Do you know anyone who has never suffered any kind of adversity or difficulty in their life (or have you never)?

[Waitingforthesunnydays]

I have this friend in her early 40s who I went to school with. She grew up with two loving parents, middle-class family, nice village, lots of community spirit, never any major money worries, had a genuinely supportive group of friends at school, of which I was part of and we’re all still good friends now, all been there for each other over the years, no major fallouts. She was naturally clever, popular, and got good exam results & a good degree from a good uni. She never seemed stressed about exams etc. She’s always been good looking, always slim without ever trying that hard, as far as I know. She had a long relationship with a guy from school from about year 9 till she was about 20. She then dumped him cos things just fizzled out. She met the love of her life a year later at uni, who she married and now has two lovely kids with. They travelled the world after uni together. She had a dream job that she successfully climbed the ladder in till she had kids in her mid 30s. Both pregnancies were a dream. She then decided she’d had enough of the corporate world, was a SAHM mum for a few years, while her husband earned big bucks, more than enough to support all of them. She then successfully launched her own business which is now super successful AND helps people in need AND she gets to be as hands-on or hands-off as she wants, giving her as much time as she wants to spend with her family. Her entire (very supportive, very loving) extended family all live within 15 minutes of her. They live in a beautiful house in a beautiful village with no mortgage. Her parents have always supported her with money when she’s needed it. She’s never been financially insecure. They go on amazing holidays multiple times a year. She or her family have never had any health problems. She has tons of friends, and is a genuinely lovely, funny, down to earth person. I could go on! And before anyone says it, yes of course I am jealous! It struck me the other day though, that she has never, ever experienced any kind of adversity in her life (and I would know, we are very close). She’s never experienced bereavement of anyone she’s close to, never had a health scare, never been bullied, never had issues trying to conceive, never had a period of poor mental health, never had any money worries, never disliked her job, never even experienced heartbreak or rejection! She’s basically always got everything she’s ever wanted. I’ve never met anyone that has managed to get to their 40s with everything having gone so absolutely perfectly. I do think she must have zero natural resilience sometimes. I’m just wondering how rare this is. Do you know anyone who’s literally never experienced anything going wrong in their life?

DP is a bit like this. Same parents, same house all through childhood. Not rich, but didnt want for anything. Got a science degree. boring but good job after, got a nice car and semi detached house. Didnt want kids, never had them, no drama. All close family still alive.

I have fucked it all up for him 🤭 trouble follows me around. My alcoholic dad died in my childhood, I had a long string of step families in and out of the picture, we moved house constantly. I continued the pattern and after a few dumb relationships with idiots, despite desperately wanting stability married a covert narcissist I had to divorce, now my daughter doesnt talk to me. I've had an abortion. My career path is like crazy paving 🤷‍♀️ i hate it.

Not sure why you feel the need to tell me my breakdown wasn’t as bad as someone else’s, but hey ho! Kind of proving the point that you don’t know what other people’s situations are, so maybe best not to judge? I never claimed I’d had it worse than anyone else, just pointing out that my life isn’t as carefree as it may look from the outside.

What so she has got all her grandparents at aged 40 and hasn't lost a single relative? She's materialistically "rich" and from the outside appears to have the perfect life, this doesn't mean she does, even if you are a really close friend there will be stuff she doesn't tell you, especially if you know her husband and family well. It's really pointless being jealous of someone who has money, having money does not make you immune from the ups and downs of life. Even if she hasn't had a bereavement (which is impossible at age 40) it is impossible for you to outlive everyone, unless you meet an untimely death yourself, in which case all your good fortune came to an abrupt end.

Focus on finding joy in your own life, comparison really is the thief of joy. People will always appear better off, happier or doing better, it doesn't mean they truly are.

Already posted but thinking again about this person. In order to maintain so many relationships and not needed support herself, it must follow that she is always there for others, and always listened to them and supported them. It can't be possible that all the people around her also had good luck follow them too. All too often we hear people say they can't be dealing with other people's drama or negativity etc, to be fair often because they are exhausted from their own but often because they just aren't that kind of person. This woman must be doing something right. To have good friends you have to be one first.

I know a woman who has never experienced anything awful at all , ever .
It is like she leads a charmed life .
She is generally speaking a nice person , but she’s incredibly out of touch with reality .
I remember her telling us in a chat group that she’d had a bad day , this meant she was late for a lunch 🙄 with friends ( she’s definitely a lady who lunches )
Oh and her husband had invited friends for dinner too close to them returning from yet another holiday and they didn’t have enough downtime before another break away (so she asked him to cancel the dinner )
She has a circle of loyal local friends and other friends that aren’t too far away .
She has adult children who’ve been no trouble as kids and teens .
She has so much money she doesn’t have to budget or think about what she’s buying ( doesn’t usually buy designer clothing but does buy a lot of clothes and it’s all high end high street )
She has a beautiful home , a housekeeper, a gardener and another home in a holiday town.

But some people only have adversities, it's like hot and cold, you need the extremes to know the difference.

I am also mid 40s and have several friends who I've known for over 20 years, a few that I've known for almost 40 years. All of us have faced great highs and lows throughout our lives. The lows have included mental and physical illness, still birth, redundancy, divorce, domestic abuse, bereavement, infertility, parental and child illness. One friend died last year. I think I've been relatively lucky - but I went through an awful experience 2 years ago that I will never recover from. Only a handful of people know about it. So I agree with PPs that you don't know what is really going on in people's lives.