Does your 15-year-old teen drink socially?

[Shallowhallowpool]

DC is Year 10. Doing well at school. Does lots of team sports. An age appropriate pain in the butt, but overall great kid.

This academic year he's also started going out a lot more. Hanging with a big group. Parties. Parks. people's houses.

I know he drinks - he tells us - when he goes to parties or hangouts. He comes home mostly and he's not drunk. He says he has a couple of beers - but that they all drink. It's not all the time - at all. Every few weeks?

He swears he doesn't vape - he likes his sports too much - and I know he's tried weed because it didn't agree with him.

I guess my question is - how many Year 10 students drink socially? I try to be quite firm with boundaries, but also open so he'll talk to us about stuff. Just curious about others.

My 15yo doesn’t at all. My 18yo does occasionally but never to excess. Neither see the point. The 18yo is particularly disparaging about those that hang around drinking because they think it’s cool. Her words, not mine. Her friends drink but she’s happy to have a couple then stop, if at all.

Both of them hate vaping. Neither of their friends do and the 15yo actively avoids those that do because she thinks they’re sad. Again, her words, not mine.

I was considered sad and weird because I didn’t drink myself into a state every weekend at the age of 16 but I really didn’t care. I realised those who thought that of me weren’t worth having in my life so I found new friends. My dc are the same!

In our area it’s fairly normal for parties with alcohol appearing in Yr10-11. Some go some don’t.
Some drink some don’t. Most parents send their child with a couple beers etc but other kids turn up with vodka etc
vaping is a bigger worry I think

Yes. DD has been going to parties with booze since the start of year 10. She’s not been excessively drunk yet, but a few are at each party. They seem to learn their lesson.

I buy her a few drinks for each party (canned cocktails and buzzballs seem to be the favourite with the girls), and have hosted. I told them no spirits and no vaping. I caught some vaping and sent them to the garden with a lecture, and found an empty bottle of spirits under the bath.

Some of the early hosts checked with parents they knew about whether the kids were allowed to drink, but I hosted much later on in the cycle so didn’t bother. If the parents thought they were coming to a sober party they didn’t know their kid very well and that’s not my problem.

Something wrong in their lives?!

Give over.

Yes, both of mine started drinking at parties in year 10. They’re 18 and 20 now and take it or leave it. They both tried vaping too, even my super sporty (country level) one was doing it at parties, a good bollocking and grounding for a few weeks, thankfully, sorted that out.

Just asked my DD (30,drinks very occasionally) why young people don’t drink so much alcohol these days, she said ‘cos they’re all taking ket instead’
hope that was a joke

Agree totally

No

My three teens aged 17, 15, 15 don’t drink. And have almost no interest. As it should be.

Agreed.

Same

DS 19 has never drank. He has ASD and isnt a social person. He has done his first year at uni and still hasnt opted to drink.

DD is 17 and dos drink however her frindship group didnt start drinking until end of GCSE/year 11 really and she only drinks maybe once every couple of months when someone has a house party. Lots of her friends dont drink at all. I assume she will drink more when she goes to uni in september!

DS 15 has not drunk - he has the odd taste at home but genrally doesnt like it. I am sure this may change but he doesnt like loud music and parties so probably wouldnt want to go to gatherings where drinking is likely anyway!

No. I don’t think teens should be drinking. Alcohol disrupts the development of the teenage brain.

Yes, only at house parties. (DD16)
4 cans of Smirnoff & cranberry
Occasionally cans of Forloco but it’s 8%!!
Happy to buy them for her and have her explore. Did the same for her brothers and they’re not big drinkers now. It’s just a phase in my experience.

I’m 25 now but never drank (not even a glass of wine) until I was 18 or even watched an 18+ film until I was 18.

I did however get pregnant at 15 and move out at 16 so not a normal teenage hood

Haha. That’s the sort of thing my 24 year old ds says. Possibly true of some. It’s apparently cheaper.

No

DS was never banned from drinking and had tried lots of different things over the years (sips). He never really enjoyed it and at 15 when his mates were drinking he chose not to. At University he drank a bit but hates feeling out of control. I think the fact it was never taboo helped him have a healthy relationship with alcohol. He saw me enjoy a drink but never drunk as I also hate the feeling. He has picked up an expensive taste in malt whisky from my dad though!

I think you should be proud OP that you have the kind of relationship with your child where they tell you that they’re drinking. That’s real trust and I can only hope mine are as open with me when they’re teens! X

Thank you, I really appreciate hearing that.

Not my Y10 15 year old, no. He never goes out with friends. Nor did my elder son now 19. He started socialising during the summer after GCSEs.

My nearly 18yo didn't and still doesn't. DS is nearly 15 and has no interest. I would have no problem with either of them drinking in moderation at 15 if they were open and honest about it. DH's nephew has been like that since 16 - he will drink but not much and his parents have trusted him with it as they know he and his friends are sensible.

DD does, I am aware of it but don’t facilitate it. Unlike some (ex) friends parents, who have given them vodka and once, a bloody bottle of Sancerre. I would have no problem with a parent checking with me and giving them a couple of age appropriate drinks and I imagine we will do this if she has friends round to our family parties in the summer.

DSS1 is year 9 and at 13 til the summer, one of the youngest in his year. There is a house party every three weeks or so and he reports kids drinking at them and sometimes people getting drunk. I’m not surprised by this really, it’s far less than I was doing at 13, though he seems far less mature than I was at the same age.
This weekend (our weekend) he was seen on his Snapchat drinking a bottle of beer at a party. We have had a stern chat with him about choices, and he has been grounded for the weekend and told that the next time there is a party and for the foreseeable, we will be picking him up at 10, and he will be staying at our house (he stayed at a friends after the party this time-we have spoken to the mum and they weren’t drunk when she picked them up). He was contrite and it seemed to land, but in my view this is the time they will start to experiment with things that as parents we would rather they weren’t. The best you can do is arm them with information, stick to boundaries around pick ups etc, and keep the relationship open so they at least feel they can be honest about what’s going on and will ask if they need help.
DSS’s mum however takes a different view and has gone ballistic, screaming at him down the phone and again at his football practice, grounded for life, lost his phone for two weeks, and will be doing chores for a month. Her prerogative for when he is with her. But we just don’t feel it’s the right way to go. I’m 95 per cent sure he will at some point in the future drink at a party again. But I’m 100 per cent sure he won’t be honest about it if that’s the reaction. And to me that’s worse than having the odd beer here and there. I’ve got two older DD’s and DD2 in particular was a partier. No amount of me telling her not to stopped her. That was her personality and her friendship group at the time. What kept her safe was knowing that if she or her friends needed help she could ask me and I would be there-and that’s what we will be sticking with with the DSS’s.

Sorry but slightly eye rolling at the absolute denial by some that their 15/16 year old teens have ever drunk or vaped 😄. You likely don’t know the half of it - they are not going to tell you are they! Vaping is pretty endemic at this age.