Does your 15-year-old teen drink socially?

[Shallowhallowpool]

DC is Year 10. Doing well at school. Does lots of team sports. An age appropriate pain in the butt, but overall great kid.

This academic year he's also started going out a lot more. Hanging with a big group. Parties. Parks. people's houses.

I know he drinks - he tells us - when he goes to parties or hangouts. He comes home mostly and he's not drunk. He says he has a couple of beers - but that they all drink. It's not all the time - at all. Every few weeks?

He swears he doesn't vape - he likes his sports too much - and I know he's tried weed because it didn't agree with him.

I guess my question is - how many Year 10 students drink socially? I try to be quite firm with boundaries, but also open so he'll talk to us about stuff. Just curious about others.

Mine did as she is a Summer born and had plenty of 16th birthday parties at that age.
She luckily hates beer, wine and processo. That was what most parents allowed and really supervised. We talked about alternatives and she had some ciders and pre-mixes which are the same alcohol level as a beer.

She never was and is a big drinker, she is now at uni and is going out but according to her never is drunk. She tried to vape but is very against it in general and hates the smell of weed.

Good lord no. This isn’t part of our social scene in the slightest in Sydney. All my son’s friends are aiming for great exam results, are sporty and have hobbies and interests that don’t align with drinking at all.

DD was drinking at parties from Y11. She wasn’t overly keen so would nurture a can of fruity cider. Now in Y13 and they drink at parties and down the beach in the summer. She’s never come home steaming. And she’s still playing sport, studying hard and hoping to get good exam results like most of her mates who all got top grades at GCSE as the two things aren’t mutually exclusive!

I’m sorry I just don’t believe a sociable 15/16 year old that goes to parties is entirely teetotal. They’re having you on.

I went to a comprehensive school and I knew one boy who would regularly drink far too much vodka from the age of 11.

It seems to depend on which set you move
in rather than type of school. Where we live the teen all merge in anyway dd2 friendship group is a mix of state mostly private they don’t seem to care.

I think a lot of the people on here are either very naive or don’t have teenagers. Or worryingly enough weren’t even teenagers themselves.

Having experience of this with both of Mine at that age, is that if they’re going to drink they’re going to drink anyway. The fact your child is open with you and saying they have a couple of drinks you’ve never seen them drunk is a very positive thing. I read an entire book on alcohol and teenagers based on the European way of introducing children to alcohol. Which is a lot healthier than the culture in the UK.

If you have no concerns about being drunk and they’re very open with you, I would not overly react. The fact that they are telling you demonstrates are very healthy open relationship between yourselves, and the fact that they have not displayed any concerning behaviour is also a positive thing. You know your own child and I would not overly worry what people say on here.

My DC do in fact tell me everything. The 14 year old used to vape regularly, did some very dangerous and borderline illegal things, has asked to try my wine but been put off by the smell. He tells me everything because he knows he'll be treated fairly.

Absolutely not and I know that for fact. They are not party kids anyway and the only things they do are go to the driving range or country club or a local restaurant. 16 year old has 100% not tried alcohol nor vaping, it is not the scene they and friends are in at all.

My 19 year old doesnt but hes an insulin dependent diabetic and really worries about the affect it wull have on his blood sugers .

No, because he is very into fitness and the gym. I get lectures about clean eating! But I wouldn’t have a particular issue if done in moderation.

I personally think it’s better to make mistakes like being drunk with friends who’ve known you and probably your parents for several years than go off to university or similar, not having had those experiences and knowing your limits. My school friends would never have left me drunk but I imagine some of my uni friends would have.

Agree. Friends Dd was horrified at some
of her peers in her first year at uni. Their first time “off the leash” as they had never socialised some drank to excess and got into unsafe situations. She had done all that while living at home with mum and dad there to swoop in as necessary and with loyal
old friends. So having an entirely inexperienced at partying teen is not necessarily a good thing!

I appreciate all the views, thanks.

Whilst I would prefer him not to be drinking at all, it's very clear this is not the way it will be, so I'm - more than ever - keen to keep communication open and transparent, where possible. Of course, I'm sure he's not telling me everything but i know some kids who tell their parents NOTHING.

I was not a drinker at all at his age, but i don't even think that's relevant any more. The culture has shifted. And for all those 'Oh no Lordy, not my child, they're so sporty, and want to do well' as if these things are entirely contradictory, they're really not. He works hard. He's in top sets. He's in two sport teams and loves his sports. Amongst his friends are head boys, student reps, top set kids doing loads of sports. These are not drop outs.

It’s bonkers to equate teenage social drinkers with alcoholic losers! I suspect those with such hardline black and white views have teens that know that and are careful to keep their parents utterly uninformed.

Am with you op we don’t love it and don’t encourage it but we keep the lines of communication open. Both of ours are academic hard workers have Saturday jobs and interests but are also sociable with lots of friends and live their lives to the full which does include some boozing. Never seen either blotto drunk though.

Not socially no. He’s allowed and does enjoy to have a beer or two in the house on a weekend but no not out with friends. He goes out with them a lot but so far he’s always been picked up and to be fair they spend 95% of their time in the gym!

His father and I on the other hand were the type of 15 year olds who were supposed to be at our friends houses on a sleepover but were busy vomiting back up the litre of Mad Dog 20/20 we’d just consumed.

I very much did drink heavily at times by 15
But our 15 and 16 year olds don't drink at all, they aren't fussed by it. They have a huge social group but tend to get together to play sport - or go to places like nandos

The 20 year old didn't drink till she was 18, and only drank a few times before deciding it wasn't for her.

Their teenage years are quite different from mine!
In fairness I loved dancing so I mainly went out drinking because I wanted to dance

Like others have said , our boys spend their time with friends at the gym/bouldering wall/cinema/driving range/pool/nandos or they hire a 5 a side pitch as a group

They aren't completely healthn obsessed but seem to think of lots of things to do that aren't drinking

I'm not naive, I partied hard as a teen so I am always on the lookout for signs, and they are very open with me.

Some of their friends vape but it tends to only be the ones whose parents vape

See to me it feels the culture has shifted the other way, pretty much everyone went out drinking by 15 when I was a teen but it seems very much not the norm for teens now where we live.
There's a small subset who do drink but the majority seem to socialise by doing sports /cinema etc

No naiveté from me. I fully expected my children might dabble in a bit of drinking when they hit their mid teens but they tend to all just go out and do things in the day /early evening

I remember the first time my brother came home roaring drunk at 15. He and his friends had heard of a Polish bar that didn't ask for ID so they all went off, claiming to be going to each other's houses. My Mum asked him to be back before 9 as it was my Dad's birthday party and she wanted to show off her golden boy to all the relatives who hadn't seen him in years.

At 9:30pm he came in and had already circulated his way around lots of shocked elderly relatives by the time my parents realised and my Dad quickly herded him off to bed.

Unlike golden boy, it sounds like your son is quite sensible and hasn't, as yet, embarrassed you in front of Great Auntie Sue. It also sounds like he's got an honest and open relationship with you, which you probably want to keep going for as long as possible.

When I was 15 there was no endless video gaming, steaming or even mobiles. We were often bored so alcohol livened things up. I was way way worse than either of mine. I’m also convinced that as alcohol isn’t banned to them & I’d say yes if they asked, they aren’t then fussed.

My 17 yo doesn't drink and has never tried it won't even try a sip at home. Many of his friends drink but lots don't. We are in Australia and the young ones are just drinking alot less. Good to see I think personally.

That's my experience in Australia too. A small subset drink and vape and do weed but most don't. I think end of Year 12 that will change a bit.

As someone who is 25, I didn't at all at 15.

I only started at 17 because I saw people do it at parties and casually and I had fomo in a non alcohol household. I don't actually enjoy alcohol anymore and have given up for the most part. It's definitely not good for developing and growing brains.

At sixth form parties and uni. I would get drunk, sometimes act like an idiot, embarrass myself and then wake up hungover.

One did, one didn’t. Both were great teens, sporty, good exam results, sensible friends and hobbies but one was a lot more social than the other and invited to everything while the other wasn’t in the “cool” group if that makes sense.

I don't know about that theory. We visited Germany last year and my DC was frequently asked if they wanted a beer presumably as they thought they were 16, they were only 14, obviously didn't have one. In Spain it was the same with beer. I assume not spirits. I don't think a couple of beers means this.