Would you ever have a ONS?

[ij1828]

Say like a guy in the club you really fancied.

Well, a lot of people feel differently. I had a fair few before I met DH. Some were great.

Come to think of it, DH was supposed to be a ONS, and yet here we are, thirty years and a child later.😀

DH was my last ONS but had a few before him 🙊🙈

Me too!

Yes back in the day I probably had going on for 50-60 of them over the course of 8 years (excluding 3 years while I was in a relationship). I would go out on my own, get pissed and have a ONS with someone.

Yes generally. That’s how it used to be - people got pissed and fucked.

Why did you start this thread? Was it just to judge people?

You talk about intimacy - it’s not intimacy, it’s a fuck. Not the same thing. Sex doesn’t have to be this emotional experience - how is it accepted that men can separate sex and love but women aren’t supposed to?

This will blow your mind - I didn’t even know the names of most of them

I had a couple of ONS as I got back into dating. Wasn't that impressed as the men in their 50s weren't very good.
My husband we slept together on our second date. He'd been single and dating for years so has probably had loads more ONS than me but he never pushed it. He's 67 now and just as gorgeous.

Do you think respect involves not enjoying sex?

To be honest my only complaint is that I don't often meet men I find attractive enough to want to. Really brightens up the day to have something to daydream about if nothing else.

Actually thinking about it, I wasn’t actually attracted to any of them!

does having sex with a man I sat next to on a long-haul flight count? It wasn’t nighttime. God it was fun tho.

I get that but there are no cast iron guarantees that anyone is loved so it’s a difficult one.

I would rather fess up to my past of whoring round the county than be judgemental about grown adults having sex.

I've attempted to, twice, but both ended up turning into multi-week long flings. Not real relationships but a temporary FWB situationship.

I've been feeling mostly asexual since my late OH died two years ago, but I'm also open to it again in the future if those feelings come back and I stumble into the right circumstances. I don't think I'd go out looking for one though.

I think the OP is talking about meaningless one time sex with a stranger - it doesn’t sound like your situations will provide enough moral outrage for her

Yes, I find it weird that ‘intimacy’ seems to have become today’s euphemism of choice for sex. Sex doesn’t have to involve intimacy in the slightest. You’re just taking your clothes off (or some of them) to do something physically pleasurable.

I’m only having one night stands at the moment

Intimacy means closeness through physical touch be it cuddling or sexual ; it doesn’t mean just mentally. In this context, absolutely intimacy can be used to mean sex. Of course not always, if it’s face to the wall up a back alley, there is not much physical touch; bar the obvious, but I’d hazard a guess most ons are not like that.

‘Intimacy is a close, familiar, and affectionate personal relationship with another person, involving emotional, physical, or intellectual closeness. It is built over time through trust, vulnerability, and mutual self-disclosure’ (Source: Google)

So no closeness, familiarity or affection.

Physical touch isn’t in itself intimate. When a doctor examines you, they touch you but there’s no intimacy

But that’s not what intimacy is. The definition is wrong this poster has provided. Intimacy can also mean sexual contact according to the dictionary.

Several times when I was young, no regrets and a lot of fun. I really enjoyed looking at a beautiful man across a pub, club or beach and thinking to myself - I’ll have that one please.

i can honestly say that none of my ONS have been intimate in any way. Even when we have spent the night together. It’s been a fuck, no more and no less. I had no connection to the person other than a physical coupling,

If you look further, whilst you can be intimate by having sex, that doesn’t mean all sex is intimate.

You dont seem to approve of one night stands ?
I have had a number of them in my single days
I was never very good at them and got attached so not worth it for me
But im not against them in principle.

Well I've now been with my husband for 30 years and its still a very loving and happy relationship and out sex life is also very good. So I suppose my perspective is within that context.

I really don't think there is anything wrong with a woman enjoying casual or no strings sex if she is really enjoying it then more power to her!

I've never had a classic ONS (have a had a few flings with blokes I barely knew / never saw again though)

If my libido ever returns I'm not sure I could be arsed with it all these days and even if I wanted to I don't drink, don't go to clubs, don't really do much at all socially [by choice] so not sure where I'd ever find the opportunity.

God yes, loads in the past. Would I now? God no!