Does your 15-year-old teen drink socially?

[Shallowhallowpool]

DC is Year 10. Doing well at school. Does lots of team sports. An age appropriate pain in the butt, but overall great kid.

This academic year he's also started going out a lot more. Hanging with a big group. Parties. Parks. people's houses.

I know he drinks - he tells us - when he goes to parties or hangouts. He comes home mostly and he's not drunk. He says he has a couple of beers - but that they all drink. It's not all the time - at all. Every few weeks?

He swears he doesn't vape - he likes his sports too much - and I know he's tried weed because it didn't agree with him.

I guess my question is - how many Year 10 students drink socially? I try to be quite firm with boundaries, but also open so he'll talk to us about stuff. Just curious about others.

How is it judgemental to care about children's welfare?

A 15 year old is a child...

The laws on drinking alcohol are there for a reason . The effects of alcohol on a child's brain are extremely negative. So why would any parent want their child to drink?

You talk as though you don't see it as it's your place to parent your child. Do you allow your child's friends to drink alcohol in your home? Why are other parents allowing your child to drink alcohol in theirs?

If an adult is buying alcohol for your child to drink in a public place they are committing a criminal offence .

I have 14y old DD (Y9) and 16y old DS (Y12). Neither of them are interested in drinking, but they both compete at a high level in their sports, so generally fairly clean living. Importantly, their social circles are people they do sports with, so also not into drinking which I think helps a lot. I wasn’t sporty at all and was definitely drinking at 15.

Yeah...well sorry to burst your bubble but while you were doing homework all night on Saturdays at 15 everyone else was pooling their pocket money to buy 4 Bacardi breezers & drank them in secret at someone's grans 😆 it is what it is, teens will be teens! Be realistic & try to focus on harm prevention rather than a complete ban they will just lie about

I did, and my parents probably knew what I was up to about 10% of those times 🫣 I hardly drink now really, I’ll have maybe one or two cocktails every six months and that’s it as I just don’t care for it anymore.

My brother didn’t, and still doesn’t drink at 25, he’s tasted alcohol a couple of times and doesn’t like it at all.

Who said I want him to drink? That's a huge jump.

I think it's really rude to suggest that I don't see it as my place to parent my child. I'm a devoted parent. I just live in a realistic world, not a parallel universe with unicorns and 15 year olds who do everything their parents want

And what makes you think other parents know? So many judgements.

My DS did, but not loads, until the last day of school when I got a frantic call from a couple of his mates. I have photographic evidence of his sitting in my car with his head in a bucket!! Lol
He was a bit if a partier through uni, but he’s 24 now and just has a normal drinking life, mostly a couple of drinks with and an occasional blow out.
My DD didn’t, she’s 20 and at uni now, I know she does drink but I’ve never seen her drunk bar once, but she was just a bit over happy rather than falling about.
I drank once when I was 15, got completely hammered, I didn’t really drink again until I got to university where I was an animal!

I didn't drink until I was 18. And neither did anyone in the social group i mixed with.
My son didn't drink until he was 18 and neither did the social group he mixed with.
So whereas you think children drinking alcohol is normal i most certainly don't.

Teens will be teens is the ultimate get out clause for people who can't or won't parent their children imo.

I think 15 is a bit young. I wouldn't buy them any alcohol for parties etc until at least 16, ideally 17, yes they will probably do it anyway but I wouldn't be sanctioning it.

Yes, my 16 year old started having the a drink with friends once they started year 11.

We have had a chat about not having spirits, unless a premixed alco pop and the dangers of drinking too much. They are allowed 2 cans of cider or lager or a couple bottles of alcopop, and have so far stuck to that

Its not every time they go out, just every few weeks and they have 2 sport and one creative hobby so I'm not concerned... I'd rather them feel able to be honest and not try and hid things from me.

He didn't drink that you know of.
Same of social group.
Do you think teens routinely go and drop themselves in it by letting their parents know they're off to raid a friend's parents liquor cabinet while the parents are away. No.

Hmmm, the sport thing. I was world ranked, so competed at the very highest level, I was clean living for 95% of the time, but wow, that other 5% was bloody crazy! Lol

My y9 drinks occasionally, probably once a month him and his friends get together and have a couple of beers or alcopops each. Parents all know each other and we know where and when it’s happening and there’s always an adult about to keep an eye on them (not that they need it).

I've never sanctioned or bought. I just don't know how I can stop it if it's happening outside of that.

You seem very sure that you know exactly what your son and his 18 year old friends were up to all the time. I find that bizarre.

I certainly was at 15 - in fact we were all drinking pints at the village local but this was about 2002 and in the country so things may have changed!

I would not allow a teen to drink in my home without speaking to the parents first.

The 4 kids my 16 year old hangs out, I have spoken to the parents and they are of the same opinion as us, that we would rather know if they are going to drink alcohol and them feel able to tell us. They buy what they allow their kid to drink and I buy what I allow mine to.

I have 17 and 18 year old boys and they were not drinking at 15. They mainly played online games with their friends so weren’t going out to parties but there is no way I would have let them hang around parks. Now they’re older they’re out and about more with their friends so I can’t know for sure that they’re not drinking but they’ve never come home drunk or smelling of alcohol.

Have you tried telling him not to drink op? I mean I am not saying he will stop if you tell him to but when he comes home and says he had a couple of beers how do you react?

My DD is year 10 and doesn’t drink.
It’s too young, 14/15 even 16 year olds really don’t need to drink alcohol.
I wouldn’t be angry or anything if she tried alcohol at a party and she is allowed to try some at home sometimes, but she is too young to be taking alcohol to parties in my opinion.
Sometimes grown ups have to say no because teenagers actually are still children and can’t be trusted to make the best decision every time

We have had lots of discussions about it. Lots. From all different angles. Health. Safety (this is the big concern). Habits. Everything. He knows my feelings on it - I don't drink, I don't like it and i have been very clear about that.

He's a force of nature. He's also doing well at school, studying hard at home, is committed to his sports and has nice friends. Those are all incredibly positive things and I have to give him credit for that.

The only thing I could do is ground him but that would have to be ongoing and it would be futile and is very unrealistic.

But I don't ever give him booze. Ever. I have no idea where they get it but it's not from us.

Yup normal.

No mine doesn't.

My now 16yo (Y12) doesn't drink and has no desire to. My now 18yo (Y13) was just beginning to drink in year 10 but it was really in y11 at 16th birthday parties that she started drinking more regularly (and when I say regularly I mean once a month at birthday parties, no other time). Very little though, she would come home a little bit louder than normal but nowhere near drunk. She did get drunk and vomit for the first time aged 17 but hasn't done it again. Still doesn't drink wine with dinner but likes a cocktail at special events. Doesn't drink to excess and definitely drinks far less than I did at her age.

My DC are aged 16 to 20. DC1 wasn't drinking at that age (but that may be because of lockdowns as it was the Covid era), DC2 still doesn't really drink, DC3 (currently year 11) drinks socially. He probably first tried it in year 10 but not regularly. He swears to me that he's never tried drugs or vaped or thrown up from alcohol. He's a good boy who is polite and kind, works hard at school and is aiming for excellent GCSE results (fingers crossed) so I think it could be a lot worse!