Anyone after a cheap laugh at my expense?

[UnctuousUnicorns]

My parents sent us a cheque in the post, just arrived today.
DH said, "I can't pay this in via the banking app; it's too big."
I said, "But it's just a normal sized cheque, surely?"
DH: "No, the amount of money it's for is too high - you cant pay that much in online!"

D'oh! 🤦‍♀️😳 😅😅

I can’t remember who told me this but a friend said about family gathering when she had a young baby and getting engaged in conversation then overhearing someone else mentioning the baby and looking around and at her husband and feeling panicked asking him where the baby is. Readers the baby was in a sling on her body

😂
Many years ago my car was broken into and phone stolen.
I went into a nearby shop who let me phone the police and helped clean up the glass. I gave police my mums phone number.

Police called mums looking for me. They told her nothing to worry about but her car has been broken into and phone stolen.

Oh right but she's not here.

Police then asked does she have a mobile number?

My mum was like you've just told me her phones been stolen!

That would be great but tbh I was told by the community liaison nurse that I'd be waiting a long time with our council, and what would be provided would be very basic. We're just fortunate that we had the funds available to buy stuff. We did ponder if we'd need to move, but realistically, that would cost 10s of thousands, probably necessitate a move to a bungalow (so more ££££), and we like where we live, don't want to move DD3 (16) from her school, so we're staying put and have ploughed the funds into adapting our house. 30s semi so rooms are quite small, stairs narrow and curved (think long C shape). Stannah couldn't help us with a stair lift so it's just as well a local company used to fitting them in these houses was able to put one in. I have a smaller, narrower wheelchair downstairs so I can get in and out of our dinky kitchen.

Would have loved to have spent the savings on a round the world trip, but heyho, shit happens and you just have to make the best of it. I have a very supportive DH and family so I'm very fortunate in that respect. 🙂

I've said that I'd read that as satire? 🤷‍♀️

I was once on my way home from a friend's house when I remembered leaving my keys on her kitchen table. Had I picked them up? Leant over to rummage in my bag - nope, keys not in there. Turned round and went back to her house. Pulled up outside, only to realise the keys were in the ignition, of course!

Back before contactless I was forever trying to get into my office building with my Oyster card, and vice versa. I’m better now but have occasionally tried to use my phone to get into the office.

Many years ago, my boss was doing a sponsored silence.

Mid-morning, I needed to tell him something, so I went to his desk, sat down and started to write him a note. He held one finger up, scribbled something quickly, and gave me a note saying ‘Gin, you can talk’.

I'd been to a staff training day at the school where I work (non teaching role) and it required a lot of concentration. I have had a brain injury, so after a long period of concentration my brain kind of shuts down. Anyway, we had a break, so I went back to the classroom with the teacher and TA. The TA asked if I could help him, so I said yes, and he gave me some paperwork and bulldog clips....I couldn't figure out how to open them!!!! I literally wanted the floor to open up and swallow me, I was so embarrassed!!! He actually had to show me!!! I felt I had to explain before he went away thinking I am dim!!!

I was lying in bed one morning recently. DH had gone out to work and DD to school, so it was just our whippet and me.

I was in that half asleep, half awake state. Felt under the duvet with my left hand - there was a strange hand under there. Wtf? This cold dread came over me - is it actually our dog's paw?
No, definitely a hand. Under the duvet. And I'm the only person in the house.

Shifted around and gradually got the feeling back to the "strange" hand, which was of course my own right hand, that I'd been lying on and made numb, so that in my dream state, it honestly felt like my left hand was feeling a complete stranger's hand. Was bloody freaky! 😅

I hunted high and low for my phone. Then decided I'd call it...with my phone that I was holding in my hand 😳

As a result of this, today I learned what airmail paper is.

I once tried to screen shot a crack in my phone screen to send my husband 🤷‍♀️

and you to be mean. Who hurt you?

My DM was once going home from town on the bus and suddenly thought 'Where's my shopping? Oh, that's right, on the back of the pram... Hang on, where's the pram?!' 😱 It was still outside the last shop she'd been in, with me wailing inside and a concerned crowd gathering...

Worse, she'd actually gone to town in the car... Post-natal hormones, eh...

Oh yes, I've done most of these things, too. (Though not the raw potato salad 🤦🏻‍♀️) Maybe I’m just ditsy. When I was at school munching an apple at break time, I would frequently bite the tennis ball in my other hand. I don’t think I can blame perimenopause for that.

Moved house many years ago and couldn’t be bothered to get mattress up to second floor bedroom. Dragged it into first floor spare room and crashed out, DDog remaining downstairs in kitchen.

Woke up as exH fell out of the mattress and realised DDog had come upstairs, got under duvet between us, turned the right way (head on pillow) and braced his legs against exH to push him out 🤣🤣🤣

Ah OP sorry you are going through it! Your original post gave me a laugh. There is always some dose ready to pull people down on Mumsnet.

How can you imagine that we’re so unkind!

My mum did that with my older brother. Came home from the shops, made a cup of tea, sat down, then wondered what was missing... Dashed back out in horror to the local shops where she'd left baby DB fast asleep in his carriage pram outside one of the shops!

I don't understand this one!

Oh God I would definitely do something like this! 😂

Air mail paper is lighter than normal paper, and postage is calculated by weight. So airmail paper is cheaper to use.

The sister didn’t realise the weight thing, and just thought “how could airmail paper be cheaper because they don’t know what paper I’ve used as it’s inside the envelope.”

They know because of the weight. She just thought how could they charge less for airmail paper vs normal paper, when it’s hidden in an envelope.

Don’t keep us in suspense OP. How large was the cheque?

Thank you!

I've never heard of air mail paper before.