What are the most ridiculous things you’ve heard a grown adult say? (Lighthearted)

[MyTrivia]

‘Can dead people inherit money?’

‘If you put disposable nappies in the bin without removing the poo, they decompose’

My eldest adult dd
(Prince George had just had his first birthday) 'is he king?'
'Im not scared of falling'
Me-'what are you scared of?'
Her-'landing'
'If you wake up dead,do you know your dead?'
'I've tried but I cant spell in capital letters'
Her pointing at her new pups bollocks
'What are those things?'
Me-his balls'
Her-'he has balls?'
I once rang her-'im doing an ET and just phoning home'
Her-'whos ET?'
Me-'oh its a movie,about an alien,from the 80's,Google it'
Her-'how do you spell ET?'
It's a laugh minute around her

She doesn’t sound particularly sharp

Not sure at all about this.

The not being able to spell in capitals makes sense. It's not how we usually write, and lacks the easier flow of both hand-written and typed documents. You have to stop and reconsider.

Same for ET, how, on hearing ET can she naturally hear it as two letters? Eatey, Eetee, EeTea.

Not dumb at all. Her having children can be viewed as a service to future society.

The 2 women from Leeds on Gogglebox. They're watching Lady Chatterley’s Lover and one of them pipes up
’It’s like something from a book.’

Partner thought hair grew from the ends, not the roots. WTAF

Someone I bumped into that I hadn't seen for a few years:

Where are you working now?

Me: Chelsea and Westminster hospital

Is that a building society?

Me: No it's a hospital

Friend who insisted that Good Friday fell on a Saturday a few years ago.

I just remembered possibly the most ignorant/bigoted comment I ever heard come out of someone's mouth – a uni acquaintance back in the 80s on hearing that I was going to an Erasure gig: 'You'll get AIDS.' 🙄

I mean, if this had been right in the very beginning of AIDS... there was a lot of misinformation around at that time, but this was late 80s when info about it was, I'd have thought, common knowledge. I was gobsmacked.

Oh dear. 😄

Re the twins thing- years ago when mine were just born, I had them back to back in a single pram, so 2 heads visible above the blankets type of thing. (They were very small)
A woman glanced in the pram, did a double take and said my god, there's 2 of them in there, did I know? I feigned amazement, and said no, there was only one in there when I left home. I often wonder what she thought!

"Do you have Shrek in England?"

• American SIL

My husband was asked in the US (we are British)

Do you have running water where you’re from?

Another twin one- my friend said her mother was a twin and I asked if they were identical. She said they didn't know as HE (the other twin) had died. I had to tell her to think about it, it took a while for the penny to drop.

Overheard from tourist near the Tower of London: “This city was named after London, Ontario”.

TBF, I used to think that Pontefract was in Wales, and that Billericay was in Ireland. 😳

To be fair, those names do sound plausible for coming from those places!

That reminds me of one of the very early series of Big Brother - when it was still designed as a fascinating social experiment featuring ordinary everyday people in a very extraordinary setting.

Cameron Stout came from Orkney and he told them that they weren't yet civilised or developed enough to have electricity way up there... and a lot of them actually believed him!

Is it ridiculous if an adult assumes that Leeds Castle is in the north of England?

Whisper: it's nowhere near the well-known city of Leeds in the north of England. It's in Kent, near a village called Leeds!

And I still want to know the answer to "what does the government do, again?".

Indeed. Having people 'to look after you' doesn't just mean in the context of personal care. It's a whole society thing - and there are a lot of essential jobs and responsibilities that just cannot realistically be done by the vast majority of people over a certain age, and so we need adults from younger generations to fulfil them.

It's the equivalent of saying that nobody should ever have any need to learn to drive, as we can all just get buses and taxis.

It just doesn't change what you weigh. Maybe the poo will take off a few ounces but showering and having your hair up won't.

I think whatever makes weighing in more comfortable is a good thing but they talk some serious nonsense at SW to people who are in a vulnerable spot.

Groups of adults living together don’t pay extra in council tax either.

My colleague was in a queue behind some American tourists, in Edinburgh.

Tourist 1 : Isn't Edinburgh Castle so beautiful?

Tourist 2 : It is, it's just such a shame they built it so close to the railway.

(castle was built in 1103) 😆

I absolutely love watching these.

I had to explain to a grown man that 'longer' tampons (that is, the ones with an applicator) are not for women with longer vaginas.

I had to explain to the same grown man that no, my dog wasn't ill because she eats flies and one had stayed alive when she swallowed it and was 'doing things inside her'.

A different grown man, that we do not have to take our tampons out to pee (he knew I was on my period and had expected me to take longer in the loo when we were out for a drink).

I feel like those ounces add up.

• no clothes
• first thing in the morning, so haven't eaten anything yet
• wee & poo gone
• not showered, so no water weight in my hair

It makes me feel better anyway!

Friend- “when they build tunnels under water, how do they keep the water out while they build it?”
Me- “they don’t, they build it under the sea/river bed.”
Friend- “but the water must be trying to pour in all the time”
Me- “They build the tunnel under the ground, the water is on top of the ground”
Friend- “I don’t understand”
This conversation went on for about 10 minutes. I gave up in the end.