Six-year-old wants to work because we cannot afford treats

[Ontodaysepisode]

today my 6 year old came and asked “why can’t 6 year olds go to work?” I said because she’s too young and she needs to spend her childhood having fun and doing nice things before going to work every day. I asked her why she asked.. and she said “because you and daddy can never buy us (her and her brother) the magazine with toys in it anymore because you say you have no money, well if I go to work like you I can help you have money”

I don’t know whether to feel like I’m failing her or raising her right. My heart breaks for her. I was the ‘we don’t have enough money’ kid and I promised myself I wouldn’t put my kids through that (within reason obviously!) but the cost of living has wiped us out and I'm exactly where I don’t want to be right now and I’m holding out for a miracle that it’s not going to get worse.

I hate the fact she can’t have simple things every so often because we just can’t afford to spare the change right now. But I also don’t want her to worry about it.

anyone else sincerely fed up of being poor?😒

You add teaching her the value of things! You could say to her if she has old toys or clothes sell on Vinted or Facebook marketplace and any money you get is hers to buy something new? My sister did this with her kids and I think it’s a great idea.

OP i wouldn’t have spent £8 on a magazine with plastic tat for Dd even if i could have afforded it. I think definitely have an age appropriate conversation about not paying rubbish. I’d rather have bought a book or a jigsaw. It’s not a bad lesson to learn that sometimes we can’t have everything we want, we have to save up, or we have to make decisions about priorities.

I don’t let my children have the magazines with toys because ultimately, they don’t read the magazine and the toy- typically plastic tat, is forgotten about within a day, so I just tell them it’s a waste of money.

I don’t think anybody is missing the point. That’s what she used as an example. People are just saying if you change or reframe the narrative it’s not about not affording stuff, it’s more about what you are choosing to spend your money on. If the poster had written ‘ my DD wants to work because we can’t afford food” she might have got a very different reaction. But she thinks the daughter is missing out by her not buying a crappy plastic toy overpriced magazine? It’s not a great example is it?

Crappy cheap magazines are not the same as a mansion

Have you tried the library to see if any magazines are there to read or ask the newsagent if the older out of date copies are available to buy

i have been there I know how hard it is

The point is the magazines are not ‘cheap’ for what they are. They are 8£ and a complete waste of money - regardless of whether you can afford it or not. The point is the op needs reframe her thought process on this and decide not to buy them because of this and tell the daughter it’s about saving money rather than wasting it. She’s not saying she can’t afford food she’s saying she’s telling her daughter she can’t afford overpriced tat! It’s not a ‘cheap magazine’

This post is incredibly sad. Am i the only one that thinks a 6 yr old shouldnt worry about costs? I mean let kids be kids.
Comics in librarys
Second hand toys exchange.
I would bawl my eyes out if my child at that age said that.
You need to protect her young childhood and that is not code for spending money you dont have. teens need to be aware of the cost of things of course but certainly not young children end of

I grew up in a household where from a very young age I was aware of having a lack of money - parents always stressed, hand me down clothes, basic food no treats etc. I vowed I would never bring up a child of mine like that. I worked my backside off, despite a lack of support from school or any real encouragement from home. I now earn a six figure salary. In many ways my upbringing was the making of me. Don’t worry that you’re harming your child. Help her understand the situation and encourage her to do well and better herself. Any little treat you can buy her will always be cherished and remembered.

We pass down out money fear from
parents. It’s our attitude and relationship with money that needs to change and this is passed down to kids. Good for you. However, I don’t think stressing about not buying an overpriced 8£ magazine is really about giving your child a treat, surely despite all of this it’s about teaching your child the value of money? And also hand me downs and second hand clothes are not a bad thing. It’s recycling and reusing which is great for our environment, people are opting to do this now rather than wasting money on new and things are being reused. We live in a society where we are obsessed with new, so regardless of whether you can afford it or not surely our attitudes towards money needs to change. She’s already instilling that fear into her kid by constantly telling get she can’t afford it. Just say we are choosing to spend our money on other things and encourage her to save her money, surely these are not bad messages for kids to learn despite whether the parent has a 6 figure salary or not.

You don’t want her to worry or be comparing to others. Try to change the narrative to choice? DH tends to say “we can’t afford that” to our DS. That’s fine but it can potentially cause worry etc. We are better off than a lot of people and have savings, but need to and want to watch what we do spend. We would rather drive an older car and not have loads of debt etc. So in most cases, it was more “we don’t want to spend money on x, y and z, we’d rather do this, spend money on this, or save or whatever”. He never really explained it as that though. It gives them the knowledge that things are choices. Having said that it does mean our DS asks for things a lot less as he knows his dad will say no! Focusing on choice is particularly useful for things like kid’s magazines that are incredibly expensive for what you get! You might not have that choice if funds are more limited for you but you are still making a choice. Even if it is a bag of sweets or a treat rather than a magazine that’s five times that cost. “Would you rather go to the park now and we can save our money up to spend on other things?” It’s good to have those conversations with children. Focus on what you do have (family time together and trips to the parks and seeing family and friends etc). It’s good for kids to realise some people have more and some less, and they stand a better chance of being in that position if they do well at school and get a good job. Not saying got a minute that it’s as easy as that. Some people struggle more at school, some people find learning difficult, cannot do exams, are more practical etc, but it opens up a conversation about school, achievements and aspirations which is always a good thing trying to be the best version you can be as a person (as a general thing not specifically talking academically). As OP said value hand me downs etc and discuss waste, landfill and recycling etc. New is certainly not best for the climate and environment. Equally point out that money isn’t everything and there are a lot of people who have a lot of money but who are sad. You sound as if you’re doing a great job. Don’t be so hard on yourself.