Wendy Duffy heart breaking but understandable

[youalright]

What a brave lady i hope she's holding her son right now.

I'm not sure I agree it's brave. I think it's desperately sad and her siblings will be heartbroken.

I think making the right choice for you is brave

Its a very sad story when that was her only option. Grief changes you. I hope shes at peace with her boy now.

Agree that it's desperately sad, and quite disturbing. She must have been in such pain. 'Brave' doesn't sit right with me either

I think it takes a lot of balls to make this decision

I totally understand what she's done. I have one child. If they died I'd feel the same. How long ago did her son die? I would want to end it immediately.

4 years she did try to end her own life but it didn't work so she went down this route instead

Grief can overtake a person, and sometimes it becomes incredibly difficult to get out from, despite help from the immediate family, especially with the loss of an only child.

I saw this with a neighbour when his wife died. He was a lovely man, so bereft. He died peacefully in hospital.

Her choice.

It's a very sad affair but why are you assuming her siblings wanted her to live in never ending grief and despair She didn't owe them that.

I'd do exactly the same in that situation. I hope she is happy and safe with her boy 🥺❤️

People die of grief, always have done. Eg when one half of an old couple dies, it’s a known big risk to the other.

It’s up to her, entirely. May God reunite them in peace.

My only child died and whilst I absolutely understand Wendy's despair, I do wish she'd waited a little longer. Life can never be the same when your child dies but a good life is possible. I often felt I didn't want to be here, but never wanted to die. As long as I'm here, so is part of my son.

It does take time though and I wish she'd sought support from a group like The Compassionate Friends. It's absolutely tragic, but sadly not unusual.

Some parents use their grief to effect change; like the parents of Barney and Grace who have fought to bring the police and health authorities to account. Or Natasha's parents who campaigned for a change in the law regarding the labeling of food allergens and are now trying to eradicate food allergies.

Others run marathons or found charities in memory of their children. Many live quietly in dignity or quiet desperation or a mixture of both.

Sometimes grief makes life literally unbearable. Wendy should have been able to end her life with medical support in her own country rather than have to pay £10k to do it in Switzerland.

May she rest in peace.

I hadn't heard about this.

I am very much against assisted dying and reading about this poor woman makes me even more against it. And I say this as someone who lost her own son, albeit many years ago.

I don't think she should have been considered mentally competent to make this decision.

How absolutely sad and depressing.

Ds died 2 years ago. I have another adult child and that is the only thing stopping me doing what she did.

It's heartbreaking and hopefully she is now at peace ,but i think her family and friends may feel a sense of relief for her now ,it must have been horrendous seeing her in so much pain since losing her precious son.

I don't think she should have been considered mentally competent to make this decision

She was assessed and deemed to have capacity.

I believe everyone should have the right to choose

I think that it's right that she had this choice, but it's not brave at all. In fact, I can't even contort myself into any perspective where it might be mildly brave - and if it was brave (i.e. she was doing the hard thing when there was another easier option), then I'm not sure she should have been allowed to access assisted suicide... That would mean living was the easier option, and she still chose death - which isn't a sign that someone has their full faculties about them and is able to properly consent.

So do I.

If she’s been deemed competent then who is anyone else to say to her she must live. Why should someone else have that right, just because they don’t agree, or don’t feel like they’d do the same.

I'm against assisted dying in general but in this situation I actually think it's justified as long as she was competent to make the decision which it appears she was. What a desperately sad situation 😞

however, my worry about assisted dying being brought in in this country is that vulnerable, especially elderly, people may feel duty-bound to go down this path so as not to be a burden on their kids/society, even if their kids have not made them feel that way. They may not really want to. That must never happen.

Surprisingly compassionate posts on here. Unusual for MN. I hope the lady found peace.

Her mother is alive and wasn't aware. I think her grief and ending may now cause further suffering to her remaining family. She lost a son and her mother has lost a daughter.

I can understand the overwhelming grief and her suffering but it isn't a neutral act with no consequences.

This particular case has actually given me pause for thought on my support for assisted dying.

She will not be "holding her son" @youalright she is dead.

It is such a complex debate.

I truly believe she will, I have to believe that its the only thing that give me hope. You're absolutely right none of us know what's coming but I want to live a life that believes this is true