Do you know anyone who has never suffered any kind of adversity or difficulty in their life (or have you never)?

[Waitingforthesunnydays]

I have this friend in her early 40s who I went to school with. She grew up with two loving parents, middle-class family, nice village, lots of community spirit, never any major money worries, had a genuinely supportive group of friends at school, of which I was part of and we’re all still good friends now, all been there for each other over the years, no major fallouts. She was naturally clever, popular, and got good exam results & a good degree from a good uni. She never seemed stressed about exams etc. She’s always been good looking, always slim without ever trying that hard, as far as I know. She had a long relationship with a guy from school from about year 9 till she was about 20. She then dumped him cos things just fizzled out. She met the love of her life a year later at uni, who she married and now has two lovely kids with. They travelled the world after uni together. She had a dream job that she successfully climbed the ladder in till she had kids in her mid 30s. Both pregnancies were a dream. She then decided she’d had enough of the corporate world, was a SAHM mum for a few years, while her husband earned big bucks, more than enough to support all of them. She then successfully launched her own business which is now super successful AND helps people in need AND she gets to be as hands-on or hands-off as she wants, giving her as much time as she wants to spend with her family. Her entire (very supportive, very loving) extended family all live within 15 minutes of her. They live in a beautiful house in a beautiful village with no mortgage. Her parents have always supported her with money when she’s needed it. She’s never been financially insecure. They go on amazing holidays multiple times a year. She or her family have never had any health problems. She has tons of friends, and is a genuinely lovely, funny, down to earth person. I could go on! And before anyone says it, yes of course I am jealous! It struck me the other day though, that she has never, ever experienced any kind of adversity in her life (and I would know, we are very close). She’s never experienced bereavement of anyone she’s close to, never had a health scare, never been bullied, never had issues trying to conceive, never had a period of poor mental health, never had any money worries, never disliked her job, never even experienced heartbreak or rejection! She’s basically always got everything she’s ever wanted. I’ve never met anyone that has managed to get to their 40s with everything having gone so absolutely perfectly. I do think she must have zero natural resilience sometimes. I’m just wondering how rare this is. Do you know anyone who’s literally never experienced anything going wrong in their life?

Nope, i don't know anyone person who has sailed through life like you describe. Even the ones who appear who have actually have had signficiant challenges. Life isn't easy for anyone, and I sincerely hope a spilled yoghurt is the worst thing that ever happens to PP dc.

According to you though.

I just don't really understand why you are thinking so deeply about the fact her life seems perfect? I can guarantee you it probably isn't and everyone has something that happened or they feel bad about but they just don't share it.

I just think you're better off just trying to improve or enjoy your own life. And be happy for people if things are seemingly going well.

But take it all with a pinch of salt. A lot goes on behind closed doors you'll never know.

Thanks but if she felt any guilt she wouldn't be super close with my parents still!

My nephew. Everything comes to him so easily.

Having lost my DM last month after ten years of dementia I can honestly say that grief may one day floor your friend … none of us escape unscathed.

In my experience adversity starts smacking you round the head big time in your 40s onwards so you never know what's in store really.

I'm not sure I know anyone thats had it that easy, but it is what I really hope for for my DC. Just want life to be kind to them. So I hope it is something that can happen.

I do know somebody who leads quite a charmed existence; they've travelled the world between a high flying career and exotic holidays, they are glamorous, have good friends, everything always works out perfectly for them on the surface..I don't know them well enough to know what goes on behind the scenes though, perhaps there is adversity I don't know about.I hope they retain their good fortune.
It is subjective I suppose, people may think the same about you or me OP. This thread is a good reminder to be grateful for what I do have.

Statistically, there must be some people/some families who go through decades without any of the major shit that life throws at other people (premature deaths, disabilities, illnesses, accidents, financial disasters etc); there are certainly some families who get more than their fair share - but that's random distribution for you.

Don't downplay this. I once dropped a yoghurt, it was fucking awful.

Not sure resilience comes from experiencing adversity. Quite the opposite actually. Unfair as it may be.

It’s an interesting question, I’ve had quite a spectrum of things go wrong in my 40 years of life, and it’s tempting to think some people never face any adversity but in trying to answer your question, I realise everyone I know is/has been dealing with something. I think some people get more things to deal with than others, I also think people can be lucky in some areas of their life and not in others.

My life probably looks pretty perfect from the outside, although I spent periods of my 20s single and a bit lonely and my family definitely has money worries when I was growing up.

None of my friends have ever mentioned my struggles with an eating disorder, I expect they haven’t noticed. Or my very unhealthy relationship with alcohol.

These things aren’t always visible.

Good luck
hard work - relationships and careers are often nurtured. Driving things forward is a skill.
a positive attitude towards life, possibly good at not sweating the small stuff

They all play a part. Some can put a negative spin on anything. EG having a village is usually a reciprocal arrangement so you have to put in the effort

hopefully she appreciates the good luck while it lasts and it continues well for her.

I’ve been quite lucky but life happens to all of us. Some are unlucky, unfortunately.

I know a few people like this, one a family member who has been bereaved when an elderly parent died, but little else. What I realised as life went on was her amazing positive attitude to everything so our perception was of an easy life more than the reality. Little things that go wrong for everyone go wrong for her too and she gets on with it and doesnt complain. I know others who haven't had trauma but talk a lot about life stresses. Like someone who spends 20 mins telling you about their car breaking down or they cant get an electrician out or they are upset cos they are cutting out dairy and it's too hard etc. This girl just oozes confidence and positivity and if it comes up in conversation she might share yes her car broke down too and she is on a restricted diet too, but it's all good.

Some people pretend to live charmed, perfect lives but spend years essentially lying. You know a PR version of themselves.

However in Iater years for many reasons the shit will.hit the fan and we get to.know the real truth.