Six-year-old wants to work because we cannot afford treats

[Ontodaysepisode]

today my 6 year old came and asked “why can’t 6 year olds go to work?” I said because she’s too young and she needs to spend her childhood having fun and doing nice things before going to work every day. I asked her why she asked.. and she said “because you and daddy can never buy us (her and her brother) the magazine with toys in it anymore because you say you have no money, well if I go to work like you I can help you have money”

I don’t know whether to feel like I’m failing her or raising her right. My heart breaks for her. I was the ‘we don’t have enough money’ kid and I promised myself I wouldn’t put my kids through that (within reason obviously!) but the cost of living has wiped us out and I'm exactly where I don’t want to be right now and I’m holding out for a miracle that it’s not going to get worse.

I hate the fact she can’t have simple things every so often because we just can’t afford to spare the change right now. But I also don’t want her to worry about it.

anyone else sincerely fed up of being poor?😒

I dont think you should burden such little kids with things like family finances and money worries. They will have enough time in their life worrying about it!

Instead, I would discuss with her what she DOES have so she doesn't feel left out.

Another one who hates those stupid magazines. Utter waste of money. My son is 9 and he has only ever had 1. When I realised it was garbage I said no and he’s never bothered wanting them. I say “they’re a waste of money”.

I do pocket money he must earn now and say he can buy himself whatever with it and I won’t intervene on HOW he spends it as it’s his. It’s made him really thoughtful in what he buys.

He earns pocket money and has the U18 Revolut. He gets 25p everytime he makes his own bed without me asking. 50p for putting all his laundry away neatly or emptying the dishwasher and 25p for clearing the plates away into the kitchen for us all after dinner.

He doesn’t have to do those things but if he chooses too he earns money. He gets between £3-6 depending on his level of motivation. He’s decided to save and has £24! He hasn’t bought any tat and doesn’t ask me to pay for anything as he knows he can. It’s worked really well!

Also appreciate that’s a lot of money still, but you could do it with smaller amounts. My son’s bedroom has never been so tidy.

What did you have to cut ? Do you still have a holiday or a treat ? If so tell her as you grow up you need to save money to have treats and holidays and days out and that is normal . If you really are struggling with money this might be harder but maybe the same concept but for something smaller ?

It’s good for children to learn not to expect to get everything they want, when they want it. Even when I can afford those magazines, I rarely buy them because they are overpriced and the toys are utter tat.

Thanks all! I definitely do need to rephrase the “we don’t have money for that/we can’t afford that” so will work on that!

as for pocket money they do get pocket money for chores but I tend to encourage her to save pocket money up for spending in half terms/holidays, otherwise every £1 I give her will no doubt be spent everytime we go to the shops 🤣

We’ve been to the car boot today and she’s had some chapter books brought for her so she’s super pleased.

We thankfully are set to get better financially, we took out a loan some years ago that we’re still paying off but it’s nearing the end now so that will make quite a big difference to us. We took the loan out when we were more comfortable financially and could afford the repayments without being skint, so when that’s paid off we’ll have a huge weight lifted.. counting down now! 🫠

I would never spend money on things like magazines with toys. They are sooo expensive. I used to say that they were a waste of money and no they couldn't have one but I would take them to the library to get a book if they wanted to read. A rod for my own back as I then had to go to the library quite often to pick up books they'd reserved!

Now mine are KS2 age, and have had numerous party bags full of plastic toys that they play with, they get it. We still 'go and look' at the magazines while dad is paying for the weekly shop - but they now laugh at how flimsy most of the toys are and how much they cost.
You never need to say you can't afford it. You just need to say it's not a good use of money and even if you were a billionaire you wouldn't buy it. Emphasise that work is something you do to have a good life - not to enable you to buy crap on a whim.

Maybe give her £1 a week to save up for one of those magazines (get her to do some 'work' like folding clothes). Once she has bought and read it, let her save up again. Before she buys another point to a toy (something on special offer that looks big and impressive) and say 'you could have bought that today if you'd not bought that magazine, do you want to save up for it or buy another magazine?'.

Find them jobs then. I worked at that age: not a lot tbh but strawberry picking in the summer with my parents and beating in the winter. When I was a tiny bit older (12) I did modelling and when I was older again (14) waitressing.
Not to mention all the kids that make and sell their own stuff (cakes, sweets, bracelets, hair clips)

Those magazines are absolutely crap at £8 each for the lego ones. MIL loves to buy them for DS but they are utter shite and he never reads them and the pieces are miserly. I always say no to him. I just say it’s a waste of money. I think you need to learn to say “no”
without a reason. In reality, you probably do have a spare £6 - £8 but the stuff is so crap and over priced you cannot justify it. Anyways, maybe just buy one for Xmas and or birthday. ALSO my DS7 did go through a phase about working or chores for money. We aren’t hard up but by no means are we rich.

I remember moaning about the cost of something or saying something like, we can't afford to pay for that, or we have already spent quite a bit of money this week, my then 4 year old said, if you have spent too much money this week, you can go on quickquid.com... we limited the amount of CITV after that!! (15 years ago!)

My DD asked why we can't have a mansion, I told her because we don't have money to buy a mansion. She thought about it and came back to me a few days later asked why kids can't work because she wants to buy a mansion.

i think posters who are focussing on the crap magazines are missing the point.

Hopefully she is coming at it from the point of view of wanting to help. But if she is worried about your financial situation then that’s a lot for a child to process and worry about.

It does sound like you’re being a bit tight

You don’t have to say yes every time but clearly you’re saying no more often than not for your kid to feel this way

The next time just give her choices like do you want this magazine or do you want to wait for X or try Y shop or something. You don’t always have to say it’s about money, whilst still making her aware that money isn’t infinite

That magazines with toys are about £8! And the four cheap plastic crap that comes with it gets looked at for the whole of 10 seconds. Even if I had all the money in the whole I wouldn’t buy those.

That’s not the point though. The point is that a 6 yo child is worried enough about her family not having enough money that she wants to get a job.

My 5 year old has said he wants to earn some money to contribute to the family 🥰 It is very sweet, he has been asking a bit lately about why we have to work and how much things cost etc so is getting more aware of money.

That’s great, as long as he isn’t worrying about this stuff

Well lucky you! Aged about 8 in 1982/3 I remember I got 25p. 😀

I think 25p must have been the going rate - I got that in the early 80s too 🤣

What a nasty, judgemental response.

Many of have been there, Ontoday. All I can say is things do get better eventually.

It sounds like you are doing all right and I think your little one is simply delightful!

Aw bless her. I think the best thing you can do with this is remain cheerful and don't let your money worries be obvious to her. It would be bad if she picked up on anxiety about it at her age, but it'll be positive if you can all embrace the rare 'treats' and enjoy what you already have as much as you can.

As others have said, you're raising her right.

Do you have a Facebook buy nothing or swaps and freebies group in your area? The magazine plastic toys are the kind that are wanted for 5 minutes so if anyone posts "does anyone have any plastic magazine type toys for my kids" they are inundated with offers. Reduces the waste a little by passing it on/increasing use

I'm not sentimental about DC but she sounds like a kind, thoughtful child. You may not have all the money you'd like but money really isn't everything

Exactly 💯

I was stupid with my very young dc. I showered them with this plastic shit - my dsis was clever, never bought hers any plastic nonsense and explained it like that - you don't need this rubbish. This is plastic rubbish. 'I shall buy you a nice charm for your charm bracelet instead'. So she bought her a little boot or a bus, or whatever. When our children grew up, mine had a tonne of plastic shit in containers up the attic, and hers - gorgeous gold charm bracelets with charms and pendants (they were probs 40 quid each at the time and she never bought more than one or two charms per year). You can explain to your dd that this plastic nonsense is just rubbish.