Wendy Duffy heart breaking but understandable

[youalright]

What a brave lady i hope she's holding her son right now.

I can't reflect on it because I have no idea what you are talking about and you won't tell me. I thought you where getting upset about me saying to you this thread isn't my responsibility.

I am not going to requote your posts which may cause distress for others. I have already made it clear which posts I was referring to by naming the poster to whom you were responding.

If you can't be arsed to read back through your own posts to see what I'm talking about, that's fine. It doesn't seem as if you gave any interest in actually trying to understand, so there is no point in continuing this discussion.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/bereavement

Are you sure it was actually me or you haven't misunderstood as I haven't said anything that would cause distress and you're refusing to tell me which makes me assume you've realised you've got it wrong otherwise you would just say.

Yes it was you, and I've been clear enough already. I'm not going to engage with you any more because I think you're just winding me up now.

Just admit your wrong instead of playing games you won't tell me what i apparently said that would be to distressing for posters to read. Now you are refusing to talk to me instead of admitting you've got muddled up

I’m so sorry for your loss @LadyMacbethWasFierce

I have lost a young adult child and in the early days had many thoughts of no longer wanting to live. For me, it was both my other child and my husband who tethered me to the world. I did not want to cause them more pain, however much I wished to escape my own. I am now a few years further on and am so grateful to my child and husband for giving me a reason to continue. Life is still very hard, and I am still in great pain but I have a life worth living and a lot of love in my life. Everyone’s journey is so different but I hope you will one day be glad that you had no choice but to keep going 💜

She left inpatient care after 1 day because she said it felt like a prison.

Of course you would be.
As i said : every death is a tragedy. And devastating for the people left behind.
Death isn't competitive. I was only answering the point that you made that " most people won't suffer the loss of an only child". A lot of people will suffer that loss.

Of course all deaths are sad. But I don't think they compare to the loss of someone's child

Because there is no way of safe guarding people who might be coerced in to ending their lives. This is kown to happen in countries where assisted dying is legal.
And I still don't accept that this woman was competent to make this decision because of her mental health.
And I think it totally compromises the position of medical practitioners who take an oath to try and save lives.

Is there some kind of hierarchy of grief we are all supposed to accept? Or is it at all possible that everyone’s grief is personal to them and you aren’t the arbiter of who should feel sadder about the loss of a loved one?

I don't think there is a hierarchy but id be pretty convinced any parent would say the loss of their child would be the worst loss imaginable.

She might have, she might not. But even if she did that's 8 years of grief - that you can't know anything about how it manifests for any other human being. If every second of every waking minute is unbearable I don't know how you can casually proclaim that 8 years of that just needs to be 'gotten through'.

Were they wrong though? Someone posted they had lost their own child, asking for compassion, after you challenged their views which they had contextualised, saying they had supported other women who had lost children. You responded with “What?”

Was that polite? Was it compassionate?

And the mother still had this poster?

Losing a dc would be horrific, losing an only child unbearable imo.

I haven’t read the whole of this thread but I honestly feel that unless you have personally experienced a significant and traumatic loss yourself you can’t possibly comment because you can’t know how it feels. I lost someone close in a very disturbing way years ago. If I had been older and less hopeful of the future I would definitely have considered this.

What I think is distasteful are the those who are using the death of a previous poster's child, to try to 'win' an argument with a random on the internet.

Really poor taste.

Completely agree. Or at least been able to have family / friends support her in her decision without risk of prosecution.

I worked with someone who lost their only child to meningitis when they were about 17. I felt so awful for the poor parents. I sometimes wonder how they are. It must have happened over 25 year’s ago now.

There’s an obvious difference in losing your 99 yr old great grandma and losing your child.

Im sorry but I stand by what I said most people do not lose a child thankfully. Most people thankfully outlive their children. Im not apologising for stating a fact

What a crock!!!! Your talking rubbish

it’s very hard to do it successfully - especially without horrendous violence

they are right to be afraid they will botch the job - many people languish in hospital with organ damage or die slowly in pain -

Quite. I'm still waiting for anyone to answer my questions about what is so problematic about any one person choosing not to live the rest of a life they were physically capable of living. I'm not talking about coercing people.

What is supposed to be so absolutely precious about life for its own sake?

I very often think that religion invented sanctity of life to force people to keep living lives that are actually daily hard work to keep going.

Dying of old age is not actually an attractive proposition to a lot of people!

That particular clinic also do "ok, I'm old and I really don't won't to get any older" assisted deaths. It allows old couples to choose to die peacefully together on their own terms.

I have them bookmarked.

You are completely right - part of the churches work in medieval times was to take away the option of ending harsh life’s beyond what any of us can imagine and believe in salvation instead and the idea of paradise