I did a couple of times when younger, can't say either were very edifying but they happened. I'm not hung up about past experiences but would have no wish to repeat them.

I haven't ever had a ONS. I don't think I could. I'm old now and have been married forever so I don't suppose I'll ever find out!

No - not one

Hm I'm not sure I know what that would feel like but as long as you got something out of it who cares I guess

It was something to do 🤷‍♀️

This thread is weird.

yes I had some ons when I was young free and single. It was fabulous. Not always drunk either!

if it’s not for you op that’s fine but if we’re talking about consenting adults then isn’t that just a difference of opinion? I don’t want to go snowboarding but other people pay shitloads to do it. So what?

And the bonus of ONS over snowboarding is that those having a ONS don’t make you wang on endlessly to your colleagues about how good it was 🤣

And? Do you act on it @CurdinHenry ?

as above it's nice to daydream

So beyond flirting, that’s the extent of your ONS these days? Day dreaming about them?

I have done in my youth but happily married now and have no plans for another relationship ever again.
They were exciting and i felt fine about them at the time iv'e no hang ups about sex as long as things are consensual .

I did loads back in the 2000’s after a marriage break up, I feel i had ny reasons but wouldn’t do it now. It was exciting at the time but led to nothing. I was unsafe too, never used protection and if I could go back in time would do it differently

Yep had loads in my much younger days….loved each and everyone of them for a few hours 😉…. Sexually fulfilling ( mostly) no strings, safe sex…. Old and happily married now but sometimes have a wry smile at the memories x

I was unsafe as well - that’s the only thing I regret. Getting knocked up was not in the plan although it was kind of inevitable

I had a couple in my young days, well before I got married obvs. It's fun, a little bit dangerous and a little bit thrilling, to feel that sudden mutual pull out of nowhere (and be confident enough in yourself and also in a position act on it) - but in my limited experience the sex isn't that great because you don't know each other well enough!

Would I ever do it again - nope. I'm ageing and menopausal and everything is shrivelled up like a cabbage in the desert, so even DH is lucky to get any action let alone a stranger.

Up front, I'm a bloke so appreciate my perspective is likely to be different from most people on here.

But I've never really found sex by itself all that intimate. I've had a few one night stands and it's just fun. It's like playing a game of squash against a new partner, you get sweaty, get your heart rate up, learn how the other person likes to play and hopefully have a mutually enjoyable game. If you're lucky, the other person wants to play with you again.

I find a first date with a stranger a much more intimate experience. You actually have to reveal who you are on a date, I've had long discussions with people about death, past relationships, plans for the future. You actually have to reveal who you are when dating. Sex is the easy bit, I'd much rather reveal what particular type of thrusting makes my eyes roll back into my head than talk about why my relationship with my Dad is so godawful.

Again, I understand why this is likely to be different for women, there's a vulnerability there that men don't tend to have to worry about.

No, because I'm married. Back when I was single? Absolutely

Not now, just because I’m older and see the danger, nothing regarding sex with a stranger per se, I think that’s fine alone. It’s the fear of what could happen if they were a psycho. When I was younger, I just didn’t have that fear

It’s not necessarily different for women. I’m a woman, and I broadly agree( apart from the squash analogy, which is horrifying). The difference is that women need to be more aware of their own safety, of their contraception, and have generally had it dinned into them that sex is special and meaningful, rather than an enjoyable physical experience. Or that it’s something women ‘give’ to men, as an exchange for commitment. Or a whole heap of other sucio-religious teachings aimed at keeping women sexually in their place. I think that’s quite gendered and men get it less.

I certainly grew up in a devoutly Catholic family in a devoutly Catholic society that viewed sex as not involving female pleasure and being for the sole purpose of procreation within marriage.

I had to crawl out from under a lot of deeply sexist ideology to get to the point of ONS.

Not now as I'm married but when I was single, absolutely!

If I ended up single again, absolutely!

Yes, and I did.