Anyone after a cheap laugh at my expense?

[UnctuousUnicorns]

My parents sent us a cheque in the post, just arrived today.
DH said, "I can't pay this in via the banking app; it's too big."
I said, "But it's just a normal sized cheque, surely?"
DH: "No, the amount of money it's for is too high - you cant pay that much in online!"

D'oh! 🤦‍♀️😳 😅😅

I rang FiL on his landline and my 1st question to him was "are you home?"

if I’m out walking and get a phone call. I answer it then think where’s my phone as I can’t feel the weight in my pocket. My phone is being held to my ear that’s why it’s not in my pocket

On the subject of cheques, I once tried to clear an overdraft by paying in a cheque.

From the same account.

Got home from work the other day and dp had the bbq going
He was half way though cooking so about 10 minutes until the burgers were done
He excitedly asked for potato salad to go with it

I had a rummage in the fridge and on the sides couldn't find the cooked potatoes went back out to ask where they were

He "didn't realise they had to be cooked" and thought I could use the bag of raw baby spuds we got in the shopping the day before

i managed to call a restaurant and leave a voicemail to book a table, my phone then buzzed with a message, i'd called myself, patiently listened to myself , failed to recognise myself and left myself a message ! 🤦‍♀️

When I was a kid I put armbands on my ankles to see if I could walk on water.

Very dangerous, don't do it.

@UnctuousUnicorns can you get help from social services for help with the adaptations ? They have really helped me with mine x sorry you have been so poorly x

My hubby made me a cuppa tea, with a teabag and milk in a mug, and boiled the kettle, poured it over etc. Except he didn't boil the kettle and it was stone cold. 😬
So he took the cup away and remade the tea.....by popping it in the MICROWAVE all American style! 🤢
It was awful.
May he never repeat that mistake, or else He can move to the USA 😆

Edited to add, thanks for making me chuckle with this thread and I hope you're well 💕

@UnctuousUnicorns

I once rang my husband to tell him he had left his phone at home on his phone 🤣🤣🤣

DS1’s car needed to go into the garage but he had to go away on exercise with the army, so DDIL said she’d deal with it. The company came to pick it up so she text DS1 to tell him it had gone. She said “I had to sign for it”
So he asked what she’d signed.

She replied “my name. What else would I have signed?” 😂😂😂😂

Eleventy million years ago when I was taking driving lessons I had to stop at a level crossing. My driving instructorjoked told me that the siren was to notify blind drivers that the gates were coming down. I said that that was a good idea, but I hadn't realised blund people could drive.🤦

Saw a woman in front of me in the shop the other day, she took out a note to pay and tried to tap it! I'd say it happens quite often actually.

Well as this is about a cheque, I wondered if I should share the story where I misunderstood the term "return to drawer" which I thought meant that the bounced cheque was put inside a drawer at the bank. But then I decided it was too embarrassing. I think I must have been unduly influenced by this sketch:

Well, last week I was getting myself a wee bowl of crisps and a glass of wine. Put the crisps in the bowl first, and then got distracted by something and started to pour wine into the crisps bowl…..🙈

Last night I was in our bathroom looking at my collection of Clinique skincare lined up on the unit and thinking to myself, there’s a gap, what’s missing?…..while holding the tube of facemask that usually stands there IN MY HAND……

Perimenopausal brain 😔

no idea why you posted this other than to brag

Oh dear

Told my cousin I had to hang up because I couldn't find my phone and I was about to leave. He said 'Ok, call me back when you find it!'

Regularly press my car unlock key fob thing at my front door

Go to the shop to buy milk. Come out with everything but milk.

Realise half way though the day I've forgotten to put underwear on.

Greet clients with 'Hi, how are you?' They say 'I'm good thanks, how about you?' I reply ' really good thanks, how are you?'

Ahhhhh, Perimenopause.

In the late 90s we were on a family holiday when my exam results came in. My mum said they could phone home and someone would open them and tell me over the phone. I said absolutely not. My brother, totally seriously said, “why don’t you just get them to fax the envelope to the hotel and you can open it yourself?” He couldn’t figure out why we were all howling!😂

I have never, ever, been reading a paper and ink book and tried to pinch an area on the page to make it bigger. Not me. 😗

am on the floor laughing at this one 🤣 😂 😆

That can’t be true. No one is that stupid.

Go back and read the ops updates that were posted before you wrote this

Nope. Nor me.
Nor have I ever tried to swipe instead of turn the page.....

Ooh someone’s jealous.

Bet she still has the same broom.