Does your 15-year-old teen drink socially?

[Shallowhallowpool]

DC is Year 10. Doing well at school. Does lots of team sports. An age appropriate pain in the butt, but overall great kid.

This academic year he's also started going out a lot more. Hanging with a big group. Parties. Parks. people's houses.

I know he drinks - he tells us - when he goes to parties or hangouts. He comes home mostly and he's not drunk. He says he has a couple of beers - but that they all drink. It's not all the time - at all. Every few weeks?

He swears he doesn't vape - he likes his sports too much - and I know he's tried weed because it didn't agree with him.

I guess my question is - how many Year 10 students drink socially? I try to be quite firm with boundaries, but also open so he'll talk to us about stuff. Just curious about others.

It's not just hanging out in parks 🙄Could you sound less judgemental, please.

Go out and have a few soft drinks instead?

Mine doesnt and has no interest in ever drinking (year 11). His friends also treat the idea with disdain and something only the ‘dodgy ‘ kids at school would do - it is still treated in whispers as an illegal thing if it ever gets round that someone drank at a party. They are all very health conscious and academically engaged and much more sensible than kids were when I was at school. But I’m all for it - Alcohol whilst the brain is still developing is actually very bad for you but more than that it does start an early link to alcohol or any other drug being necessary to socialise and have a good time and thats not healthy. It also lowers inhibitions and danger signals and I’d really worry about a young person making poor choices whilst under the influence and getting themselves in a position they are too young to deal with.

Great they have such good solial lives. All that alcohol must be doing wonders for their health, but as long as they are being solial.

I hope they have a good healthy liver. Must be doing wonders for their bank balance as well.

Glad I went down the no/low alcohol route. I honestly just don't enjoy it anymore.

My youngest is 16 and he doesn’t. He did go to a supervised party at a school friend’s house the other week and that’s when he first drank socially. We sent him with a few bottles of cider. I think him and a few friends shared so he probably had a variety of drinks.

He’s also had a couple of ciders when we’ve been on holiday but otherwise it doesn’t bother him too much. My other two were the same. Unlike me who was getting drunk in fields at around 14!!😂

Whilst I do completely get your perspective, and agree, I really resist the tone and the suggestion that all the kids doing this are 'dodgy' - even if you are paraphrasing your son. You can't possibly believe it, can you? I mean, you are able to believe it as your son (as far as you know) never drinks. But if your son was drinking in the way I've explained, wouldn't you bristle at the suggestion he was a dodgy kid?

And I suspect your son is also at the other end of the social scene to my son if he talks about in whispers...

Incidentally, my son is on course for 8s and 9s. Dodgy but doing well.

Yes of course but not the reality for many. And arguably a few drinks is better than social isolation.

I do know a fair few teens that go to parties and not drink to be fair. But there will always be many that do. I can’t get worked up over it. I would just like an honest conversation and to know what they are drinking.

Yep. There is zero correlation between having few drinks at a party and academic success.

I managed to have a decent social life and still get good grades. It really isn’t hard if you’re clever.

I have one DS at the local comp and one at private school. If anything the private school parties are more crazy.

It really isn’t true that all the clever kids are staying in and being studious and just the ‘dodgy’ kids that are out drinking. It’s also a dangerous and naive narrative…

The U.S. is a highly addicted country, it has the highest overdose death rate in the world. The U.S. permits many additives in it's food that are banned in the UK and Europe. If your 16 year old was to have a high quality brewed lager it is arguably healthier than a soft drink like coke.

So you think 15 year olds don't hold parties where they steal their parents' alcohol?

Judgemental: the vastly over used MN favourite word to dismiss other posters opinions that don't chime with your own.

What is jugemental about thinking it's extremely sad that 15 year old children have been brainwashed by societies attitude that assumes no one can enjoy themselves without drinking alcohol ?

I see what you are trying to imply but our teenagers are very popular at school and have a big social life it's just there really isn't a drinking scene. I hear that from heaps of parents. It is very much a niche thing in our area and something to be pitied /derided. But this may vary hugely from area to area - so you don't need to be offended on behalf of your son. I quite miss my wild partying years and don't regret them so I certainly don't judge you or your son (I got straight As too). It just isn't a thing round here even in the popular crowd (perhaps particularly in the popular crowd who are all very sporty and health conscious)

It was your whole approach that there must be something wrong in their lives to enjoy a drink socially.
You come across as though you are looking down on parents who let their 15 year old children drink alcohol. Hence judgemental.
No one is saying that people can't enjoy themselves without alcohol, only you implied that.

Cannabis was definitely illegal when I grew up and we were definitely surrounded by a fog of cannabis smoke at parties. Often friends parents knew /joined in!

Something being illegal doesn't mean it doesn't happen

I have family in the US and they had huge parties as teens

No one has been brainwashed 😂.

Teenagers like to experiment with new things. A lot of them can’t wait to get older and have freedom. A lot of them think they are far older and wiser than their years. This isn’t a new thing and it isn’t sad. It’s a completely normal part of developing from a child into a young adult.

If my teenager is going to experiment with drinking, then I’d much rather it be whilst they are living at home rather than when they head off to university.

Getting shit-faced at a party, making a tit of yourself, and then being able to come home to mum who will keep an eye on you overnight and clean your sicky bathroom in the morning is the safest way to do it.

And all this nonsense about it only being the dodgy, unachieving, unsporty kids ridiculous.

All the popular, A-Team kids at Independent schools across London who will be coming out with straight 9’s at GCSE and A’s and A stars at A-Level are the biggest party goers in my experience. Although they do tend to calm down quite a bit in exam season, thank god!

Very well said. Some posters on here really love to look down on others.

It's to fine to judge those who can't enjoy themselves without alcohol at 15 (or indeed any age).
I don't think there's anyone on the thread who is saying that though.

Goodness OP, you mentioned parks in your original post! I think you view everyone whose teen wasn't drinking at 15 as judgemental. Not sure why you asked about it really.

No. I completely agree with much of the perspective, as I've said. But I do think there are some judgemental tones flying around.

Here we go again.

I am a sentient person with an opinion. I expressed that opinion. And because you don't like my opinion you tell me I am passing judgement. It's beyond ridiculous.

And yes I do thiink there is something far wrong when it's now regarded as normal by a lot of parents that their children drink alcohol. And what's more drink alcohol in other' peoples houses with the full knowledge of the adults whose care they are in.

It is my OPINION
It is not JUDGEMENT.

Where did I say I didn't like your opinion?
I thought I was agreeing with you (to some extent).

No. Ds is 17 and still isn't interested in alcohol. Has never touched it as far as I know, despite me offering.

No! I have a 17 year old and no where near drinking. He knows I wouldnt allow it in the house and he hasn’t been brought up around anyone drinking really so I suppose that could be why.

the very odd occassion I’ve had one drink my 14 year old tells me off so don’t think she will be either.

No my daughter is 15 and in year 10 and doesn't drink socially.

She is busy a lot of nights and most weekends with army cadets and is in a football team.
She doesn't really go to parties. If she goes out she usually goes on the train to the next town with a few friends to look around the shops and go to Five Guys or something or just chilling out at a friend's house with parents there.

I can't say she's never tried alcohol but she's definitely never come in smelling of it (or strong mints 😆) and shes always come home completely sober.

No. I started drinking at 14 socially and I think it rewired my (susceptible?) brain to feel I needed to drink to have fun. I have had to work on that